The mental health thread


#244

Today is tough, I just want to give up
Walk away from this and just curl up in a ball
Life has become one big repetitive circle of crap.
All the things I wanted to do are now just
To hard or not fun. I want to be home with
My wife and child as they give me some enjoyment
In life. Being told what to do constantly is to much
Trying to please people everyday is to much
Im over it. Go on a holiday and come back hating my
Life even more than I did prior to the holiday.
Getting a glimpse of things I want to do in my life
For a short 7 day period then back to reality
Yes on the outside I have a good life, good job
Pays well, loving family, house, nice car
But on the inside im left flat and unfulfilled in life
Due to decisions I made 10 years ago.
Im stuck in this job that is so boring it makes
Me want to stick pins in my eyes.
What do I do? I cant leave as I have to support
My family and that is my first priority.


#245

Have you spoken to your GP about how you are feeling?

I HATED my job and felt stuck because of the high salary. But I couldn’t take it anymore and left for a job that pays less but so much more enjoyable. A little bit of financial adjusting but totally manageable and worth it.


#246

Yeah I have a plan and meds to help…but some days it just doesn’t work

I want to move out of the industry im in but yeah scared to lose the money.
Its terrible


#247

You write some nice poetry though.


#248

Yeah I guess it reads like that. I was actually writing lyrics to a song just before it


#249

Writing it out, in song form, or even just posting here I s’pose is good though. Cathartic.

Try writing a letter to all those things or people giving you the shitts and let them have it.

Then burn it later on over a glass of good Bourbon, … or (insert fave tipple here)


#250

For some people its even better if you juice it. Worked for me.


#251

Still playing music @goldengoose?


#252

I’ve been through something kind of similar with a job I had recently. I had to stick at it as I didn’t have a choice and the pay was criminal. The only thing that kept me going was my family. It was at the point I was sticking it out for extra unpaid hours in the hope it would get me some type of acknowledgement but nope. Felt very unimportant. The worst bit was I was missing out on home life which was the reason I was putting extra in. Made me realise that nothing was more important than those at home, but obviously the trade off was you have to keep them supported. mentally I was on my knees and felt absolutely trapped in this organisation and it was so bad I started bringing it home with me which no one needs to see, especially kids. I’d love to expand on what this mob was like but I could write tomes. Anyone who has ever worked for an employer with extreme insecurity issues will know where I’m coming from.
I’ve just written it off as a low patch in my life and something that made me wiser. I’m not going to sit here and say there there it will all get better but I will say I’ve got some understanding of your situation and I dare say there are others that would understand too. I’ve worked ■■■■■■ jobs before but not one where I’ve needed psychological help to the extent I required. I suffer from ongoing, managed mental health issues but when your profession is something you use to reinforce your self worth and you question it throws you out in a big way.
I just thank whatever entity that’s driving the universal loony bus I had a family that got me through.
Sounds like you’ve got one that makes it worthwhile also.
Cheers.


#253

Without music I think I’d be lost. Writing and recording music is a good escape.

Writing it out here helped get somethings out


#254

Have you done any recent stuff? I’d love to hear it @goldengoose.


#255

Definitely keep that up, it’s a great release and escape


#256

Keep writing those songs brother. Good things will come from it.


#257

Thepatientlives.bandcamp.com

Thanks guys. Music is a bit of fun for sure


#258

I feel your pain. Your situation was very similar to how I was feeling a couple of years ago. Everyone’s journey is different and I’m no expert so take my advice with a grain of salt but I will tell you this.
I went at least ten years with a depression that at most times left me at best feeling numb. I had on the outside a successful so called normal life but on the inside I felt directionless, hopeless and disgusted in myself for the fake person that I was portraying to the world.
I blamed my job, my partner and mostly myself for making me feel this way. It took me a lot of soul searching and help from others to realise that it wasn’t any of these things but it was actually an illness that I had. It took me so long to believe that about myself even when I believed it did effect others.
But if there is one silver lining to this whole depression thing it is that now when I have good days I have a true appreciation for them in a way I don’t think I did before and there are definitely moments when I am just in love with being alive. The bad days still come occasionally but now I always remember there is hope, something that I hadn’t felt for a long time. Good luck you will work it out in time I’m sure.

Congrats again to everyone on this thread again it’s a little magic spot on the internet, be proud you guys are helping people. I know you’ve helped me.
Thank you.


#259

Thank you


#260

There were times when I thought I knew you, us, so well,
Suddenly, you act up and confuse me and I’m all mixed up again,
You sure surprised me a lot, just when I thought we were running hot,
But; in a moment you’d cool off again, and I missed all the cues,
And; I fell backwards into the blackhole blues,
And; we missed out again, the second time around.

Was it so incredible yet really so predicable,
Would we do it again, if we had the chance,
You’d think the most painful mistakes, we’d remember,
We didn’t, we lost it somewhere in the ration of our passion,
And; we missed out again, the second time around.
We lost it all, the second time around.

You said, I need to hear the loud music and see the flashing lights,
Places full of lonely people, dancing, seeking, empty conversations,
Who needed your words to their eyes, and you blew it all,
I said be careful, you said its just a game, a fun time filler, what a thriller,
You didn’t notice me, watching you play your game of charades,
Then; I knew, I’d been played, there was nothing more to say,
And; we missed out again, the second time around.
We lost it all, the second time around.

Sometimes, it is a great release and very cathartic.
Other times, it can be like standing on the edge of a volcano


#261

Revisiting the thread to basically say Im in a good spot now. My life is back on track and Im looking forward to what the future may hold.


#262

Howdy Blitzers

I am a young man trying to figure out the best direction for myself. I’ve been treated for depression most of my life, and a recent relationship breakdown has spiralled my mind to a negative place. I’m afraid of meeting new people. I feel I have no direction in life. I’m petrified of what comes next. I need to make new steps in my life - but unsure how. I am mentally exhausted.

I know the answers lie within myself.

I am most definitely out of my comfort zone speaking about my emotions online to fellow Essendon supporters - but I figured I have nothing to lose.

Go Dons :slight_smile:


#263

The last 5 years for me have been the hardest in my life. A few things happened at pretty much the same time and in the end it compiled to the point I couldn’t handle it. I over medicated on prescription stuff (which I suppose is self medicated), which in turn lost me my job, self esteem, a heap of friends, interest in everything. The only thing I had left, and tenuously, was my family. I didn’t help myself and put extra pressure on everyone around me.

When I finally started to do something about it I just used every available option there was. Psychologist, psychiatrist, old mentors, people to confide in. Exercise was massive. Eating well. Trying to be social, even though by nature I have social anxiety. Blitz helped in that regard, although the saga didn’t help at all. Funnily enough I found family, who don’t charge thankfully, to be the best resource I had.

In between anything like that I implemented structure. When I got up, go to gym, mow lawn or something similar. Bit of reading, bit of telly ( not much but if it was something that gave me a giggle it could help) started a few basic on line courses and reading, even though I was qualified and new something would come up. Having a goal. It all sounds like the same old thing you’ve heard a million times before but there’s no magic cure and the hardest part is you’ve got to help yourself.

Unfortunately I’m not out of the woods and have my days. But I’ve just got to accept that. Ive been told I’ve got a bit of a profile for it, but to treat it as a condition or Illness much the same as omething that needs constant maintenance like diabetes etc. I know you’ve been down for a fair bit but even if you’ve tried a heap of stuff you’ve got to go through it to figure out a balance that suits you.

And now as promised in another thread I will express an aspect of this reply with an excerpt from a British comedy;

image

Good luck mate.
Keep on blitzin’.