There certainly are.
Some so often that becomes the joke. It doesn’t really matter as long as there’s a reasonable gap between. I just mentioned it because I never have, and I thought I would beat the usual suspects to it.
Just ignore me and carry on.
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Back in my earlyish working days, one of my bosses was running general insurance calcs on a state-by-state basis.
We saw the first batch go through in a file called CUNSW, then CUVIC. We’re thinking “surely he’ll notice”, but no…last one up, worth the wait.
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The version l first heard had an Irishman wanting to join a native American tribe. To pass the initiation test he had to drink a bucket of whiskey, wrestle a grizzly bear, and make love to a squaw.
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A guy walks into a bar at the top floor of large skyscraper and asks for a strong one. He drinks up and asks for another one. After quite a lot of drinks he walks over to a table where there are two men sitting, talking and drinking. “I’ll bet you guys 5000 bucks I can jump out that window and land safely on street below!”
The two men look at each other then agree to accept the bet. So the drunk walks to the window and jumps out. The two men can hardly believe their own eyes when they see him land safely on the street and again enter the building. “How’d you do it?!” they ask in amazement when he enters the bar again.
“Well, you see.” the drunk replies. “There is this ventilation shaft straight below this window, and the stream of air is so strong, it slows you down enough to land safely on the grid. Why don’t you try it yourselves?”
So, both the men hurry to the window and jump out, facing certain death as they hit the street at high speed.
At this point, the bartender walks up to the drunk and says: “You’re a real ■■■■ when you’re drunk, Superman.”
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When I die I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming like his passengers in his car.
Spike Milligan.
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