Major Payne?
Few kangaroos short in the top paddock
Love that movie 
One of the very best.
You remind me of the doughboy…
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Me taking my son for driving lessons.
Turn left.
You mean right.
Yeah, my other left.
You’re such a disappointment.
Heh. Good ol’ Dad.
But they all say that, right guys?
Guys?
I know someone who has always been known Ted.
Turns out that’s not his real name.
On his 21st birthday his dad gives a speech and let’s everyone know his real name and that Ted, is short for Sh1thead.
Dads are the best!
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I carnt pull a rabbit outta my hat but can pull a hare outta my ar$3 .
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“Gawd Blimey Teddy”
He would always finish any threat with “And I dont mean maybe” …which my brothers and I would look at each other and whisper “Maybe” under our breath and laugh.
Whenever he was working in the shed and I was poking my head in to take a look he would always say “GET OUT OF MY LIGHT, YOU’RE IN MY LIGHT”
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I’d cringe now if I could recall my old dad saying that. 3 kids and parents in one bedroom back in the 60s. Used to hear my mum giggling a fair bit though.
Full as a ■■■■-carter’s hat.
Ugly as a hat full of spiders.
Isn’t it “Flat as a ■■■■-carters hat”?
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More tea vicar?
Everytime he farted.
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■■■■ me dead and bury me pregnant
Well cut my legs off and call me shorty
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I’m fairly sure he said “full”. I assumed it was due to spillage.
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That warms my cockles mate. I still use it!
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No…it’s flat as a ■■■■-carter’s hat, because of the hat they’d wear so they could balance the night pan (full of excrement) on their scones.
I generally heard it used to describe a lady poorly endowed in the bust department.
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This one makes me lol, and I have no idea why.
What’s the context?
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As useless as a one-legged man in an ar se-kicking contest.
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Working as hard as a one-armed brick layer in Beirut.
Guessing because it was war-torn?
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