Season 2019 - Fark Carlton


think it was 2016


It looks to me like their draft picks at the end of the season will be, roughly, #12, #50, #60ish and #80+.
So they’re going to have to rely on natural improvement from this list.

I guess it’s possible they could trade this year and next year’s first round for someone decent, but that’s just pushing the problem further down the road.


2011 was a shitstorm of a draft. Pillaged by GWS, first by their 12x 17yos (like Shiel), then they got 8x first rounders.

Essentially Port - the team who “should” have had pick 2, were picking at pick 6, which was effectively about pick 12 (counting the 17 year olds), and we should have had pick 9, actually had pick 19, which was effectively about pick 30.


They eat too many sweets innit


Last decent win we had against them, they went crying to Big Daddy.


I just had a look at their list, partially because after my filthy little visit to Tanking Carlton I was thinking maybe I was being too critical, but ■■■ it’s a farking disaster.
If everything goes right for them, and I mean everything, they might be playing finals in 2021.
But you can say that about literally any team.
They’re in a world of pain this season and very, very probably next season too.

They have Thomas in their best 22.
Simpson is 35 this year.
Liam Jones is a fair dinkum lock in the side.
Without Docherty (who will be coming back from consecutive knee recos), their backline looks like this:
B: J. Weitering, L. Jones, L. Plowman
HB: N. Newman, C. Marchbank, K. Simpson
And that is the good news about their backline, because there’s bugger-all depth there.

Their 100+ game players are Simpson, Murphy, Thomas, Kruezer, Ed Curnow, Jones, Casboult and Fasolo.
Their 50-100 game players are Lobbe, Bugg (oops), Docherty (oops), Cripps, Plowman, Wietering and Lang.
Let that sink in, Fasolo, Lang and 21 year-old Weitering are senior members of that squad.

They needed Shiel soooooo bad, not just to eventually replace Murphy (which they’re going to need to do) but to add some mature stability to the team.


and Shiel did the same maths and found no amount of caviar, Grange or private plane trips was going to make him sign up to that


Wow talk about about way too much draft concessions.


Well, SOS has admitted this by shipping of their first rounder next year. Just can’t be trusted with it.


I think he could have done alright there. It’s just that without him, their midfield is also a mess.
As it stands, players that are going to be putting in serious midfield time for them this year include;
Fisher, (I’m gonna be kind and count the age they turn this season) 21
O’Brien, 20.
Dow, 19.
Walsh, 19.
SPS, 21.
Setterfield (2 games) 22.
Kennedy, 22.

Also, they’re gonna be praying McKay turns out alright.


They should be banned for bringing the game into disrepute.


Expect him to do alright wherever he plays. But he, like a lot of players, wants a flag.
Essendon gives him a far greater chance than Carlton.


Out of those 2 players still at the club, I thought Nick Graham got the boot last season.


Rd 23, 2016.

Most fun I’ve ever had at a game of football.


If the AFL gave Carlton 5 free picks in the next two drafts, they would:

  1. swap most of them for GWS castoffs
  2. pick players that were never going to make it anyway
  3. whoever they eventually picked, they would turn into a park footballer in a few years.
  4. trade todays high picks for later picks in a future draft

Lets face it, they are a rabble.

Its delicious.


Don’t believe Setterfield has resumed full training yet.
Not sure why he is being pencilled in as anything.


You would end up with the blurst of lists.


Best case scenario.

Edit: Feel free to share his load amongst the others.


Can somebody please put Tom Hanks in a Carlton Guernsey


I was behind the goals and it was like mortar shells were exploding around me there were so many goals in quick succession that 3rd quarter.

Made it all the more awesome that we had all those top-up players and juniors.