Mine finishes end of Sept. Restructuring means the role won’t be the same and TBH I don’t like the way things are headed. In my case a bit of a forced layoff is just what I need. This working from home BS does my head in.
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Mine is I love the place, but staff mentality of “wonder why you got demoted” is unappealing.
A colleague who got demoted earlier was a mess. You could tell he wasn’t happy and eventually we all picked up his share of work. He Took days/weeks off at a time before leaving 5 weeks after his demotion. I spoke to him the other day and he is excited. Smaller workplace and better pay.
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Oh trust me, I vent here, because I’m very much the bigger man in the moment and don’t react to most of her ■■■■ in person.
I’m sure a lot of it is said with the intention of getting a reaction and I both refuse to give her the satisfaction of giving her what she wants, and it’s not fair on the kids to have that ■■■■ going on around them.
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As long as you’re letting it out somewhere.
I might be a little bit like you, I don’t bite back in the moment, but I find I just end up holding on to frustration for days after the fact.
Which doesn’t actually help anyone. Doesn’t fix any problems, and I just find myself stomping around.
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And replay the conversation in your head while you’re in the shower. Coming up with perfect comebacks or things to say.
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Wise words.
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So just logged into my Centrelink account, I’ve got a very significant payment hitting my bank account tomorrow.
It is an very strange feeling, it is part relieved, but there is some other stuff there that I’m really not sure how to verbalise at this stage.
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Take your time mate, there is no rush. You are in this for the long run.
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So my ex’s new boyfriend got hit with an IVO from his ex and/or his ex’s Mum this week.
Now I don’t know what is going on there because I’m only hearing things from my ex’s persepctive and that perspective is that the boyfriend’s ex is an absuive ■■■■■ that is using his kid and their situation to punish him for having the gall to leave her.
I don’t know what is going on, I don’t know him well enough (or hardly at all to form an opinion), not that it has stopped my ex from asking me if I’m willing to provide him with a character reference if they need me too.
The thing that pissess me off about all this ■■■■ is the stuff that happened earlier this year where she claimed she was not communicating with me becauzd she was ‘afraid of me’ because it was the most dangerous period of time for her. That this is when an ex is likely to become abusive to theif former partner.
I got no benefit of doubt, despite I had never even raised my voice at her during our relationship, let alone behaved aggressively or violently towards. The same could not be said in reverse. Objects were thrown at my head on several occasions.
Meanwhile her boyfriend is hit with an IVO by ex and their is no doubt, zero, he could not have possibly done anything untoward, or even anything that might have triggered a misunderstanding. No, no doubt whatsoever. Even though if this is the most dangerous time for her as my ex, surely it is also the most dangerous time for his ex. But no, no doubt whatsoever, she is just being a psycho ■■■■■ who is trying to punish him and ■■■■ his life up.
I mean I know they have a whole 8 months of history, so I can totally see how he is completely above reproach and yet having known me for 20 years and not seeing me display aggressive or violent behaviour towards anyone, let alone her, is a completely disregarded.
I got a rental to go an inspect tomorrow. Hope it is nice, so I can apply for it and get it. It is well past time to move on and get the ■■■■ out of this situation.
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Probably doesn’t mean a lot but best wishes to you.
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If l was in your position l would be making myself as small as possible, invisible. Politely decline to be involved. Like you say, time to move on, get away from your ex, as far as is possible. Put some clean air between the two of you and maintain the distance. Her new beau and his problems are none of your concern. Good luck with the house.
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Sorry for your trouble. It definitely IS high time you found a new place for yourself to move into — before your ex’s new relationship goes into a tailspin, and she wants to come back, saying she has nowhere else to go. She’s bad news, mate. Get shot of her. ASAP.
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Are you going to let the guy be around your kids??
I don’t think it’s worth the risk.
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This
i definetly would not be putting a good word in for him, given all that’s happenned and u barely know him.
And given kids around this guy you should be able to get a proper look at the charges.
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I’m no expert but I would have thought that anything you say now about this guy could be used as evidence in any future court case. Say good things about him now and it may be difficult to object to him later on. Good luck with it all
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I often get asked for references. I always say up front, that I will but I will tell the absolute truth. Most then back out.
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not to say it doesn’t happen, but from my experience with other peoples situations on avo’s and ivo’s is If the person has been in a DV situation, they are rarely the ones who get them put on the perpetrator and it’s some form of external body (police, DV help center etc).
depends how much you want to passively aggressively ■■■■ off the ex, using her words against her ( the it’s hte most dangerous time for ex’s line) and remind her of that, and restrict her and him seeing your kids also.
(Innapropriate paragraph removed - Mods)
Anyone ask the children their views, or consider what is best for the children? Going down a revenge path would harm the children.
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A friend of mine is navigating the family court system- her 10 year old son hates visiting his father. He suffers terrible anxiety prior to visits to the point of breaking down. The child sees a psychologist and psychiatrist. The child desperately wants agency to say when and how visitation will happen with his father but that won’t happen until he is about 14 years old.
The reason for the break up was DV. Thankfully the child’s mother is a doctor as the last barrister bill to ensure visitation to the father was not increased despite medical advice, cost $160K.
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I know of two people having gone through this, with the father subject to a DVO. In both cases ( one in Qld, one in Victoria) by a Family Court Order, the father was given access once a fortnight in a special supervised facility. That is also costly ( parents are supposed to split the costs) but a lot cheaper than legal bills.
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