Best Simpsons Quotes

Sir? Yes! Hello sir!


You look like a man who needs help satisfying his wife!

Is there anything Hams can’t do? A wonderful, magical animal.
* may not be an exact quote

Nobody who speaks German could be a bad man.

Here are some words that rhyme with Cory. Story. Alagory. Montosory.


- megz

The whole reason why we have elected officials is so we don't have to think for ourselves.

I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman.

great thread!


Marge:work called and said if you aren't in tomorrow, don't bother coming in monday

Homer: WOOHOO 4 day weekend!

It's in Revelations people!

It's a ■■■■■■■■■■■ store. I was buying ■■■■■■■■■■■.


/End thread

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Willie - "Look at me!!  Im Milhouse, I've tucked me shirt into me underpants again!!  I got no friends so I confide in Willie!!!"


Favourite ep ever.

Bart: I’d give anything to go to that show!

Homer: I’d sell my first-born son!

Bart: Hey!

Homer: You’ll do as you’re told!



Well, animals are not like people, Mrs. Simpson. Some of them act badly because they've had a hard life, or have been mistreated. But, like people, some of them are just jerks - Stop that Mr. Simpson.


Best episode: You Only Move Twice.


Best season: Season 4. 

Best episode: You Only Move Twice.


Best season: Season 4. 

"Ever seen a man say goodbye to his shoes before?


"Yeah, once."


It's not a quote exactly, but that scene where Homer's being interviewed by the tabloid TV show and you see the clocks jumping back and forward as he speaks kills me every time I see it.


The funny thing is you NEVER see clocks when anyone is being interviewed on a current affairs show....probably because it would play out exactly like it did in the Simpsons.


Best episode: Homer Badman 

Best season: Season 6

I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there please save me Superman.

Homer the Great

Season Eight

“The politics of failure have failed. We must make them work again.”

Maude Flanders: ‘s-e-x,infront of the c-h-i-l-d-r-e-n’

Krusty: ‘sex cauldron! I thought they closed that place down?’

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"I owe everything I have to my mother's watchful eye, and swift hand. Oh..... There's Mother now.... Watching me.... What's that, Mother? Well, they have a right to be here. It's school business. I- Mother, That sailor suit doesn't fit anymore!"