Best Simpsons Quotes


And I call him gamblor, and I must save her from it’s neon claws.


A woman is more like a beer…

So IsaysYeah? You wantthatmoney? Come and find it’cause I don’tknowwhereit is, ya baloney!


You make me wanna reetchhh… plonk


Two bad neighbors.


Homer Goes To College is the best episode.

He he he… Ni.


surely you cant have a fav - there was a period where it was just gold upon gold


Ummm excuse me professor BRAINIAC. But I WORKED in a nuclear power plant. And haha… I THINK I know how a proton accelerator works.

Some of the best humour is in the subtleties. Just the very notion that you’d sing up from the back of a lecture theatre.


“I’ll be a campus hero”


How was jerk practice boy? Did they teach you how to sing to trees? And build crappy furniture out of useless wooden logs?

Couch spontaneously collapses

Ouch! Stupid poetic justice




It is very good:


The answer to the best episode is the bigger brother episode from season 4, Brother from the Same Planet. So many great lines and visual gags.

“Hey chief, there’s a fight over at the aquarium”.
“They still sell those frozen bananas?”
“Uh yeah I think so”.
“Let’s roll, boys”.

“I’m the boy’s father”.
“The drunken gambler?”
“That’s right, and who might you be?”

The whole episode is brilliant.


Whacking Day

“Children, we’ve just been tipped off that Superintendent Chalmers is planning a surprise inspection. So, let’s clean up this pigsty. On another topic, the following students have won mountain bikes. Bart Simpson, Jimbo Jones Nelson Muntz”.
“I want you to keep filling your shirt with crud till I get back.”
“Y-Yes, sir.”
"You may pick your bikes up in utility basement “B. " Fools. - Oops. Still on.”
“Hey, what do you think he meant by that “fools” remark? Aw, who cares? Time to get me a mountain bike.”

“Would the world judge me harshly if I threw away the key?”
“No, but the P. T. A. would tear you a new (arse).”

  • What’s a battle?
  • Let’s go.
  • Did that boy say, “What’s a battle?”
  • He said, “What’s that rattle?”…About the heating duct.
  • Hmm. It sounded like battle.
  • I’ve had a cold, so, uh
  • Oh, so you would hear “R’s” as “B’s?”
  • Yes.
  • I understand.

I am evil Homer.

  • Hi-yah! Dad! Everyone likes Whacking Day, but I hate it. - Is there something wrong with me?
  • Yes, honey.

Just squeeze your rage into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time. Like that day I hit the referee with a whiskey bottle. - Remember that?
When Daddy hit the referee?

The enemy surrounded the fort and said that if the captain was sent out - the rest would be spared. - What did they do? - They sent him out. - Was he killed? And how. That’s why they call it Fort Sensible.

Lisa, maybe if I’m part of that mob, I can help steer it in wise directions. Now, where’s my giant foam cowboy hat and air horn?

I’ve hidden a snake somewhere in the store. The first one to whack it, gets a free Squishy. Hey! Hey! I should’ve put more thought into my promotion.

"And the Lord said, "Whack ye all the serpents which crawl on their bellies and thy town shall be a beacon unto others. " So you see, Lisa, even God himself endorses Whacking Day.
Let me see that.
Mmm, no.

Give us hell, Quimby!

What if they’re dead, sir?
Then we ride these bikes to Mexico and freedom, Willie! Freedom!
I’ll turn you in at the first tollbooth.



I think for me the ‘PTA Disbands’ is pretty up there - but I do remember as a kid almost throwing up from laughter at Cape Feare. Particularly the rake scenes…


Oh , they have the internet on computers now




Oh when the saints…
Go over there…
Oh when the saints go over there…