I saw that - Well played, Guardian
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You blow up one of their planes??
So do we start a game day thread on Saturday?
Only 9600 posts to go.
You post one more and whaddya get
9599 posts to go!
9599 posts to go (etcâŚ)
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RubbishâŚitâs 9598 posts to go (I hate people who canât count)
Actually itâs 9573 posts to goâŚnone of you can count (including me in the above post 
)
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I knew postal counting was rigged.
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For me, there is no other choice when deciding who to watch for any election. His knowledge and understanding is irreplaceable. Elections wonât be the same after next Saturday.
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The first five minutes of the ABC coverage has to be his prolonged entrance, set to The Final Countdown.
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Agreed. Heâs almost got a unique place in Australian media based on sheer knowledge and mastery of his field of expertise. Being just really well-informed is an increasingly rare superpower in journalism world.
Iâve just got the horrible feeling the ABC will miss the point entirely and replace him with a generic vibes-based politics-adjacent talking head, David Speers or someone, rather than recognising that the universal respect heâs held in is based on him just being very good at what he does. You need an utter 24/7 election nerd in that job. You canât just assign some random journo and tell them to spend a couple of days panic-memorising electorates before the broadcast.
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They also need to be good at conveying the information in a way itâs easily understood.
There are lots of political boffins who have comparable knowledge to Antony Green. Bugger all, if any, can communicate it as well as he does.
Casey Briggs is the heir apparent.
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And BORING.
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numbers nerds should be boring imo
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alright here we go, simmo41âs guide to voting below the line in the senate
usual disclaimer: iâm a bleeding heart liberal lefty [homophobic slur] type who hates australia and hates freedom. i have never claimed or pretended to be unbiased so donât come at me about that.
maybe iâm softening as i grow old but there seemed to be far less wingnuts than last time, so i didnât have as many dark thoughts while writing this as i did the last couple of times. maybe there is hope after all.
lol
a - libs/nats. ok so if youâre a liberal voter, hear me out, do what you gotta do. but please at least consider going below the line and putting james paterson at 6. this guy is a genuine empty shell. his brain works like chatgpt, in that it will consider the last thing it heard to be the gospel truth. âhey james, asparagus tastes awful you should never eat it.â âyou are right, iâll never eat it again.â âhey james, disregard that, asparagus cures syphilis.â âah yes of course, please bring me a plate of it.â heâs their number one guy only because heâs such a low crossing-the-floor risk. if youâre ok with that kind of thing representing your interests then go for it, but at least consider not defaulting him here.
b - legalise cannabis party. finally time to admit that the war on drugs has been won by drugs. literally every single policy they have is centred around legalisation of weed. environment? grow more plants. economy? gst on weed products will fund everything forever. legalisation of marijuana for personal use? dunno, couldnât find anything. harmless, put them in your mid-card.
c - animal justice party. generally speaking, progressives. move to renewable energy, universal health care, that kind of thing. but as per their title they go in to bat very hard for critters. top of the list is fkng off greyhound racing, with horse steeplechase a close second. also get this - âthe animal justice party objects to the use of vilifying imagery and language (âferalâ, ânoxiousâ, âverminâ, âinvasiveâ and âpestâ) that is used to develop a lack of empathy for introduced animalsâ. single issue but at least theyâre direct about it. probably a mild risk of electing a furry. mid-card.
d - indigenous-aboriginal party of australia. these lads had to run solo last time because they werenât registered in time, but theyâve got their name up top now. before you go crying about âbut i already voted no!â, their headline priorities are environmental protection - particularly that of the murray-darling basin - and a resurrection of traditional land management practices. their general view seems to be that support for indigenous people is best applied at the local level rather than federal - headline in policies is âlocal community-based solutions are favouredâ. iâm gonna have them up top somewhere.
e - australiaâs voice. generally i bristle at these kind of party names, vague attempts at jingoism. however they are progressive in stance. banking reform, killing off the supermarket duopoly, become a republic, raising jobseeker. this is fatima paymanâs crew, so itâs pretty much the antithesis to one nation. if youâre the type to see a hijab worn in parliament and instantly assume they must be a foreign agent, then you would want to put this one low, otherwise upper mid-card works.
f - fusion | planet rescue | whistleblower protection | innovation. fkn yellow pages listing ass strategy. dork-ass tech losers. ai images all over their website. âsecular humanismâ fk offfffff. generally speaking theyâre about climate action, reduction of business influence and corruption in government. but really theyâre libertarians (âfreedom of speech!â) wearing a progressive costume. the type of people who proudly claim theyâre an ally, but then question what a domestic violence victim did to provoke their attacker. put them just above the nutjobs. in fact no, straight nutjobs.
g - keo vongvixay & taylor hernan. sidenote, the aec qualification checklist is now laughably very, very long and asks several questions about where your grandparents were born. anyway, keo and taylor here are actually connected to the socialist equity party. âthe sep candidates are alone in telling the working class the truth: that the election will resolve nothing, and that the incoming government, whichever party leads it, will deepen the bipartisan agenda of austerity and war.â so any blitzers concerned with warmongering should put this group number one. good union lads, too. proper working class solidarity and all that.
h - trumpet of patriots. i donât need that sht on my algorithm. the only statement iâll make on them is this - if you are fundamentally opposed to the equality of rights for any subset of the population, then it is reasonable to assume you would transfer those views on to any other arbitary subset on a whim. as such, you are utter utter scum. fk you. last. absolute last.
i - australian labor party. i could write literally anything here. wouldnât matter. thereâs not a single thing i could do that would change your opinion of this brand. iâm in the mood for dancing by the nolans is a great song.
