When people forget to hang up their mobile and you either hear mushy pocket genital sounds or mindless banter. Or they sledge you.
Now that’s power you can’t buy.
Biting into a hot cheese kransky (not a metaphor) and hot cheese squirting up your face and across your eyelid.
OK it didn’t amuse me, but it amused my friends.
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Was the second part a metaphor?
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A sausage cheese facial 
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Klawdy you saucy dog, you.
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Holy Bukake batman!!
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No but I could finally sympathise with a certain profession.
When you see someone who’d sat up your a r s e, weaved in and out of traffic repeatedly cutting people off, overtaken on the left, then roared off… pulled over by the coppers a few km up the road.
Comedy gold.
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Really…you devil
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Politicians that preach moral values to us and then get busted cheating on their wife via some chick from a sugar-daddy website.
Edit: And then asking us to “respect his family at this time”. Just like you did, mate?
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Kohli no mates
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I’m a huge proponent of the “this ■■■■■ ■■■■■■”
It works on so many levels
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Did he get you monologueing?
I’m amused by lots of things.
For example, I watched this guy struggling with a vegetable at the self-serve checkout at my local supermarket recently. He wasn’t sure how to classify it. I could see from back here it was a parsnip but he seemingly didn’t know what it was. After a few minutes looking back and forth between the parsnip and the screen with a bewildered look on his face and several instances of stink-eyes from others in the queue, he mouthed “ah f*ck it” and punched it in as a carrot.
A few things amused me about this. 1) Why was he buying an item when he didn’t know what it was? 2) Him mouthing “ahhh f*ck it” when he couldn’t find a picture to match the vegetable and 3) The reluctance of me and everyone else waiting to use the checkout to offer him assistance in identifying the item. None of us helped.
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ftfy
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I even love it when, after three or four lights etc. they’ve sped in and out, lane changes, beeping horn, blah blah, and you still end up side by side at the next intersection. 'Well done Captain Speedy, you surely are a master driver!". Idiot.
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Surely sir, you are a man amongst, idiot men.
Depends.
Sometimes that’s right.
Sometimes the reason I’m stuck here at the lights next to you is because you were doing 50 in an 80 zone, ya great gallumph, and I couldn’t get around you until it was too late.
That’s why we’re both here looking at each other.
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Oh, while I’m here, people who completely lose their ■■■■ while driving when someone changes lanes in front of them, indicator on mind you, and inconveniences them not at all in any way.
A little four finger wave is a very funny response to their one finger wave.
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