The good old days. That’s when I was sleeping with my brother and hadn’t even heard of Tasmania.
Otherwise you would have been sleeping with your sister?
You haven’t seen my sister.
My toddler is learning Spanish but still can’t say please.
It’s pourfavour if you ask me.
A little Celtic humour..
Paddy was hunting when a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over & discharged, shooting him in the genitals.
Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor.
“Well, Paddy, I have some good news & some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK.
The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, & we were able to remove all of the buckshot.”
“What’s the bad news?” asked Paddy?
“The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your ‘Old Fella’ which left quite a few holes in it. I’m going to have to refer you to my sister.”
“Well, I guess that isn’t too bad,” Paddy replied.
“Is your sister a plastic surgeon?” asked Paddy.
“Not exactly answered the doctor…
“She’s a flute player in the Boston Symphony Orchestra.
She’s going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don’t wee in your eye.
Here’s one from the days of communist Russia. It’s in a book called The Wizard of the Kremlin, which is well worth a read,
President Krushchev visited a farm where prize pigs were bred. Pravda reporters photographed him standing smiling in front of a bunch of prize pigs. Back in the office the reporters were discussing how to caption the photo. “Comrade Krushchev with prize pigs?” “Prize pigs with Comrade Krushchev?” They couldn’t agree.
Eventually the editor settled it.
“Comrade Krushchev, third from right.”
This could be easily updated to Fox News and Trump.
5 Sydney Swan players walk into a bar………………
Sorry, I’ll get me coat
Probably not the first time this has been posted, but worth another go-around.
I must admit I enjoy it when the horoscopes are published around Cups season. I just didn’t realise that 12 horses win each cup.
