Any other cat owners notice that their cat loves, and I mean LOVES to put it’s arseh*le right in your face? Not exactly pleasant, is it? My cat does it all the time, the cheeky little bastard! I’m bloody sick of it!
Anyway, one day he was sitting on the end of my bed and I said, ‘ya know what? I provide you with water, food, shelter and affection. And what do I get for my troubles? Your date inches from my nose! Bugger this, you furry little brat, you’re about to get a dose of your own medicine!’
I dropped my strides, bent over, spread 'em as far and as wide as I could and gave him the closest and fullest of moons.
I looked back and shouted, ‘See that? See that?! Whaddya think of that, huh? Huh?!’
I gotta be honest with yas; it felt good. I don’t know why. I doubt he even knew what was going on but I was most pleased with how things were transpiring.
Until I noticed my curtains were wide open…
… and my 80 year old neighbour was walking past.
Sometimes a fleeting moment of eye contact can feel like a lifetime!
The look on my cat’s face was one of indifference. My dear elderly neighbour looked less than impressed.
I shouted to her, ‘Mavis wait! Mavis!’ but she stormed off. I’m guessing she didn’t have her hearing aide in.
Did you hear about the latest development in stem cell research? They’ve started using said cells to artificially grow vocal chords for transplants and such. The early tests have gone well apparently; the results speak for themselves.