@Sameolds2010 has some really solid advice there, though of course through your treatment you probably know yourself and your own treatment best.
Routine and activities in which you can see progress and achivement have always been helpful for me, as has getting outdoors. Gym (or exercise in general) is a good one. Bushwalking. Gardening. Volunteering for local landcare etc groups could work for you once you feel a bit more ready to meet people. I’ve always found something involving physical activity works best for me, tiring out the body, and the endorphin release, helps tire out the negativity the mind throws at me. But again, your mileage may vary. I’ve known people who’ve used writing, or carpentry/mechanical/handyman projects, or pets, as their recovery mechanism.
For me, it’s always been about finding something (however small) that I can control and persist at and achieve something. Then I can look back and see myrself making progress over time, and it helps to see that - it’s harder for my brain to tell me I’m useless when my eyes can see something useful I’ve done.
I can’t thank everyone enough for sharing. A lot of time and effort went into those messages and I highly appreciate it. So information to take in. I found comfort in reading all your posts and that’s worth it’s weight in gold.
Hey Twist, it is excellent that you are being open and sharing, that always helps.
The answers given so far are spot on however I will just add that the best help really comes down to what the root causes of the issue are. So if you know what the root cause is then you can work to mitigate how this impacts as things happen to you in your life (such as a relationship break down).
For me the root cause is rejection (I was “rejected” by my birth parents - even while I was with them - but that’s a whole bigger story). So for me, when things happen in my life my reaction always comes back to that. So knowing this helps me work to mitigating how much it impacts me when things don’t go the way I want. As an example, if I don’t get a job I go for, I work towards saying to myself it wasn’t me they were rejecting as a person, they weren’t invalidating me, but rather they found that the other candidates skill set was greater than mine in the area they needed. Blitz is another example.
It doesn’t really stop me feeling bad of course, but rather it helps me understand my gut reaction and work towards lessening it’s impact on my mental health.
Some can find full healing but for most people it is about finding balance and coping mechanisms that reduce the severity.
I hope you can find yours and that life finds a level of balance that you find it mostly enjoyable.
This is the trap of mental illness IMO.
Yes, some healing or change needs to ultimately come from within, but you can also end up putting pressure on yourself by trying to cure or fix yourself.
Which contributes to the whole downward spiral.
I think of it like a balance or see saw. If you’re in the middle, it’s easy to move one way or the other, but if you’re right down one end, it’s that much harder.
Get help if you think you need it. Just to help give you a push up towards balance. Once you’re there, you can probably do most of the work yourself to stay there in terms of routine, exercise, and the relationship stuff will settle after a time.
Get your GP to write up a mental health care plan which gives you a number of subsidised sessions.
I had a friend of mine who I had become friends with over the last 5 months or so commit suicide about 2 weeks ago. He had depression but only a few people knew, he mainly kept everything to himself.The hurt that it has caused to those that knew him and loved him is massive
It is ALWAYS better to talk about it. I applaud you twist for having the guts to speak openly about it. We are all here for you.
Sometimes just putting you thoughts into words or writing can help see things a bit better and can really help
I think guys in society( not saying you are like this twist) think it isn’t very manly to discuss their feels or emotions, that is complete and utter garbage. It takes a lot of courage and toughness to let it out. Be proud of yourself twist for opening up
I’m a doctor. My wife is a doctor. Her parents are doctors. And her brother, an engineer, committed suicide a month and a half ago. We recognised some of the signs. Recommended he get help. Supported him through this process. But in the end, we didn’t see the final spiral. Didn’t appreciate how fixed these ideas were. And in that brief moment of relaxation he did something that tore the very fabric of his family apart.
I’m not mad at my brother in law. He fought valiantly for a long period of time. He tried, tried really hard. But he had an illness, and just couldn’t see anyway out of his own head.
Mental illness is still stigmatized. People don’t want to talk about their feelings until it reaches that crisis point. The point at which it is so hard to drag people back from the abyss.
