Bizarre Events Thread

lol

Every nationality, every culture, recognises the inherent humour in sexuality. It’s brilliant.

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Didn’t have that at my primary school.

I just cannot get the picture of a nun doing a pole dance out of my mind for some reason.

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Try closing the laptop.

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Or softening the pole and ending the nun’s lap dance?

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You are just making it worse

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Man hospitalised after stuffing 15 hard-boiled eggs up his bottom

Daily Mail

By: Sara Malm

A Dutch man had to be rushed to hospital after taking chemsex drug GHB and stuffing 15 hard-boiled eggs up his rec*tum.

The 29-year-old had taken the ‘date rape’ drug along with his partner, but ended up needing emergency surgery after their ovum adventure.

The 15 hard-boiled eggs caused a tear in his intestinal wall, leaving him in excruciating pain, the Daily Mail reports.

The man told doctors they had boiled 15 eggs, and when the eggs were ready, they were peeled and inserted in his an*us, the Dutch Magazine for Healthcare reports.

Later that evening, the man began feeling stomach pains and went to his local hospital.

One of the doctors said: 'Upon arrival the patient had tachycardia [high heart rate] and tachypnoea [rapid breathing].

‘Physical examinations showed abdominal guarding over the entire stomach.’

The doctors suspected abdominal sepsis and performed a CT scan, which showed a perforation of the pelvic colon and giant amounts of air and fluids in his abdominal cavity.

The doctor said: ‘This is why we deemed an emergency laparotomy necessary.’

The laparotomy, a surgical procedure involving a large incision through the abdominal wall to gain access into the abdominal cavity, was performed successfully.

The doctor said: ‘The eggs were removed as well as we could and the abdominal cavity was thoroughly rinsed.’

The eggs caused a giant rapture of the gastrointestinal wall, which was sewn up by the doctors.

Luckily, the bizarre drug-fuelled adventure ended well for the patient.

The doctor said: 'After the operation, the patient was monitored in intensive care for a short time.

‘After several days he could leave the hospital in a clinically good condition.’

Gamma hydroxybutyrate - GHB - is commonly used as a date rape drug or as a recreational chemsex drug alongside crystal methamphetamine and mephedrone.

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I prefer Jim Jefferies’ egg story.

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Another life lesson learned.

Stuffing a pile of hard boiled eggs up your ■■■■ is a stupid thing to do.

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You prefer poached ones to be rammed up your ■■■■■■?

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Word sounds like wrecked’em!

yep - he ova did it

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His night certainly went off the boil.

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I bet his mate was egging him on

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Strange way to play chicken!

Scrambled

If I had some eggs I could have bacon and eggs if I had some bacon.

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Wonder who came first?

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That’s an ordeal he won’t get over easy.

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Now there’s a challenge for Cool Hand Luke.

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A mere shell of the man he was.

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