Tech House DJ Plays Same Hi Hat & Kick Drum Sample For Five Hours – Drugged Crowd None the Wiser
London based tech house DJ, Robert Jonathan Swift, made his international debut last week when he was invited to play club Trouw in Amsterdam.
“It was a huge gig for me at this point in my career,†Robert told Wunderground. “Unfortunately when I arrived at the club for my slot I realized I had accidentally brought along a blank USB stick. I began to panic until I looked out into the crowd and noticed the eyes closed, gentle swaying being exhibited by the crowd and figured everyone was likely on some sort of bath salts and/or completely blitzed on ketamine so I figured I could shoot from the hip and wing it.â€
Robert was able to borrow his mate‘s laptop and download a generic tech house loop moments before he had to begin playing. “The plan originally was to download a few more tunes somehow, but after playing with the effects a bit and using the faders slightly the crowd was actually giving me a great response so I decided to just keep on with it and I actually had them eating out of my palm in no time,†Robert explained.
“Three hours into the set, I feigned going to the toilet whilst I loaded some indecipherable vocals onto the sample decks,†Robert informed us, “that really sent them over the top, and soon enough it was complete bedlam in the main room.â€
When asked about the set, stoned club attendees gave Robert shockingly favorable reviews despite the fact that he played the same track looped for five hours straight.
“Sick innit?†one clubber exclaimed when asked about the night. “The technicality of the mixing was such that I hardly noticed a transition for the whole of the set.â€
“Brilliant,†flatly stated another partier, “rarely do you see a DJ put in that much variety and thought from the warm up to peak time and come down. A masterclass in both technical ability and musical knowledge. So refreshing to see a DJ not simply press play but take the crowd on a journey start to finish.â€
Wait, the reporter was there and it just happened to be when the DJ played the same track for 5 hours?
Dunno. Certainly doesn't say he interviewed either the DJ or the punters 'live'.
review that, Diggers!
Um, it's a parody, guys.
When they name the DJ after noted satirical author Jonathan Swift, it might be a bit of a clue....
Um, it's a parody, guys.
When they name the DJ after noted satirical author Jonathan Swift, it might be a bit of a clue....
<span style="color:#000000;">About Robert</span>Robert Rob "works" at an investment bank whilst browsing Reddit and fantasizing about clubbing holidays.
Maybe this is one of his fantasies.
i thought this was going to be about regurgitator.
While I'm banning shots, anyone who plays this crap is going straight up against the wall, come the revolution. F**king crap!
Old person doesn't like/understand current music shock.
Anybody who "understands", or claims to understand, that tripe needs to lay off the recreational hallucinogens....pronto!
You young whipper-snapper.
Anybody who "understands", or claims to understand, that tripe needs to lay off the recreational hallucinogens....pronto!
You young whipper-snapper.
Ha! I'm as young as you are tolerant!
I won't say I understand this sort of music, but I do get a groove that takes a few minutes to really come into its own.
And I do get dropping the heavy bass into that groove after a while.
It's not my music, but...I also understand that asking kids to appreciate my music would be like asking me to appreciate 'How Much Is That Doggie In The Window.'
Can we have a thread about this? I want to know what it'll entail...While I'm banning shots, anyone who plays this crap is going straight up against the wall, come the revolution. F**king crap!
I do have regular discussions with people on the subject.Can we have a thread about this? I want to know what it'll entail...While I'm banning shots, anyone who plays this crap is going straight up against the wall, come the revolution. F**king crap!
We'll need bricklayers to build more walls.
Dunno what is funnier: the satirical article (I giggled and I’m a tech house DJ), that someone thought it was serious, or Noonan’s completely predictable reaction.
Tell me, Noons: aside from sport and ■■■■, have you liked anything made since the 80’s?
Dunno what is funnier: the satirical article (I giggled and I'm a tech house DJ), that someone thought it was serious, or Noonan's completely predictable reaction.
Tell me, Noons: aside from sport and ■■■■, have you liked anything made since the 80's?
1880's?
Anybody who "understands", or claims to understand, that tripe needs to lay off the recreational hallucinogens....pronto!
You young whipper-snapper.
Perhaps its one of those 'you had/have to be there' with this type of music and not have understand it.
While I'm banning shots, anyone who plays this crap is going straight up against the wall, come the revolution. F**king crap!
You're just ■■■■■■ off because the Venga Bus is running about 15 years late.
It's embarassing but I thought it was real and it was the happiest I've been in years
It's embarassing but I thought it was real and it was the happiest I've been in years
Don't worry mate, dance music will make its way over there in about 15 or so years, just like everything else does. Then you'll understand.
It's embarassing but I thought it was real and it was the happiest I've been in years
Don't worry mate, dance music will make its way over there in about 15 or so years, just like everything else does. Then you'll understand.
I have been clubbing for 2 yrs and I like to brag that I still have not cared one iota about one single person that's been playing anywhere I've been.
"Haven't you heard of THESE GUYS THOUGH!? They're so orgasmic it's so awesome!!"
Ummm yeah cheers how much are the beers at this joint...