A mate of mine woke up with a very itchy nether region the other morning after some relations with a very wealthy married woman.
On closer inspection he found he had a rash of silver bumps that looked like a mix of mini horse stirrups and the letter H.
Went to the doc and asked him what do you think of this?
Doc replies “ looks like a scorching case of Hermes”
I asked my mate what he would do if we were told the world only had 3 minutes left.
He told me he would shag everything that moved.
He asked me what I would do.
I said I’d stand still and not move a muscle.
I’d probably doubt the intelligence of any race that only used flat head screws.
And don’t get me started on Allen keys.
Living in Canada now, and got to say Im a convert.
I hope you ain’t gotta put anything together late on Christmas Eve 
Why would I be assembling anything on Christmas Eve?
But if I was, and it required an Allen key….
I’d do it, but complain a lot.
Copious quantities of eggnog with lashings of brandy, and you’ll breeze through any allen key phobia.
You’ll likely get on a roll and disassemble the car.
Because thats when everything gets put together. Kids trampolines, playsets, bikes, doll houses.
Neighbours round with a six pack and their own Allen key. “We put one of these together last year r, piece of p iss” Couple of hours later still trying and now it’s " They must have put spare parts in for you, there’s a lot left over, pass us another stubbie"
You can probably buy them at Bunnings but I just get a grinder cut the Allan key and chuck it in the drill, problem solved.
The young’n just turned 18, so no need for those things this year.
I do remember assembling a few trampolines on Christmas Day after lunch, which is a great time to get forced labour from (extended) family.
Have you seen the ‘real’ lightsabers being built by Hacksmith? The latest ones create a plasma stream burning at 2500 degrees C, and they’re trying to built them to run from a lightsaber handle instead of a backpack, which requires liquid oxygen, a clean room and some rocket science to prevent a life threatening explosion. They’re awesome, but also pretty terrifying.
There are 2 “manly” tools that I don’t mind admitting still terrify me. One is a chainsaw, because if they do kick back while using them, the injuries can be horrific. The other is an angle grinder. When those disks explode, they don’t stop in a hurry.
I’ll stick to using a regular Allen key and cursing a few times.
Thinking about it… the hilarious gift for a husband would be the Allan key drill bit set to put all the presents together 
I saw me mate coming down the road, stark naked with a woman on his back. I asked him what he was up to. " I’m going to a fancy dress party as a tortoise" he said.
“Who’s that on your back though?”
" Oh that’s Michelle" he replied.
Mrsharvs & I built a trampoline for the kids years ago on Xmas eve night after a few frothies
All good until we realised that the springs we’d torn our hands apart on for the past 2 hours we’re one spring off IE not exactly balanced
We decided to make the moving of trampoline springs a Xmas day surprise for the rest of the family