I think any person with the bravery to voice their own inner demons should be commended. These are changes that people need to make FOR themselves, but not by themselves. Mental health does not discriminate. It affects everybody. And everybody is capable of assisting somebody who is experiencing problems with their mental wellbeing.
Asking people how they are going, about how they are really feeling shouldn’t be confined to R U OK day.
I commend HM for starting this thread, as I obviously feel this is an important issue. And it’s just nice to see a thread on the internet that isn’t dedicated to tearing at peoples insecurities and instead offers support.
I was about wind up and get into you about this post but the more I read it the more I agreed totally.
I touched on it before but normalise it if you can. It’s not the same thing but definitely related, but I had a colleague whose son suicided a while back. I hadn’t seen this bloke for a couple of years until a seminar and as you’d expect he was grey gaunt and not quite the bloke he once was or so it seemed, but maybe that’s what youre looking for too closely in such a case. He was really upfront about it and I could see everyone getting really awkward and thinking “oh it’s effected him really badly” and “so sad to see” etc. It wasn’t the case at all, he was trying to make people see there’s no shame here. He was actually on the mend and had decided by treating it as taboo he’d missed the chance to talk to people a bit more about it, missed the chance to be more proactive with his son. I recon he was being a bit hard on himself but was pretty determined that he wanted to help anyone else go through it in a more open way. It was amazing to watch.
When I eventually started dealing with mine I decided to tell mum and dad and the first thing dad said was “I’m going to mow the lawn” and Mum just gave it a “there there everyone feels down sometimes”. It showed me two things,1. Mums trot out benign comforts for anything and, 2, I think dad talks to his lawnmower when things get weird. That’s that generation. That’s not their fault.
Now everyone’s encouraged to talk about all aspects of it. If there’s one thing that staggered me about telling mum was she later came out with “push on, ignore tra la la” stuff which as she was a nurse staggered me. You get someone with a broken leg in hospital mum and dibyou push on ignore yep good work. Go Florence. It showed me the disconnect between the physical and the mental. It was only round that time things where starting to be looked at that way thankfully.
That strength to normalise looks like it’s now established, but there are some that still can’t get there head around it. It’s ingrained to an extent for xgeners from the boomers and it’s really hard for some. I swear that’s where the grunge movement popped up from. assuming the newer generations are all over itll be the norm to talk it out, but for those who can’t, are confused or in denial something as simple as a blitz forum has power in keeping people going and evolving by way of that anonymity. I strongly encourage older posters to take advantage of that - it was only a couple of years ago I found anti depressants in the old mans cabinet; Mum still claimed it was used off label for chronic pain.
I’m called mad as a wheel in an endearing way (sometimes not so much,just [email protected]) but it’s a mask used to blend in. Showing your real self at times can impact people. My mask became entrenched when I didn’t know how to help myself, or there wasn’t the help out there. Like major lillneses, it can be genetic and it can be a killer. One of the best ways to help yourself is just speak up no matter who you are, and no matter who you are there are people that care and can offer something, even if it’s just by a group of disaffected, squabbling bomber nuts.
Many different experiences and opinions. There is never really a wrong answer as we all have our own path. Having a platform for this kind of conversation is brilliant. I always come back here and re-read everyone’s comments - and absorb any information that I can use upon myself.
Thank you for having the courage to be open and share your journey with us. Glad to have you in this forum. I think the hardest step is to accept mental illness happens and it often happens to people think “it won’t happen to me.” Owning it, I know from my own experience, opens the door to self acceptance, support and loving kindness towards yourself by not giving yourself such a hard time.
Thankyou - the last week or so still hasn’t been so kind, but I’m making big changes that will hopefully allow myself to grow. I am petrified of what the near future brings, and I cry every night about it (which has allowed me to get some raw emotion out in which I’ve never done before). I’m accepting that bad days will come before the good ones. There is plenty of time for that