Were you in BMX Bandits? 
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Good thing you didn’t work in an abattoirs…
I do this. straight out of the packet and down the hatch. The colours never see the light of day.
My first job was working at the M & M factory as a proof reader, and boy did I have my work cut out.
I had to reject roughly three out of four because they were printed with either a “W”, an “E” or a “3”.
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Good joke dad
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This is me when I religiously don’t cover things I put in the microwave, especially don’t put a plate on top, as that would be more washing up.
10 minutes later I’ve got the microwave platter, the little spinning thing in the sink and on hands and knees trying to clean the inside top of the microwave.
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I turn the light switch on and off 14 times before leaving any room. Work colleagues find me really annoying. Is it just me?
They have prolly outgrown ‘Murder in the Dark’. Just a guess.
Not smartie-nuff to get a real job?
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When I was…younger. I used to spend ages trying to get that switch half on and half off. The light always beat me though. Don’t know exactly what I was trying to achieve. Not ‘on’ and not ‘off’.
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So where the hell do I file this (if I actually owned it)??
I do have that, and 2 more by them.
These days I file them under “L” for Langford.
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My version of counting sheep is to progress through jumper numbers and assess those player’s current form.
Luckily I fall asleep quickly.
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There’s always an exception that tests the rule!
The way those thes (the’s? theses?) are written, it almost looks like The Squared. So, maybe file them under “S” for squared.
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Would you file 
under T or after Z?
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I put my phone in the fridge with camera recording to confirm light goes off. Can confirm light goes off.
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Dark Phonefridge
Why do you have the microwave on the floor?
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Maybe he’s just extremely tall?
A couple of years back there were those sing-songy “wouldn’t it be nice if the world was Cadbury” ads. Genuinely creeped me out to the point where I couldn’t watch or listen or eat chocolate for long while.
Yeah everything made of human flesh and the resultant rampant cannibalism. Fkng hooray.
Everyone thought I was doing a comedy bit when I’d bring it up.
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