Probably already been posted.
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Interviewer: Are there any accomplishments from your last job that you’re particularly proud of?
Me: I’m responsible for ten new rules in their employee handbook.
Interviewer: So you wrote them?
Me: That’s not what I said.
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An Irish sheep farmer goes to his sheep dog in the morning and says good morning Sam. Sam responds with a grunt. Sam today I want you to go to the far paddock and round up the sheep. Sam responds with a gruff OK. After about an hour Sam returns from the paddock and the farmer says to him, did you round up the sheep. Sam responds witha gruff yes. The Irish farmer says, Sam how many were there. Sam responds with 40. The Irish farmer says Sam that is odd, yesterday there were only 38. Sam responds with, you told me to round them up.
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Mum jokes
What’s the difference between a rooster and your mum?
A rooster says cockle-doodle-do
Your mum says any-cockle-do
