Bullshit Your Kids Believed


#1

When my daughter was in kindergarten, we were looking at my old school photos and she asked why they were all in shades of grey.

I told her the whole world was black and white in those days because colour hadn’t been invented yet and had her believing that for quite a while.


#2

We had an old palm tree in our yard that was mostly rotten through the base. One day I said to my then 5yo son I didn’t like the tree anymore and was going to push it over. So I did.
He thought I had superman strength and kept asking me to push over trees for the next 6 months or so.


#3

TV and movie sets were sometimes weird colours in the old days: e.g. light green looked whiter than white and dark blue looked blacker than black.


#5

So many. I was always making up outrageous stories for my kids. Still do, actually, lol.

Eg- There’s an A-frame designed church at the corner of blackburn Rd and Burwood highway. I told the kids that 20 years before they were born there was an earthquake that opened up a hole in the ground and the church fell into it. As a result, all you can see is the roof. But you can still enter the now underground church itself and when you look out the windows you can see fossils in the soil and rocks.

They’re all slightly stunned that it’s not true but they believed it for years.


#6

I went to school with a girl who in year 9 legitimately thought everything pre-coloured TV/movies was all black and white.

LEGITIMATELY.

She was very attractive.


#7

There’s a couple of topics that I will delete and you’ll get banned if you persist with them. Keep in mind who potentially reads this forum .


#8

The one I have going at the moment is the whole ability to pull my thumb off and put it back on. My kids think I’m magic. It’s awesome.


#9

I told my kids that Essendon were once the envy of the competition and each week we turned up expecting to win.

But they didn’t believe it.


#10

My youngest daughter well in to her 20’s, really believed that people could ‘self-combust’.

She actually thought that Spinal Tap was a real doco, not a spoof doco, when she watched it years ago.


#11

I’ve got a better trick than that.


#12

For many years my kids believed that when the ice cream van was playing music it meant it had run out of ice cream.


#13

I’m loving all of these. Mex pushing over trees clearly the clubhouse leader at this stage.


#14

Drove around for hours with my kids once, trying to get to the bottom of a rainbow.
Also - that palm tree in Ardoch St - not far from Windy Hill - I used to tell them it was the tallest tree in the world. They still talk about it hahaha
There was an old rusted truck on the side of the hill in Niddrie that you can see from the Tulla - just under the primary school. Told the boys it was called ‘Herbie’ and was an old racing truck. Has been removed now.


#15

Gold. That’s the church across from the old Kmart.


#16

That the Great Wall was built to keep the rabbits out.


#17

For a long time when I was a young’un I thought there were these animals called bandits running round causing havoc, and some had arms and some didn’t.

The source of this belief was Crimestoppers ads talking about armed bandits holding up servos.


#18

I told the truth once and gasted the flabber of a teenager re: plant propagation.

WHY HAS NO ONE EVER TOLD ME ABOUT THIS? she demanded. HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN HAPPENING?

“Oh, I dunno, maybe four thousand years?”

WHAT?!?!?!?!?

Was hilarious.


#19

Don’t be silly. How could they hold up something without arms?


#20

THEN WHY NOT JUST SAY “BANDIT”? WHY HAVE THE QUALIFIER. Jesus.


#21

Clearly armed bandits are more dangerous than unarmed so far as service stations go.