That Burns is for when love flies out the window and the lawyer walks in through the door.
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Thanks Bacchus
Best wishes on your journey, that there is a good arrival for you and your family
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Thankyou
never being 100%
The title is probably not great and hopefully I will get close to it and thatâs ok. But its my current reality.
Work has been shithouse. I am supposedly being given a conduct letter as staff have raised concerns about my conduct. I am still expected to work with them while also not knowing what I have done wrong and could possibly lose my registration at the end of this all. Iâve been in this limbo for 3 weeks and still no letter as its being written by higher ups.
I also have a lot of crap being dealt with by students. Punching, kicking and still being told constantly what I am doing wrong.
If youâre not a member of your union (sounds like youâre a teacher?) sign up and get them to help you. 3 weeks in limbo between concerns being raised and not actually knowing what they are is unreasonable and understandably very stressful.
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In my head I replay our conversations
Over and over til they feel like hallucinations
You know me, I love to lose my mind
And every time anybody speaks your name I still feel the same
I ache, I ache, I ache inside
I had an awful Sunday night. Replaying things over and over in my head. So much blame on myself for things that were not in my control. Replaying what I couldâve done differently. Re-interpreting things said at the time. Wishing I didnât do something, wishing I did.
Iâm trying, but itâs so hard.
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Hugz Souly.
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Regret is so much a part of death. Apparently itâs the most common reaction to the death of a loved one. It was certainly part of my reaction to my wifeâs death and still 10 years on it still lingers.
Itâs a time to be a little bit selfish when you are emotionally at 10. Know yourself and the limits of what you are willing and able to put up with.
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My next project will probably be the shoe rack / stool we were going to do before he passed. I feel confident enough now to do him proud.
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I understand that feeling mate. Iâve been through it a lot in the past with people.
I try my best to stop all the overthinking and the depression but I canât get it out straight away and it can feel like youâre at war with your own brain when trying to concentrate on something else.
Itâs horrible when that happens.
Stay strong
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Thanks for this. Sometimes I need those down days. Itâs not deliberate but I think sometimes you push those feelings out of the way and when it does come out so to speak you can take another step forward.
I do wonder if there is a specific word for this. Normal seems wrong to me. Moving on worse.
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Progression.
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Six months, just like that.
Hugs for all.
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When twelve months arrives do something special. The pain and grief goes away, and the good memories linger, and they are worth celebrating.
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Dadâs birthday today. Happy birthday dad.
Just wanted to share a small tidbit that my psychologist and I discussed yesterday.
The rational side (i.e. your brain) doesnât always see eye to eye with your emotions (i.e. your heart) and although you may know what is real and what you need to do, your emotions take more time to be convinced itâs the right thing to do. The balance between the two will go back and forward but it will settle. There can be flare ups but this is not to be unexpected. The journey will be rough and there will be times you want to disengage and quit, but know that the journey is only difficult because of the amount of care and love you have.
Stay well peeps 
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This is a shoutout to those of you who parents of children who are lost, lonely, unheard and bullied. Iâm one of those parents and Iâm also a teacher. My child is trans and the point of this post is not to open a transgender debate or push any sort of trans agenda. My journey to where I am now in that arena is a long and complex one.
I sat with two sets of parents at my recent parent conferences and heard the heartache in their voices as they talked about the loneliness of their childs lives and the hopelessness they feel. Loneliness truly is the modern epidemic of our times. Social media is so insidious that the isolation of these kids is shoved in their noses everytime they open their phones. As parents the feeling of helplessness can eat away at you. Iâve had my daughter join clubs, she volunteers to help street kids here and has assisted in sports days for intellectual disabilites and been awarded the school service awards 2 years running. She has joined volleyball and debate teams but in 4 years since transitioning she has never been invited to any gatherings by her peers. I can say nothing has affected my mental health more than watching my daughter come home and sit in her room staring at the walls desperately lonely and this includes me recieving a Cancer diagnosis within the past year.
These parents I spoke to at conferences had similar feelings and two broke into tears. I found it hard not to cry along with them. I hear a lot of talk even amongst teacher peers that parents these days are not pulling their weight or are dropping the ball. In my opinion parents influence is unfortunately a poor second to the incessant overbearing presence of social media and frankly there is little to be done to stop it. My daughter deleted her Instagram account and went off discord for 18 months but found it even more difficult to relate to her peers and felt even more isolated as it is the now how most kids converse.
SO to those parents who have a child who is one of the disenfranchised, I feel your pain but I urge you to continue to build them up as Iâm sure you are doing. My own child will continue to face obstacles as a member of a community that is todays political low hanging fruit but I still try to hang onto hope that she is fundamentally a good person and that at some point the wheel will turn and someone will welcome her into their circle. That was my message to those parents. Continue to gently encourage them and guide them towards avenues that may lead to them finding their tribe. Itâs bloody tough but hang in there.
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Awful to hear CmP. Not knowing the ages involved, could the parents of peers be contacted about fixing this, or even teachers? Is there a local group of kids in similar circumstances? Can you arrange some volleyball/debating get together? Even if these are obvious questions that youâve considered many times at least I can get a better idea of what works or doesnât in these situations.
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