I enjoy a good laugh, but this thread has taken a violent, misogynistic turn of late.
you’re welcome.
According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem.
A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.
She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.
Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
There are teachers, and then there are educators…
He’s the audio version.
Two marines and an army cadet board a plane. the marines sit down at the window and middle seat, whilst the army cadet sits down in the isle seat.
After about 30 min, the army cadet takes off his boots and puts his seat back to relax, when the marine near the window says “Excuse me, can I get through, I want to go get a coke”.
The army cadet replies “sit back and let me go get you the coke, I wouldn’t mind stretching my legs anyhow”. The marine nods his head in appreciation as the army cadet leaves.
After he leaves, the marine picks up the army cadets right boot and proceeds to pee in it. He looks at the other marine and they laugh.
A few minutes later the army cadet arrives and hands over the coke and proceeds to sit down again.
Abut 30min later, the marine in the middle seat says “Excuse me, can I get through, I want to go get a coke”.
The army cadet replies “sit back and let me go get you the coke, I wouldn’t mind stretching my legs again anyhow”. The marine nods his head in appreciation as the army cadet leaves.
After he leaves, the marine picks up the army cadets left boot and proceeds to pee in it. He looks at the other marine and they laugh.
A few minutes later the army cadet arrives and hands over the coke and proceeds to sit down again.
30 min later the plane lands and the army cadet proceeds to put his boots back on and immediately realizes what the marines have done. The army cadet stands up with a disappointed look on his face whilst the marines sit there with a smirk on their faces. The army cadet says “when is this ridiculous competition between our military services going to stop, it’s getting out of hand with all the peeing in peoples boots and cokes!”
I remember that one as between two Rangers fans and a Celtic fan caught at the wrong end, only it was Bovril, not Coke, and No 2’s, not No 1’s, in the boots.
You mean “Here’s the video version.”
I posted it for our blind Blitzers. You had to go and rub it in, didn’t you!
I gve it a like and nevr even saw the spelin mistacke.
Of late?!?
A man walks into the bar and asks for a drink. He notices a jar full of $10 bills, so asks the barman what it’s all about. The barman says “it’s a 3 stage challenge and if you win you get all the money in the jar. First though you need put $10 in the jar to find out what the challange is.”
The man places $10 in the jar and asks “OK, what are the challanges?”
The barman says “The first challange is you need to drink this full bottle of Tabasco sauce without making a face, the second challange is that there is an angry Pitbull out the back with a sore tooth that needs to be pulled out and the third challange is that there’s an old lady upstairs that hasn’t been pleasured for a long time, you need to pleasure her”
The man without flinching, picks up the bottle of Tabasco sauce and drinks it without flinching, he then walks out the back and you hear the pitbull barking, and growling, there’s a tussle and finally you hear the dog whimpering.
The man walks inside again all scratched and exhausted. The patrons and barman are all impressed. The man then turns to the barman and says “OK, where’s the old lady with the sore tooth?”
A Priest, Rabbit and Pastor walk into a bar.
The barman asks the Rabbit, “How can I help you?”
The Rabbit responds, “I don’t know, I’m only here because of Autocorrect”
Two repeats there my friend.
The first one has actually gone around a few times.
There are close to 3,500 posts. I’m sure there are multiple repeats in here.