j - family first. iâve always known this crew as the anti-abortion ralliers. however i thought iâd at least look up what theyâre about these days to see if that holds rules. itâs kicks off with about 1000 words on âgender!â ugh. and finishes with this: ârecognise that multiculturalism has failed and that australians, regardless of racial or ethnic origin, must rally around the shared judeo-christian values which made the nation attractive to the myriad of people of many races who now call it home.â 2nd last. fkng losers. imagine dedicating your life to this sht.
k - one nation. 3rd last. still racist as fk. strong commitment to the brand i guess.
l - australian democrats. why do people keep resurrecting this name? policies are vague statements about integrity, collaboration and ethics. no substantial stances on anything - thereâs about 100 blog posts on various matters if you want to do further reading. i would say generally left-ish views on matters, but the overall vibe is âsick of the majors.â heath and carly, the two names on the vic ballot, seem personally invested in environmental matters (heath is a horticulturalist and carly is a cattle farmer). so maybe if youâre a proper old school bob-brown-era green, then theyâre worth a look. mid-card.
m - victorian socialists. the party that old-school labor voters would actually vote for if they could get over their brand loyalty. housing for all, tax the mining corps, public ownership of utilities, action on climate change - all the good stuff. theyâve had a pr/branding makeover since last time so theyâre a little bit less rabid shouters and seem willing to play the game more. notable candidate is jordan van den lamb aka purplepingers who has been active on both social and legacy media about housing access, so is following the âdo something about itâ route. if you care about the wellbeing of anyone other than yourself, then put this crew in the low single-digits.
n - sustainable australia party - universal basic income. catchy name. the old âgreens but anti-immigrationâ crew. like all their policies are literally the same, except that quite a number of them go ââŚand the solution to this is to reduce immigration and slow population growth.â probably really into eugenics. 6th (?) last, i dunno. lower third, go with that.
o - gerald rennick people first. i was just thinking to myself âgeez there are far less gobshites than last timeâ as this website loaded. first alarm bell - âwe will lobby to enshrine freedom of speech in the constitution by holding a referendum at a federal election.â the people who hold these views are 100% of the time someone who got told off for using a racist slur in the workplace. itâs never âi had some critical views of the local councils by-laws on nature strip managementâ or sht like that, so crusading for legal protection of it always tells you who they are. i enjoyed this one too on hecs - âit is taking too long for graduates to repay their debt and universities are not being held to account for the cost of the unpaid debts.â voluntary superannuation, âall typesâ of energy generation, âstreamline the bureaucracyâ, dumb sht like that. however they are going hard on a having a public bank and insurance provider, so thereâs that. nutjobs, but not dangerous really. lower mid-card.
p - libertarian. libertarians somehow think they would all personally thrive in a societal collapse. âi am completely self madeâ yeah you taught yourself to read, write and communicate, and also foraged all of your own food from age two. good one, dipsht. playing make-believe. barely worth typing about.
q - the greens. refer to what i wrote about the alp. bacchusfox absolutely hates their no 1 candidate, which to me is the most ringing endorsement one could get.
r - citizens party. fair bit going on on their 2009-ass website. russia! china! which stupidly enough, sends the completely wrong message about their actual stances. going for the clickbait strat i guess. independent foreign policy, public banks, affordable housing. all seems economically left enough, but thereâs always a sticking point with these types that prevented them from joining another progressive party. i think in this case itâs the hard-line isolationalist stance on foreign policy. well, except for this point - âbut the sustainable way forward is to help the global south achieve real economic development through international cooperation.â pick a lane, fellas. mid-card.
s - shooters, fishers and farmers party. carry the rep as gun-toting rednecks, but are more progressive than youâd expect. they acknowledge the human impact of climate change, but donât support any mitigating initiatives that âunnecessarily restrict the activities of farmers, resources, transport, manufacturing or any other industry.â lmao. pro-immigration to boost rural populations. big on environmental sustainability, as youâd expect. if youâre typically a rural-based nationals voter, itâs actually worth giving this crew a look because the national party doesnât give a flying fk about you.
t - these three (raj saini, kirti alle, yahaswini kanakagiri) are all aligned. short version of their story is they are big advocates for south asian folks, so are (probably) seeking to achieve south asian representation in federal government. policy statements more or less line up with labor/greens. nothing stands out. personally iâm going to chuck them up high, if only to see less skeletons in suits in parliament.
ungrouped
heena sinha cheung - pretty much see as above for group t, but with added focus on advocacy and protection for victims of domestic and sexual abuse.
susantha abeysinghe - no website, but facebook page is a great âgraphic design is my passionâ gallery. tried to run for dandenong council, and is âanti-corruptionâ, so is probably still pssed off about a parking ticket or something. really wants a âinland interconnecting irrigationâ system.
viesha lewand - cash is king, world economic forum blah blah blah. still mad about pandemic restrictions. unwell and lonely.
lawrence harvey - laurence harvey (born zvi mosheh skikne) was a lithuanian-born british actor and film director. he was born to lithuanian jewish parents and emigrated to south africa at an early age. he has no connection to australian senate candidate lawrence harvey (note the difference in spelling), who appears to have no online presence at all.
cory corbett - lol at the akubra adorned photo on his front page. small business, deregulation, blah blah blah. ego trip.
k black - dummy candidate by crikey, running a series of stories on the nomination process
david van - current senator. was with the libs, but got booted for sexual assault. harasses women on instagram. think about how much of a pest you have to be for the liberal party to go âthatâs too much for usâ
nate ritter - small business, deregulation, blah blah blah. somehow improve healthcare as well as lowering tax
so there you go. get out and vote properly if youâre going to insist on shtposting in this thread.
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Casey Briggs also seems to miss the point about what the numbers mean. He also has a habit of picking out random stats that are ultimately meaningless.
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Sir this is a wendys
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