https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLUh-CLGiPw
For some reason this makes me think about Dank talking to ASADA
Three little sentences will get you through life. Number one: Cover for me. Number two: Oh, good idea, boss. Number three: It was like that when I got here.
A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice and, um… [spots his can of Duff] Oh, wait a minute. Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good and you‘d step over your own mother just to get one! [downs the beer] But you can‘t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!
We're here
We're ■■■■■
We don't want anymore bears
Attention: all honor students will be rewarded with a trip to an archeological dig. Conversely, all detention students will be punished with a trip to an archaeological dig.
— Principal Skinner
"Something was said...not good. What was it? "Don't yell at Homer!" No, that's OK. What was it? ...Slow! They called you slow! How dare you call me that! I -- huh?"
"Hey, Homer, you still here? Boy, you are slow."
He's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog."
"Really?"
"Well...replace the word 'kinda' with the word 'repeatedly' and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
Homer- Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment.
Marge- Are you going to eat it?
Homer- ........Yes.
Shopkeeper: Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: Ooh, that's bad.
Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free frogurt!
Homer: That's good.
Shopkeeper: The frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Shopkeeper: But you get your choice of toppings.
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The toppings contain potassium benzoate.
[Homer looks puzzled] Shopkeeper: ...That's bad.
"2, 4, 6, 8, what Homer did was very great!"
"Great, meaning large or immense, we mean it in a pejorative sense"
Bart's girlfriend, when he dashes after being "found" stealing the communion money.
Homer: "STOP HIM! HE'S HEADED FOR THE WINDOW!"
Also what's the one where someone is like
"Now I don't think we need to inflate taxes"
Homer: "BOOOOOOOOO!"
"But I think there's a better way"
Homer: "STOP! LET HIM SPEAK!"
Would love if someone knows and I could find it and re-watch it.
Homer: "I am so smart, I am so smart. S-M-R-T, I mean S-M-A-R-T"
But Duff Man, you said if I slept with you I wouldn't have to touch the drunk
Duff Man... says a lot of things. Oh Yeah!
Feels like you're wearing nothing at all!
Stupid sexy Flanders!
"Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?"
"What country is this car from?"
"It no longer exists, but take it for a test drive and you'll agree... zagrabevim zlotik diev"
"Put it in H!"
"No... this is Tony Plow.... from Leave it to Beaver. Yeah, they were ***."
"We're just calling to distract you while we repossess your plow."
"I would have expected that kind of language at Denny's, but not here!"
"Look Smithers, the money and the very stupid man are still here".
"When I was a boy, I wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and hit my head on the coffee table. The doctor thought I might have brain damage."
"Dad, what's the point of this story?"
"I like stories".
"Oh dear. My wife is going to kill me."
"Care to join me in a belt of scotch?"
"It's 9:30 in the morning!"
"Yeah, but I haven't slept in days."
"Delicious... bourbon. Brownest of the brown liquors"
"I move for a bad court thingy"
I could have a thread on Lionel Hutz alone.
That's damn fine coffee you got here in Twin Peaks. And damn good cherry pie.