Season 2019 - Fark Carlton


It was all part of the plan.
Remember when they won the pre-season comp a few years ago - and then won the spoon in the real stuff?
So much more joy when the expectations of their supporters have the greatest distance to fall.


I still think the best result for everyone this year would be 7 or 8 wins for Carlton. They’d get cocky again and then completely ■■■■ up their rebuild and we’d be set for another decade of them being ■■■■


Not going to happen.

They won’t get to play us 7 or 8 times.


ha - the most we could play (lose to) them in a year would be 1 JLT, 2 home and away, 2 finals


I would prefer them get at least one more wooden spoon before rising to mediocrity.




Well, duh.


One more spoon? I would settle for another 5 minimum before they come good.

Fark Carlton winning the spoon this year would be extra special given they have traded away their first pick. That’s a lifetime of gags on them.


We shouldn’t take our eyes off the prize, here.
A spoon for Carlton this year with their awesome coach and awesome recruiter would be farking mint.
Never mind the lols to be had at giving away the best kid in the country to Adelaide (how the hell did that happen?), the fallout here would be exquisite.

Even halfway through the year, if they look like finishing bottom, if their St Luigi’s Day is in June…oh my.
Oh my, boys and girls.

They’ll throw the baby out with the bathwater and destroy themselves for a decade.


I reckon they will surprise a lot of people this year. Midfield is starting to look deep and forward line isn’t too bad. I can see them really improving this year and back playing finals in 2021. Unfortunately.


Gees I hope my From Long Range selections are accurate. Pick 1 to 18! Please note I’m realistic and therefore the only win Fark Carlton will have for the season is naturally against us.


13, 18, 14, 16, 18.
You underestimate their ability to fark themselves.
And you totally overestimate their team.
They have some talent, to be sure.
Pazza could take their draft picks and they’d have some talent.

But even the most generous analyst would call Jones VFL, Simpson over the cliff and Thomas totally cooked.
That’s their first choice half back-line.

They’re gonna get destroyed.
It’s gonna get worse the longer the season goes on, and that’s gonna kill their young foot-soldiers that a club like Adelaide wouldn’t debut for two years.


but are we going to beat them?


Depends if we man up their seventh backman.
Not even kidding.

Edit: And you’re a mean man for stirring me.


Meh. Not that fun really. Not sure what HAP gets out of it.


A spoon for them this year wound be glorious.
But they’d probably sack their little midget coach who’s name escapes me.
Do we really want that?

Edit: Bolton!! That’s it


Hope they cop an absolute pasting tonight just to light the fire ever so slightly. Port in Adelaide after that who love a bit of flat-track bullying on their home deck, then the Swans. 0-3 heading in their game against the Suns, a loss there and the Carlturds will be getting restless!


0-4 after GC?
They’ll be more than restless.


They’ll beat Sydney