We should go back to having deed-names, like the vikings used to give out. Your name is something awarded to you by the skalds as you earn it through your deeds and renown.
So we’d have @theDJR , Banhammer-Wielder, Badger-Disciple. And @Alan_Noonan_10 the Venerable, Superhero-Film-Shunner, Of the Port of the Faeries.
So speak I, @Humble_Minion the Tired, Bat-Friend and Broccoli-Eater.
I don’t get anything for being Australian Boomerang Champion?
Harsh.
Tell it to the skalds, I don’t make the rules. You’ve gotta do your own marketing.
Small potatoes
Over in the DJ King Thread, I have my own country named after me:
“The Glorious People’s Republic of North Swoodley”
Dyson Turner Heppell sounds like an ambulance chasing law firm. Maybe they can run the class action against Essendon Football Club for the pain and suffering they have caused us members over the last 20 years.
Saga chat tomorrow night heads up
Didn’t take long.
Has he said anything controversial about the saga that the media will turn into a head line yet
■■■■■■■ flogs the media because I guarantee that’s what will happen.
Best if Heppell says nothing media are waiting like a pack of wolves for some head lines
I’m sure the producers of the show who probably shelled out 100k or 2 on him would be thrilled if he says nothing 
Fark the show producers I say 
There is a >95% chance that the only stuff which gets shown is to build whatever character of Dyson the producers want him to be
So odds are it’ll be some “yeah it was a really tough time, no doubt” and talk about how he managed it. It won’t be an issue.
Looks like he addresses the ‘saga’ on tonight’s episode if you have no paint to watch dry or live in an apartment so have no grass to watch grow
100%
He & his are on the way to a massive breach of trust within a coverup culture that will result in pretty much everyone involved losing their pants… going on recent history that’s the inevitable future of the now hyphenated Dyson family. It’s just a matter of time.
Hyphenation case study -
Samuel Lowell Price married his firm with Waterhouse (Price - Waterhouse) who then married Coopers & Lybrand (Price - Waterhouse - Coopers) who then Rebranded to PWC. Then they did typical hyphenated firm / family stuff (massive breach of trust playing two sides of a game & tried to cover it up). Then most of the family / partners lost their pants*.
* figuratively lost their pants - financially … obviously Luke Sayers of ex-farkcarlton presidency literally lost his pants in his public photographic tweet to a lady who was not his wife.
So… FarkCarlton?
Dyson Turner-Heppell reveals lasting toll of Essendon’s supplement scandal
Former Bombers captain Dyson Turner-Heppell has shared how his career and life changed during the club’s supplements saga, saying he was still adamant the players did nothing wrong.
Dyson Turner-Heppell has opened up about how his career and life changed during the Essendon supplements saga, saying it dragged on for four years and “not one positive drug test came back”.
The former Bombers captain had to deal with the scandal in only his second season and said he still adamant there was no wrongdoing.
“At the footy club we went through an entire supplemets saga, drugs scandal, that kicked off early in my career around performance enhancing drugs which was full on,’’ Turner-Heppell says on I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! airing on Tuesday night.
“In 2012 we started like a supplements regime at the club where you’d go home with your vitamins, minerals, all your tablets. And within that we were also getting injections. The world doping agency got involved and we were rigorously tested, we were under constant scrutiny and in the end not one positive drug test came back.”
Turner-Heppell went on to captain the Bombers before retiring in 2024. Picture: Josh Chadwick
Turner-Heppell played 253 games and retired at the end of 2024.
He said his life changed markedly around that time before he went on to captain the club from 2017-2022, saying the 12 month suspension each player copped after being found guilty ended some careers.
“Absolutely not (did we do wrong),” he said.
“They gave us the rundown on everything we were taking and me just being curious about it and being young, not at any point was there a hint of being something suss or wrong.
“Full trust in that. Absolutely, but names have never been cleared. It’s impacted the club for a long long time. I took over the captaincy of the club when I got back, 2017, that year though was just trying to get in a space again of loving footy because footy had had a cloud over it for so long again, it was like ‘let’s just the get the love and fun and joy back into it all.
Turner-Heppell is taking part in the 2026 season of I’m A Celebrity … Get Me Out Of Here on Channel 10. Picture: Channel 10/Supplied
“Coming out the back end it gave me a hell of a lot of resilience ended up just being in a space of real gratitude knowing how quickly it can be stripped away.”
Campmate Gary Sweet said it was shocking.
“The penalites were extremely harsh and I can’t help but feel he’s been unfairly tarnished because it never goes away,’’ he said.
Bombers fan Matt Zukowski said he felt for the whole club.
He is one of the new crop of campmates on season 12 of the show which kicked off on Sunday night to the largest audience since 2022 on Network 10.
Others in the jungle include Mia Fevola, Matt Zukowski, Rachel Hunter and Luke Bateman.
Onya Dys
Reinforces what we all know. They were innocent victims of a WADA witch hunt
Sorry but what’s this Turner Heppell thing? I thought they were quoting another camp mate at first.
When couples marry, some opt to take their partners last name too as a hyphenated last name. Its new thing.
It’s been a “thing” since the mid 1800s so not really new.
Poor bloke has 3 last names now 
.