Young girl at the footy last week - with her dad (they have seats in front of mine) spent the entire game between asking her dad for more food, and asking me what she could do to her dad.
“Can I tickle dad under the arm?” yeah, sure
“Can I slap his bald head?” ah…yeah, ok
“Can I bite his finger?” …I wouldn’t…
“Can I smash him in the face?” I don’t think so…
“What about poke him in his eyes?” Nah, I wouldn’t…
“I’m gonna kick his foot, ok?” Yeah, why not…
“You wanna punch Dad in the head?” Nah, don’t think so…
“Can I bite his arm?” sigh
Brings back memories of my late brother. Gone 21 years but still remembered for his tactical knowledge of air currents to make sure you’d get the worst of it.
And that Sunday after a gutful of post-cricket beer, followed by steak and black bean sauce and topped off with stewed plums…seriously, you could carve the air with a spoon, bottle it and sell it as rat poison.
Cancer in the gut took him…not surprising in retrospect.
My 18 year old daughter had her boyfriend stay over for the first time last weekend .
Anyhow the whole family and her boyfriend went to watch my 8 year old son’s first real junior footy game. On the return from the game I was reversing the car back into the driveway when my 8 year old turns to our daughter and says.
Mr 8 : When are you guys going to make me an uncle
Ms 18 yells: Don’t talk like that, we are not having any kids
Boyfriend to my Daughter: gee thanks very much
Daughter: What
Boyfriend: silent
Mr 8: just smirking
Myself and my wife were dead silent but I was trying to hold it all in. I really needed to lay down after that one. My 8 year old knew what he was doing the whole time
Little Miss ASB (3) was having a lollipop on the couch next me, just turns to me and says
“Do you want to ■■■■ it” (never used that word before or have I in front of her, obviously meant suck it)
Just containing my laughter I said no we don’t share lollipops, then I ran out of the room to laugh and tell her mother.
My daughter saw a business card of mine in my car. She said ‘ I have a great idea’ ‘you should make business cards of ‘everyone you hate and then when you crash your car just give the false information’.
She even walked me through a fake interaction of someone who she’d crashed into and then kindly sharing the fake business card saying she’d take care of everything.
For some background until earlier this year we homeschooled our kids. Part way through term 1 we decided it was no longer possible for us to continue doing that and have put them in school.
This has included having our 3-year-old in 3-year-old kinder two afternoons a week.
Anyway Ms 9 came out with list outlandish claim today.
“Why does Mr 3 even need to go to kinder, none of the rest of did and we have all turned out perfect!!”
Six year-olds learning the steps to a Beatles song for an eisteddfod (weird spelling, but okay) kind of thing.
Teacher: Now, does anyone know what sort of band the Beatles were?
One kid tentatively raises their hand: A lonely hearts club band?
.
