Season 2020 - Fark Carlton


Coach: David Teague

2019 –

Points For – 15th
Points Against – 15th

Top 5 Best and Fairest

  1. Patrick Cripps
  2. Ed Curnow
  3. Lachie Plowman
  4. Sam Walsh
  5. Levi Casboult

2019 Rising Star Noms

Sam Walsh (Round 4)

Ins – Brodie Kemp, Sam Philp, Sam Ramsay, Jack Martin, Josh Honey, Fraser Phillips, Eddie Betts, Jack Newnes, Marc Pittonet

Outs – Tom Bugg, Josh Deluca, Alex Fasolo, Jarrod Garlett, Pat Kerr, Kym Lebois, Matthew Lobbe, Andrew Phillips, Jarrod Pickett, Angus Schumacher, Dale Thomas

My Prediction

Carlton seem to be the tip of the year as the big improver, this though seems an annual event as if they are about to turn some mythical corner and wind back the clock to achieve relevance. This year does feel different with the common sense appointment of Teague who pointed the list in the right direction towards the end of last season and had them finish the year with their best period of form for a long time.

The backline is built around Weitering and Jones as the key backs with Plowman and Marchbank able to come in and support. I felt like Jones got found out last year and struggled against more mobile key forwards. Weitering has been destroyed by Bolton and it will be interesting to see if he can get back on track. They will be praying for an injury free Docherty but after two knees in two years, it will take him time. Newman was a handy pick up last year and Simpson will keep going even if he needs a Zimmer frame.

The midfield is a one man wrecking machine. They can talk about depth but the majority of their wins last year happened when Cripps put the team on his shoulders and carried them. They need him to keep doing that. Walsh is a good player and Setterfield started to show why he was rated highly. Murphy will keep doing what Murphy does (high skilled squibbing) and Ed Curnow is a decent food soldier. It wouldn’t surprise to see Charlie Curnow play a few more midfield minutes this year to try and relieve some of the workload on Cripps.

The forward line is high on potential. McKay looks a gun with great skills, Curnow threatens to rip games apart but still lacks consistency and at times, work rate. They spent heavily on McGovern who has not repaid the faith at this job and needs a big preseason. Small forwards are still questionable with bringing in Betts who looked shot last year in Adelaide. Petrevski-Seton is ready to move up the field more but they may still require him closer to goal.

The rucking looks good when Kreuzer is fit, but when is he ever fit for long periods. I think the recruitment of Pittonet was good and he is an able backup. Will be interesting to see how he goes as first ruck for long periods. Teague looks a solid coach and did good things last year. The word from places he was assistant seems to be that he was ready for the step. That being said, Carlton didn’t feel he was ready until their hand was pushed by players and fans. We will find out more as this year rolls on.

There still looks to be a significant gap between the quality of the players on their list. They have a good top tier and Cripps may end up the best player in the competition if he isn’t already but they are lack depth and I think their key position players still look fragile. All that being said, they shouldn’t be as low on the ladder as they were and I think they will look like a chance to play finals football for a lot of the year before just missing out. I think they will finish in the 10-12 range.




P.S. Fark Carlton.



■■■■ off and Die.

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Seriously though, they might finish above us

I’ve also never understood the ‘fold’ thing.

Superman needs Lex Luthor.
Batman would be nothing without the Joker.
Marvel superheroes would be nothing without ‘insert name of random villain here’ (probably not the best example).

I don’t want them to fold, I want them to be sh/t forever


Youre giving this piece of sh*t club too much credit. id just rather they fold. weve got plenty of other clubs to hate.

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Copypasta. Year in, year out, I wish them ill. Specific and unpleasant ills.


Exactly. Folding is for irrelevant clubs like North.


Fark Carlton

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The Fark Carlton moniker loses its potency and meaning when we aren’t:
a. farking them over ruthlessly and consistently ourselves
b. not farking over other sides ruthlessly and consistently ourselves

Essendon success trumps Fark Carlton failures


They can only get better and unfortunately there are signs they will. Cripps is a game winner and I agree with Kruezer - can’t stay on the park long enough. Reminds me a ruckman at Essendon. As long as they finish below us on the ladder and we beat them easily each time I’ll be happy.

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This may be the year they finally get their ■■■■ together. i really REALLY hope it isn’t.

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Qtr of a Century since their last Flag…wow

Yes, yes…I’m well aware how long it’s been for us !

Fark Carlton Best 22

B: Newman Weitering Marchbank
Hb: Docherty Plowman Simpson
C: Martin Murphy Dow
HF: McGovern C Curnow Petrevski-Seton
F: Betts McKay Fisher
R: Kreuzer Cripps© Walsh
Int: Curnow, Philp Setterfield, O’Brien

Emg Gibbons, Casboult, Jones

How did Casboult finish top 5 in the B&F?

There biggest out is SOS. It means they may actually being in a semi component list manager who looks beyond first round picks and GWS reject.

On the player front how Charlie Curnow goes will be interesting to watch. I wonder if his kneecap can hold together. Injuring it getting out of the shower isn’t a great start.

Fark Carlton

And he reinjured it playing basketball.

Casboult will most likely take Curnows spot in round 1.

I was half expecting him to go into the jungle.
Isn’t that where irrelevant has-beens go to revive their career?


They are looking good this year, like their coaching changes and recruitment.

Will be on the up for mine.

Expect them to finish 17th in 2020, then merge with North in 2021.



People thought I was joking when I called Ed “the good Curnow”.

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