i also think that people need to understand being depressed and or clinically depressed is totally different to being or feeling down through an external event.
if someone passes away, or you break up with someone, lose a friendship of course you’re going to feel depressed, sad emotional and all of that and it’s not that it’s any less valid a feelings or that, it’s just a different form of it as there’s a direct correlation as to why you’re feeling the way you are.
whereas clincal depression there isn’t always a reason, you could be in what even you would describe as the best setting imaginable, with the best people for you enjoying the best creature comforts you like, and you can feel as empty and emotionless as a shell and just not want to be there.
the mind is a cruel mistress sadly, one of which has barely had the surface scratched.
hahaha ironically i’ve had this discussion with said wedding celebrant too a few times about my posting on here …
I think what some people find hard to get their head arounds is, some people myself included try to just give as honest appraisal as much as they possibly can.
I do it in everything, but in relation to footy, i often use the example that If I say most of what i do about essendon, say about carlton, or the saints or north melbourne, the negative tag is never used.
soon as you say it about essendon though, people feel personally attacked if you don’t see or believe that they are going that well.
not to turn it into a wow is me crap about my posting or justify it, it’s just that sometimes people can see the bad in situations just as much as the good and it doesnt’ have to be negative, it’s just people trying to express what they see or believe in an honest way.
So just finished reading a couple of articles about Frawley, and read yesterday about a couple of ministers/pastors in the US (high profile in the Christian world and still young at 30ish) who also committed suicde in the past week and their struggles with depression, it impressed upon me the fact that you can often feel on top of the struggle but then suddenly it overwhelms you as things in your life take a sudden change.
Going by this thread I want to re-iterate that you/we are NOT alone. There are many of us in here and we are always more than willing to listen and be available for you.
One of the hardest things to do is tell others though. Different reasons for different people but the words of Frawley strike true for most of us. “I feel like I am not worthy enough” and “I don’t want to be a burdon”.
You are worthy enough and you are not a burden to any of us in here, even if you feel that way. I know becuase I feel that way all the time too.
Its good that there is so much more awareness surrounding this. As I’m not that aware not having experienced this with anyone close the last few days have had me thinking.
One thing that struck me over the last few days was after a comment by Jeff… “so sad we could not save Spud”. Well Jeff (and any person for that matter) can’t save anybody.
Danny would’ve been aware of where he was at - he obviously had support around him, people around him would have known where he was at to some extent (some have said he had reached out). So how (with all the support, Beyond Blue, people, loved ones, friends) can this be the answer?
Is mental illness something that can be cured? Is it all about raising funds like MND, Cancer?
Reach out to a mate? Reading here, its obviously your mate might be clueless and make the situation worse, they’re just human after all and a band aid won’t cut it. Does Jeff Kennett and his team of professionals have the answer? Apparently not.
Danny’s passing surely raises these questions for the average Joe Bloggs out there like me that are uneducated.
Danny stated a few weeks ago that his mates were aware and they would ring him up and check on him then try and get around to see him. They would turn up at the door but he has closed all the blinds and won’t answer the door so they think he is not home. The day before his death was his birthday, everyone came but he chose not to attend. The support was there.
That is a sad state of affairs, he wanted the support, desired it, but then rejected it. You can only do that for so long before the voices in your head win out because you have isolated yourself. That’s how crap this sort of mental illness is: it plays with you, makes you desire something, then cut yourself off from it.
I’ve really found writing helpful too. I’ve made it a habit to write first thing in the morning, to get everything out of my head in a stream of consciousness kind of way. No thinking about what I write, just writing anything and everything that pops into my head. Then I close the book and get on with my day.
Intermittent fasting has been good for me too.
Cant say I’ve done anything to moderate my coffee intake, but I certainly notice the outcome of every cup after the first one, in a way I never used to.
I’ve also curated the music I listen to regularly, a lot more carefully. Not 100% positive all the time, just relevant to my mood.
This happenned to a mate of mine (Bombers supporter), its amazing what experiences people go through and carry with them for the rest of their lives and you have no idea.
I hope AFL Defenders are recognised by the AFL, pity it took Dannys death to potentially make it happen. But his death has raised awareness for Beyond Blue & Are you ok, and mental health challenges etc.
For me it was more the fact that it feels like it’s shameful and that you’re weak and soft for not getting over it yourself and you can do this yourself which I guess can lead to that feeling that it’s too much effort.
I did. For years. Didn’t recognise it for what it was and then when I did, felt all the shame and inadequacies that can accompany this type of illness. It not only seemed too hard, but it seemed weak.
I know now after 20 years of dealing with this ■■■■■■■ that while it will always be hard, it’s anything but weak.
I’ve reached a point now where I know that what I’ve come through and the strategies I’ve developed to keep it subjugated mean that I can take on and ■■■■■■■ smash anything that I have to. In a strange way, I’m grateful. This has taught me two incredibly valuable things: Resilience, and accepting help.
The admiration that I have for anyone dealing with mental health issues can’t be quantified. The strength of character I’ve seen in some people just to survive is more awe inspiring than any footballer I’ve watched, singer I’ve heard, actor I’ve watched, teacher I’ve had.
This fkn thread, man. I tell you that reading and writing posts in here has been some of the most effective treatment I’ve had in 20 years.
I was about to post something here just before you posted. Can I first say how incredibly brave it was to say that. Secondly, when you say ‘everything’ are you speaking materially or does it include people, your support systems?
I think we all have two sides… what we show to others and what we keep to ourselves. It’s so important that there is one person in your life who knows all of you. Someone who you can always be upfront with without fear of judgement, reprisal or that your confidences will be broken.
Many have said ‘we’re here to help’ and we really are. Asking can be the hardest part. Be brave.