Great work, you can definitely extend the olive branch with an ex. You don't have to love someone to care about them.
I have an ex who lost her mum a couple of years ago to cancer, I still ask about her. But I still maintain that you cannot be friends with an ex (I mean a real friendship)
As for the current girlfriend, she is just jealous - sees this move as a way you can be closer to your ex. She just needs to be comfortable with your relationship. I would not start suggesting double dates though and be mindful of future social situations where your ex will now be and your current gf.
This is not entirely true. It’s not common that things work out that way, but given the right circumstances, and the right personalities, it can. I have a couple of friends who split up a few years ago after seven years together, and they’re now very good friends (and not at all in an unhealthy way).
I split up with my girlfriend of four years a few weeks ago. It was fairly amicable, and I think we’d both like to remain friends, but for that to actually work it’s going to take a fair bit of time, and some care to create/keep some distance between us (going to be a bit of a challenge as we have a number of close mutual friends). It might not work, but we’ll see.
agree with Kozza. If the breakup was painful then maybe not but one of my best mates is an ex. She’s now also besties with my wife. Her current partner has issues with the friendship though.
Great work, you can definitely extend the olive branch with an ex. You don't have to love someone to care about them.
I have an ex who lost her mum a couple of years ago to cancer, I still ask about her. But I still maintain that you cannot be friends with an ex (I mean a real friendship)
As for the current girlfriend, she is just jealous - sees this move as a way you can be closer to your ex. She just needs to be comfortable with your relationship. I would not start suggesting double dates though and be mindful of future social situations where your ex will now be and your current gf.
This is not entirely true. It’s not common that things work out that way, but given the right circumstances, and the right personalities, it can. I have a couple of friends who split up a few years ago after seven years together, and they’re now very good friends (and not at all in an unhealthy way).
I split up with my girlfriend of four years a few weeks ago. It was fairly amicable, and I think we’d both like to remain friends, but for that to actually work it’s going to take a fair bit of time, and some care to create/keep some distance between us (going to be a bit of a challenge as we have a number of close mutual friends). It might not work, but we’ll see.
agree with Kozza. If the breakup was painful then maybe not but one of my best mates is an ex. She’s now also besties with my wife. Her current partner has issues with the friendship though.
Absolutely agree with you guys. I am friends with every ex I have had, bar two, over the last 35 years.
I wouldnt do it.
I can see why you would do it. you had an opportunity to make two people in your life who weren’t that happy, happy again.
I can see why your girlfriend is concerned…
I would think it was a bit weird if my wife was setting up dates for her ex.
I dont think they would be angry with you if the relationship ended. And you would have to be a good judge of character to set it up in the first place…
But yeh mixing work/life relationships…can be a hard balance and can see why your friends are also concerned.
Do you love your job? cause if any issues arise you can just leave.
Great work, you can definitely extend the olive branch with an ex. You don't have to love someone to care about them.
I have an ex who lost her mum a couple of years ago to cancer, I still ask about her. But I still maintain that you cannot be friends with an ex (I mean a real friendship)
As for the current girlfriend, she is just jealous - sees this move as a way you can be closer to your ex. She just needs to be comfortable with your relationship. I would not start suggesting double dates though and be mindful of future social situations where your ex will now be and your current gf.
This is not entirely true. It’s not common that things work out that way, but given the right circumstances, and the right personalities, it can. I have a couple of friends who split up a few years ago after seven years together, and they’re now very good friends (and not at all in an unhealthy way).
I split up with my girlfriend of four years a few weeks ago. It was fairly amicable, and I think we’d both like to remain friends, but for that to actually work it’s going to take a fair bit of time, and some care to create/keep some distance between us (going to be a bit of a challenge as we have a number of close mutual friends). It might not work, but we’ll see.
agree with Kozza. If the breakup was painful then maybe not but one of my best mates is an ex. She’s now also besties with my wife. Her current partner has issues with the friendship though.
Absolutely agree with you guys. I am friends with every ex I have had, bar two, over the last 35 years.
But then maybe I’m just a superb bloke …
Well Boot, obviously I am a real c ** t, as every former GF and Wife of mine do not like me at all, in fact, they would all even talk to each other to be at my funeral.
I always blamed them but current Wife, who is a gem but always potentially an ex, pointed out the common thread.
I would actually applaud setting up my ex-s, but it would be with the IS boyz or that other crowd in Nigeria. Guess they are probably right about me.
Girlfriend dumped me. Said I should have done more to support my employer and that me saying I’ve done enough is just me trying to hide from my failures. The “failure” in question was Monday morning when he came into work and couldn’t look me in the eye after their first date Friday night (and it turns out second and third dates Saturday and Sunday). I had approached him, asked how he was and said he shouldn’t avoid me, I was completely fine with whatever went on and he didn’t have to feel weird. He had replied with “we’re not having that conversation” so I thought “that’s fine, I’ll give him some space”. The girlfriend thought I should have pushed harder telling him I was OK with it and not to feel awkward but I think I’d done enough.
The following day he approached me and apologised and told me how happy he was and how thankful he was. My girlfriend (at the time) when I told her this didn’t believe me that had happened and I was just saying it to try and save face.
This was the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met, inside and out. Dropdead gorgeous and has done so much to make me a better person. Just this one issue. She thinks I run from my problems when she doesn’t understand that I’ve actually done above and beyond what anyone could be expected to do. She thinks me defending myself from that accusation is me further hiding.
I’ve been advised to give her space and I will. If she comes back in a week claiming to forgive me I only hope I can be strong enough to say “no, you should not be forgiving me, you should be apologising to me”. 6 months out the door because I did something nice and didn’t think I should be chastised for not being nice enough.
Sorry for the vent. I hate people who write ■■■■ like this on internet forums. But then, I hate myself right now so just seems appropriate.
I recall being best man at a friend’s wedding a long time ago before WW1 I think. His “wife to be” was trying to set me up with her best friend who was a brides maid
The problem was that, I was already attached to my girlfriend at the time (actually living with her for a year or so).
To keep the peace with my best mate and with the wedding coming up, i simply ignored all advances and plans to artificially match the Best man with the bridesmaid. (even though I found the match making insulting to me and my GF).
I was very proud of myself as a human being and as a loyal person to my girl friend at the time (especially seeing as the bridesmaid was an absolute stunner)
