I did for a very long time and then it nearly cost me my 2nd marriage. And that was the breaking point for me getting help. I’d love to say it was a decision I made, but the truth is I love my wife and I wanted to stay married and to do that I had to get help. It was really hard to make the appointment and harder to keep making them, but every single one has been worthwhile.
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Thanks mate. My Girlfriend is one of the main reason i think i will (i know it should be more about me). She deserves a lot more than i’m currently capable of giving her.
Gotta go easy on yourself too mate.
I’ve had all of my adult life so far to do something about it and I’m 38 now and I’ve only just started. Can’t change the fact i didn’t do it earlier, but I am doing something about it now.
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Thankyou.i can’t believe I even did it on blitz, but I’ve become afraid of my own mind. Only from the point of view of knowing the insanity of drinking,whilst deluding myself I can somehow willfully conjure any other result but disaster. I appreciate your support,and will try to be vulnerable.
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All the time then remember I am fellow Essendon supporter, go to Blitz and it’s way too much effort
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Tis an odd thing alcohol. Can take all kinds of pain away …for a little while. Can make mountains into molehills …for a little while.
Do what you need to do to get through but try to remember you’re strong and one day… maybe not today… you’ll be ready.
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This thread has been a welcome refuge the last few days. Its made me realize that I need to request help too… Not sure I am ready to open the valve but thank you to all the amazing people who have contributed posts and opened up.
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This might sound like airy-fairy mumbo-jumbo nonsense (and it is, really), but it’s my belief that the feeling you mention, that whole ‘this is way too much effort, why bother’ feeling? That’s the depression talking.
My personal experiences have led me to believe that depression (and most forms of mental illness, particularly Bipolar and BPD), have incredible self-preservation abilities. It wants to stay in your head just as much as you want it to fark off. Maybe it even wants it more, and it knows all your weaknesses and all the right buttons to push in order to preserve itself.
Once you can get into a headspace where you confront the illness head on, ‘get in the ring with it,’ so to speak… It starts to become a much less daunting battle. In reality, it’s far less effort to address it, than it is to drag yourself through life ignoring it.
If your heart says you need some help, but your head tries to convince you otherwise… Your head is lying to you.
(And sorry, that wasn’t meant to be directed just at you Lance, it was more of a general response.)
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Thanks. I think you’re bang on the money. This thread really is an awesome place. Firstly for helpful advice, and secondly it makes you realise just how common these problems are. For some reason that makes them less intimidating.
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I don’t tend to frequent this thread much, but I’ve been scrolling and it’s great. Excellent job everyone.
I have been thinking about the Frawley thing over the last few days and something about the coverage has been bothering me.
There have been a lot of references to the MMM Saturday Rub (I think that’s the name), where JB and Lyon and crew would get into each other quite aggressively in the persuit it laughs. I think a bunch of highlights of that are going to be broadcast tomorrow actually.
While it’s clear that all those people are friends and there was no malice involved, I’ve been wondering what the effect of this sort of ribbing might have had on someone who was already having issues. I’m one who gets into my mates a little bit as well (though I try to compassionate and a good friend most of the time).
Any thoughts?
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A bad effect
I’ve been there. Whilst I knew it was in jest, I’d go home, and I’d suddenly start thinking about it. Why did he say that? Surely that came from somewhere? Maybe I am fat? Yes, I do have buck teeth, are people really noticing it?
The scenarios and self doubt are horrible. You know it’s joking, but your anxiety will tell you it’s all truth
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Well done for posting something so revealing. It’s a really tough battle and I wish you all the very best sir.
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I’ve found the fact that many media people have been so keen to talk about those Saturday Rub days so affectionally in the last few days quite curious.
The guy was not well obviously, and has ended up taking his own life, so why on earth would we be celebrating that period of his life where his friends made fun of him on air on a weekly basis? It seems like perhaps some people are trying to mask their guilt? I dunno.
What’s the difference to what you lot do in here with Diggers or the constant stuff with YT about Woosha? Not having a go btw, just pointiung out that everything we do can impact on people and we would have no idea.
I’m pro Diggers! But yes I totally agree with you. I wasn’t expressing a view, I was merely putting it out for discussion. I’m not really sure where I stand on it all
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I don’t mind banter but i’m sure some people are a lot more affected by it. It hard to know when it’s appropriate and where the line is. I usually wait for somebody else to prod first and then go for it. It can escalate very quickly on a forum though.
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It’s such a tangled web. If you let your mates know you’re struggling, how much do you tell them? Do you try and protect them, by avoiding naming there behaviour as a contributor? Do you have a big enough support network to deal with the loss of those friendships if they fall apart as a result of you opening up? The only thing any of us can know for sure is that he’s not here anymore. Which is really ■■■■■■■ sad.
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Garry Lyon spoke on it very we’ll in my view this morning. He along with Dunstall are obviously devastated and left floored. He’d been inconsolable and a few days ago on his way to the farm received a call from Brayshaw and they spoke for 40 minutes with both laughing and crying. At the end of the call he told Brayshaw it was the best that he’d felt in days and thought it’d be a good thing for them all to get together and do the show. Others have commented that they reckon that Frawley was at his happiest during the period of doing these shows.
I think it makes great sense and without wanting to sound cheesy I reckon Frawley would think it a wonderful tribute and apt given their group friendship. Also, agree about this thread, absolute ripper.
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Impossible to say IMO.
I have a constant mildish level of depression/anxiety, interspersed with episodes of pretty decent level anxiety, and a handful of anxiety/stress provoked health issues that follow on from the episodes.
And I’d like to stress this is just my own thoughts, from my experience.
For me, being able to switch the brain off, probably have a beer, completely forget about trying to please or look after anyone else (I’ve got a wife + 2 kids) and just call my mates useless ■■■■■ (and be called a useless ■■■■ in return) is an absolutely priceless release.
It’s just a coping strategy, but it does help to keep the mild level stuff in check a little.
But, for me, it probably wouldn’t help doing it in the midst of an episode of deeper depression/anxiety.
Maybe, for Frawley, having to do it on command could become a bit of a burden? - but that’s the same with every job.
So… who knows? Could’ve been what was keeping him going, could’ve been the opposite. We’ll never know, sadly.
I’ll also add someone from Frawley’s background - country footy into VFL/AFL at 17/18, then into coaching for 10-15 years: hanging ■■■■ on mates would be something he’s literally grown up with. Change rooms are peculiar environments, but that’s what the MMM/footy show shtick tries to tap into, albeit much sanitised.
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