Anyone whose appearance was tired and
hungover -
Had eyes like Shell road maps.
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We called them rat coffins in high school.
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“go off like a frog in a sock”
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Busy as a one-armed piano player with an itchy bum.
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He’d be in a sh#t sandwich, only he doesn’t like bread.
Older than dirt
Older than God’s dog
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You beat me? Son, you couldn’t beat time on a bass drum.
Blind as a welder’s dog.
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You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.
Another one for the ladies along the same line was;
She;s a pirate;s delight.
Got a sunken chest.
Students at the first school l taught at, had a great one for any boy who was anti social. They called him a Scottie Neville. ('s got no friends, and never will).
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My greek mates dad used to say that, makes no sense to me though.
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Was also the name of an REO Speedwagon album
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Have not heard of this one
Could it have come from WW1 , with Australian troops there, perhaps the able Lebanese had been drafted into a colonial army.
There is an Australian historian who traces Australian sayings from their ancestral origins in the then British Isles and where they were in various wars, some coming here from British colonies
Your elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top.
Definitely. The last few weeks I have been doing the anti bike tour of my area which includes all unmarked lanes and path, piers, jetties and short cuts. No actual roads if possible. I’ve been down every shitcarters lane within 5kms so it’s a topic quite dear to me 
You can’t put brains in monuments and you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.
If you had half a brain you’d be dangerous, if you had the other half it’d be lonely.
Also about less well endowed ladies, Carpenters dream, flat as a board.
Busier than a one armed wallpaper hanger.
Dumb as a sack full of hammers.
When God gave out brains, you thought he said pain and skipped the queue.
Talk under water with a mouth full of marbles.
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Talk the leg off a table.
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savin’ that for ron
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ya making me glass eye cry
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