Egyptian cotton…
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Building on the coffee…Cafes…basically everything about modern day cafes. Community tables? Fk right off, if I wanted to sit with a bunch of arrogant snobbish toffs who think the world revolve purely around them I’d just befriend more of my work colleagues.
Stupid sized and shaped plates. Ffs, who fkn cares, give me a plate that fits on the fkn table please. While your at it, make sure it’s suitable for the fkn food, if I wanted to eat off of a fkn wood slab I’d just pretend I was in the 1920’s. Plates are round or square, no exceptions, I don’t want my fkn food falling off of some fkn skinny 15 sided oblong equilateral fkn trapezoid every time I try to fork it.
Fkng with perfectly fine fkn dishes like Eggs Benedict with stupid ingredients… Just because each fkn dish on your menu has 5 fkn exotic ingredients that I have to google to find out what it is does not mean you’re going to get a Michelin fkn star. This is worse when I google it and realise it’s some fancy fkn wnkword for sloppy potato.
Drinks in things that aren’t fkn glasses and spoons that aren’t fkn big enough to reach the bottom of my mug / beaker / vase / fkn oil tin without getting my fkn fingers in my drink.
Modern day cafes are over rated
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They’ve been going around and around and around, and it’s been sooo farking boring…
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May i say, this is a quality rant. Bravo.
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Boom! Here’s one I finally agree with.
Brugge? It’s like a fairytale!
Thai food is awesome.
Totally agree with Nicole Kidman though.
So true
Classic. Sums the modern day food wank phenom to a tee,
Rant of the thread.
Queueing for any restaurant.
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Queuing for Asian Fusion restaurants
Queuing for a night club / pub.
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sorfed, werewolf and Essendon12’s opinion on renewable energy
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This is absolutely fantastic.
Reminds me a little of this Bill Burr bit about going to brunch.
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Stop going to hipster cafes.
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i’m with colin farrell 
thai foods overrated. doesnt mean its a decent meal.
just way overrated.
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There’s non hipster cafes these days? Oh you mean the granny pensioner cafes?
Avocado.
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Agree with the common tables, ■■■■■■■ hate them.
And unless you have an allergy don’t Google it, just eat it.
Though to pay $25 for a ■■■■■■■ egg on toast with half an avocado mashed up is ■■■■■■.
I’ll admit I do go to some of the modern cafes, but some of the prices are a ■■■■■■■ joke. Went to one (Pascoe vale), 2 lattes, wife had a coconut yoghurt muesli, I had eggs bene and we got a muffin to go, $50!
However went to another: (Brunswick)
2 lattes
Bacon sandwich (with extras)
Egg bowl (had Quinoa and other stuff in it)
Muffin
$33
Much more reasonable
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You look like the guy from Virginia tech
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