True. It was a dopey question upon reflection and you showed great restraint in not taking advantage. I respect that.
1 Like
Havenât posted in a while.
So my ex is moving out and is in the process of finding a place with her new boyfriend.
I apparently have to find a new place too as the age t here wonât sign over to me in ny name alone. I choose to see that as good thing because even though I didnât really want to move, this place is a shithole and it is almost impossible to get the landlord to do any maintanence. So a new place will probably be a good idea.
The ex felt the need to tell me last night that I have to find a place where I can have the kids because it would not be fair for me to expect her and her new partner to have the kids 24/7 and her partner is freaking out that I might just find a one bedroom place and lump them with the kids.
Iâm not sure if this is some kind of pisstake or something or whether these two â â â â â â â are just really that lacking in self awareness given they have essentially left me to raise 5 kids almost 24/7 since they started dating in Feb.
I mean so far this week the kids have seen their Mum for about 10 minutes Monday afternoon when she dropped in to pick some stuff after work, for about an hour on Tuesday - she was meant to take our daughter to her speech pathologist appointment but went to do some errands before coming back to pick her up and takr her to the appointment, but apparently had a meltdown while she was out so was too upset to take her to her appointment. She also came around for about 20 minutes after work yesterday and reckoned she was going to come around after work today, until she sent them a message saying she was too tired and sick after work. Apparently she is going to come around tomorrow, until she doesnât.
The week before she looked after them on the Monday (or her boyfriend did, she was sick in bed) and she also came around for a bit on Tuesday. She was here enough to pass on her cold germs to me and the kids so we all got sick and then we did not see or hear from her again until Monday this week.
This is all really standard of the last 6 months. I know she jokes to her friends about being a deadbeat weekend Dad to her friends. The joke being a deadbeat weekend Dad would still be doing more parenting than her.
Got to say I love it when she comes around and cannot help but makes comments about how she doesnât think my parenting is up to scratch. Nope you actually have to do some of our own before you get to criticise mine.
The only problem is lockdown is going to make it hard for both of them and me to find new rentals, so this â â â â is going to drag on for awhile.
8 Likes
Finally you get to move on. She sounds like a real piece. You and the kids are much better off without her, the less contact for now, the better you and the kids will be. Good luck with the search for a place, l hear that it is even harder now, than it usually is. Fingers crossed you are able to find a place soon. Hang in there mate, things are getting better.
11 Likes
For those feeling a bit down, or been kicked around l heartily recommend regular visits to this thread, it is sure to pick spirits up.
5 Likes
I Skyped with my parents in Colorado this morning. It was weird. Nobody had anything to talk about. Nobody is going anywhere or doing anything.
I guess in a perverse way it actually made me feel better, because I wasnât getting that sense of missing out quite as much as I normally would.
3 Likes
Im sure it helps some people but I found it evil. I went cold Turkey getting off it was brutal.
I recently started acupuncture and Chinese herbs for depression. I am getting some exceptional result I think mores from the Chinese herbs than needles.
There are certain procedures for managing physical pain going beyond wellness, which somehow puts the pain outside the body. IDK whether it works for mental health, but certainly worked for me in physical terms and avoided use of opioids and allergy causing drugs.
1 Like
Well, your situation is on a whole other level to mine, but I did finally move a month ago. An amazing sense of freedom and a massive weight off me in terms of mental health. Your kids should always remember and one day fully understand the load you are carrying. Hold your head high. Good luck finding a place.
4 Likes
As I posted in the Dog Thread, I have a new pup on the way, will be 8 weeks old on Fathers day. My 9yo boy has wanted a dog for a couple of years but I didnât want to take that on with 2 cats, 5 chooks and fish that we already had. All those animals have stayed with his mum, so now with me moving out his wish can be granted. We have a 4/3 nights parenting arrangement, so jnr will get at least 3 nights with our dog and Iâll have a buddy to keep me company and on my toes when heâs not here. Just one group of mutts that I would still love to kill off this weekend though 
13 Likes
Found this interesting (Iâve read probably half of the studies referenced but figure itâd be easier just to post the summary article for you guys to access).
1 Like
Sitting in the dark, on hold with Centrelink trying to find out when my claim for Family Tax Benefit might be approved.
Submitted it in May, was meant to be processed by mid June and still hasnât been. Backdated my claim to when we seperated last March.
Need out of this â â â â â â â house and need to â â â â her right off out of my life and that lump sum I should hopefully be getting, is my ticket out.
The new boyfriendâs kid shares a birthday with me and it was suggested to me that I might want to make sure our kids make her birthday cards. Nope hard pass. If they want to make her birthday cards, they can, I have no isue with that. But itâs not my job to make aure they do. You want to make sure they make her birthday cards then maybe thatâs something you can â â â â â â â do with them. But then again maybe they donât really feel inclined to make some kid theyâve never met a birthday card, just because her Dad is â â â â â â â their Mum?
3 Likes
Vent as much as you want mate. If you arenât getting much joy from Centrelink, consider contacting your local federal memberâs office. They will have staff who can look into your case, and help get things moving.
1 Like
The other one rhat shat me off was the other week when she was all like âyou know, when you move you have to have somewhere that the kids can stay over at, you canât juat rent some 1 bedroom place and lump us with the kids 24/7.â
Apparently completely unironically the boyfriend is very concerned about that happening, despite them having essentially done the same thing ro me for the past 7 months.
5 Likes
The sooner you are out of there, and she is no longer any part of your life the better. Fingers crossed things get better, soon. Hang in there, stay strong.
2 Likes
Finally got to talk to someone at Centrelink, briefly, back on hold now while they try and figure out why it ia taking so â â â â â â â long.
Heâs now put ot through for urgent procesing and I should hear something in the next 1.5 - 2 weeks. Which is exactly what the last guy told me he had done when I last called 1.5-w weeks ago.
Iâm going to play it safe and not hold my â â â â â â â breath though.
3 Likes
And to top it off the kids have lost the â â â â â â â tv remote, so I guess Iâm watching the footy on my phone.
Download the universal remote for your TV on the phone and then you never have to worry about the remote again.
7 Likes
OMG I didnât know that was a thingâŚjust blew the kids minds.
13 Likes
Found out that my leadership role wonât be continuing next year at this stage. Tough pill to swallow as the two years I was hired for was ruined by Covid so none of my plans really got traction.
It sucks as I know I didnât interview for it as well I could have (Damn nerves) and I was the only leader in my group not renewed. The boss told me she knew I was nervous and didnt answer questions as well as I could have so I have a week to go before I can ask for feedback.
Feeling pretty deflated and unmotivated when I am at work at the moment but trying to hang in there as I need to good reference. Itâs hard knowing the difference in pay from what I was on before this role to what I am on now was paying for my sonâs OT as he needs muscle strengthening and speech as we arent eligible for NDIS.
I was chatting to a mate who said the right place will come along so hang in there. Itâs hard as I am that far up the pay scale that bosses look at the bottom line and see âexpert = 110K vs Graduate = 70kâ and itâs a brainer. I have had interviews but keep getting âThank you but you were unsuccessfulâ.
5 Likes
Itâs tough but it is your chance to be the bigger man, focus on yourself and the kids, you need to find somewhere that works for you and your children. Moving further away might help as well, like I said tough situation but YOU need to be in control of yourself before you can control the situation
2 Likes