If you don’t mind me asking, what caused the realisation? Was it a sudden thing or a slow burn?
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For the past 2 years I have been trying to heal me anxiety and depression. It’s underlying cause was hidden beneath that noise. The less attention I got the more the anxiety. In the last 3 months it got really bad, we looked at all different reasons and fixes for my anxiety.
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Maybe once you feel right, you might consider doing some supportive voluntary work in the community. There are a few good men’s groups around that may also be helpful and give you support but it may also be useful in terms of different things which occur in relationships. So you do not isolate yourself. Labelling yourself as Narcissistic is a brave thing to do. Do the opposite of what you have done before which caused pain and use it as a positive to be the best you, you can be. Good luck.
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Heavens.
That’s an awful thing to have to face and deal with.
Make sure you keep in touch with friends and family, this sounds like a pretty jarring and potentially isolating experience. You sound like you’re holding strong, but there may be ups and downs.
Also: keep in mind, we’re all a bit messed up in one way or another - but only some of us recognise it. Doesn’t make you a bad person.
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To recognize this is huge. Most don’t…and when you try to explain their “issues” they snap back at you harder than ever. I was married to one…still doesn’t get it.
I hope you get the help you need! Stay Strong
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When you have one real thing to look forward to (footy season) and the team sucks it up rd1 hahaha FFS
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I still use footy season as an outlet, but have made it so our performance is irrelevant to my enjoyment (well, in so much as even if we suck, I still enjoy the football).
If I go to the game, I’ll stop at a restaurant pre/post game and get a meal I enjoy. If I watch from home, I’ll order something in. I turn off my phone, don’t answer emails etc;. It’s just a few hours each weekend I get away from everything, which as it turns out, I enjoy more than the football itself. The footy just gives me a reason to make sure I do it each week for half the year.
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Yep, it definitely allows a different focus.
If its not too personal or that what situations or behaviours are you referring to when you say or believe you’re a narcissist?
I guess its more a case of what ive seen and read of it , its generally found in males in domestic violence situations ( im not suggesting thats the case here , im more using that as a lesd in to what im about to say)
From what little i know about itd seem very rare that a narcissist would indeed admit he or she is one, because well it goes against the grain.
Wanting help and attention to help with anxiety and depression ( i know that struggle sadly) and having bad habits that are destructive , to my mind makes sense , to verying degrees.
So im curious in general , as they say knowledge is power
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How are you going mate? Are you still planning for Easter?
Yeah I have 10 days off…So will start rolling it back just before.
Im out on my own, seeing my daughter as much as possible. Just real focused on getting my life back on track
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I have undertaken a mental health assessment by a psychologist and I am nowhere near classification as NPD. In fact I am a 1 out of 9 categories (5 out of 9 would put me on the NPD spectrum).
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Hang in there, mate.
It may not be easy, but there are people who are there to help.
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Stay strong. Having lived with a narcissistist for years my thoughts on your initial post were ‘ no way’.
Might I suggest you and your wife see someone together. I’ve a suspicion it might help.
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With “Narcissism” being the new “Black” as it is, with every other Womens mag likely having had a “Are you Living/Working/Socialising with One?” Quizzes in the past 12 months, … (probably every other month in different guises), … It seems to me that she has just either been brainwashed by stuff everywhere, and read it into you, and/or, she’s using it as a convenient tool to further the divide.
I may be wrong, but with the Psychs eval,
and the rest of your story,
… etc, … that’s the vibe I’m getting.
If it were me, and that were the case mate, I reckon I’d be accepting it is over, getting out as amicably as possible for all concerned’s sakes, grieving, and then moving on.
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Maybe service has turned into servitude and she has reached her limit??? She seems to have made her mind up and has told you what she doesn’t want to do.
You must get therapy for yourself. Work on the things you need to work on to get yourself into the right frame of mind. From what you have said it seems at this point spending more time trying to change her mind, may push her further away. Don’t give up, get well. Tell your wife and your son that is what you intend to do.
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@Bishop my impression is that you have been so put down by your wife that you are believing you are the root cause of the problem. Maybe you are partly or largely to blame, but from what you say she has had a hand in this as well.
Why not make an arrangement for marriage counselling (not just a suggestion to your wife, but an actual booking) to show her the relationship situation is serious and you are doing something about it?
I am no expert and @mdso may well be correct about getting yourself in the right frame of mind. You can do both at once of course.
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Maybe just me but I know waaaaay more female than male narcissists.
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