Did anyone know that Dickens had Tale of Two Cities serialised?
Two papers.
The Bicester Times and The Worcester Times
A farmer drove to a neighbor’s farmhouse and knocked at the door.
A boy about 9 opened the door.
“Is your dad or your mum home ?” asked the farmer.
“No, they went to town,” the boy replied.
“How about your brother, Howard ? Is he here ?”
"No, he went with mum and dad.”
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.
"I know where all the tools are if you want to borrow one. Or I can give dad a message.” said the boy.
“Well” said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your dad. It’s about your brother, Howard, getting my daughter Susie pregnant.”
The boy thought for a moment.
"You would have to talk to dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the boar, but I don’t know how much he charges for Howard.”
Just heard this at the bowls club.
How to catch a polar bear.
First, cut a hole in the ice.
Then, surrounded the hole with green peas.
When the polar bear comes down for a pea, kick him in the ice hole.
I know it’s a joke, and I appreciate the humour, and I think polar bears are awesome…
But you won’t find me anywhere near kicking distance of a bear 3 times the size of a grizzly, which doesn’t eat berries.
Polar bears are scary.
Not if you’ve got a bag of peas apparently.
What do you say to a one legged hitchhiker
Hop in
Posted it yonks ago but on topic and an oldie is a goodie.
Polar bear cub " Dad, am I really a polar bear?"
Dad bear “You sure are son, future king of all you can see”.
“But am I a real polar bear, dad?”
“Yep, we’re lord and master of all creatures here”
" But a real polar bear, dad?"
“Yes son, all give way to our presence. Why all the questions son?”
" Because I’m farkin freezing!!"
Whist we are at it, there is no way a priest, a minister and a rabbi would walk into a bar together!
To use an applicable analogy, that’s like saying that there’s no way players from opposing teams talk to each other outside of matches. Some followers may be outraged, but they aren’t all as unfriendly with each other as some might think.
What’s the punch line?
I was more referring to them being in a bar together.