So, I don’t really know what im expecting from this, so feel free to comment on anything in anyway you like…I’m 41, have no idea how I’m supposed to know if I have a mental health issue as I’ve always felt way too many people think they do, when in reality it’s just a down time in life.
My whole life I have kinda felt out of place as a human, I have a very logical mind which sometimes makes the world in general and humans not make sense, and in my opinion have always been quite the introvert. Over the last 15 years or so my ability to interact with people has definitely improved, but within myself it still feels extremely awkward and totally draining to spend time with people / interact with people I am not comfortable with.
I’ve always struggled to sleep, which has finally started to catch up with me as I get older…not sure of the exact reason, overactive brain, little joint pains and aches and niggles seem to be the main factors. I have tried some meditate to sleep apps and had varying degrees of success but nothing that had a huge impact. Diet and exercise isn’t the best at the moment but even when I have looked after myself better sleep has never been consistently good.
I have a decent paying job, which sometimes I enjoy sometimes I don’t, am buying a house etc so from that side I guess my life is ok in general.
Around 12 months ago I seperated from my partner of 10 years, the last 5 years had been hard as she was diagnosed with leukaemia, had to temporarily move to Melbourne, have a bone marrow transplant and go through recovery - we got through that together, but aftermath of her not being able to have kids etc made her decide she needed to figure out what else she wanted from life as all she had ever wanted was to settle down and have kids.
So apparently through no fault of my own, we had to settle finances etc, which even though we were amicable still sets you back a long way financially.
I do have friends so to speak but they have their own lives and we don’t catch up that often, problem is, I don’t really enjoy catching up that much anyway, and my friends are kinda limited in common interest - as in, one friend I play golf with, but has a family and has no time to spare and we don’t really share any other interests apart from golf. Another friend may share an enjoyment of video games, but nothing else so spending time with these friends tends to get “boring” quite quickly.
I met a new partner about 7 months ago who lived about an hour away but things with her was absolutely fantastic, unfortunately that looks like it’s about to end due to her trying to become a pilot (means further distance and less time together) and having health issues of her own, which in her mind mean she can’t give me what I apparently “need”.
So again, even though things are awesome, it could be over…which leaves me with little human contact again, which doesn’t really bother me but I know it isn’t healthy…
I don’t personally think I need help so to speak and I am dead set against taking anything so not really wanting to go see a dr who just sticks me on pills…just don’t want to spiral somewhere that I’d rather not be…thoughts? Suggestions? Probably missed a heap of stuff in my head so ask questions of there are gaps etc.