If I were to use my doctorate in broscience to apply some bropsychology to this, I would suggest that she is afraid of someone she’s in love with hurting her again, and so rather than allow herself to be in love again she has manufactured a reason for breaking it off now.
Ain’t a lot you can do right now. Just continue to be the bloke she fell for. Reach out where you can, be supportive of whatever she decides.
If I were to use my doctorate in broscience to apply some bropsychology to this, I would suggest that she is afraid of someone she's in love with hurting her again, and so rather than allow herself to be in love again she has manufactured a reason for breaking it off now.Ain’t a lot you can do right now. Just continue to be the bloke she fell for. Reach out where you can, be supportive of whatever she decides.
From the snap shot of information it sounds like communication has broken down between you and your girlfriend. She may have been triggered by something which has taken her into a regressed state (the adapted child). If so, she will be responding from a perspective of herself as a wounded child not an adult. This may also trigger you and you may find yourself reacting from a child’s perspective also. Authentic, conscious communication won’t be possible until you are both back to adult mode. This gives the possibility for you both to look at the deeper triggers and the patterns of behaviour set up since early childhood. You have the opportunity to reduce the impact they have on your lives both personally and your relationship. This could be a great time for you both to seek couple or individual counselling to help you through this time.
Good luck 
If you are interested I have some great contacts in this area who work either face to face or via Skype.
pm me if you want any information
best of luck
Zeb,
There is a good internet forum called 'So you’ve been dumped" (google it). Yes the name sounds a bit harsh, buts a good forum with a really excellent community who you can chat through your issues with. I know this because I used it about 5 years ago when I was on the receiving end of a particularly brutal breakup with my partner of 6 years.
Of course you should feel free to chat here too, but consider giving it a go, was one of the best things I ever did when I had my massive break up.
Cheers
If nothing else you have a great basis for a rom com type of movie. Not sure where the happy ending is going to come from but hang in there, it sounds like you are the 80 minute mark of the film and it still has 25 minutes left.
If nothing else you have a great basis for a rom com type of movie. Not sure where the happy ending is going to come from but hang in there, it sounds like you are the 80 minute mark of the film and it still has 25 minutes left.
Your girlfriend sounds quite insecure. You don’t.
not a bad thing or a shot at her, but she’s obviously not comfortable with the fact you still have some sort of care for the ex wife. Thinks by caring and wanting to make her happy you still like her.
I assume anyway, I’m useless as the next guy with this!
Would just try reassuring her? If that’s something you want anyway. You seem like a pretty confident guy.
Your girlfriend sounds quite insecure. You don't.not a bad thing or a shot at her, but she’s obviously not comfortable with the fact you still have some sort of care for the ex wife. Thinks by caring and wanting to make her happy you still like her.
I assume anyway, I’m useless as the next guy with this!
Would just try reassuring her? If that’s something you want anyway. You seem like a pretty confident guy.
Agree.
Zeb, your ex is the mother of your children, she will always be part of your life because of this. Girlfriend needs lots of reassurance that ex is only still part of your life because of the children, not for any other reason.
Wishing you all the best and hope it works out how you want it to work out…
Your girlfriend sounds quite insecure. You don't.not a bad thing or a shot at her, but she’s obviously not comfortable with the fact you still have some sort of care for the ex wife. Thinks by caring and wanting to make her happy you still like her.
I assume anyway, I’m useless as the next guy with this!
Would just try reassuring her? If that’s something you want anyway. You seem like a pretty confident guy.
We were supposed to head up the SE coast of NSW this weekend. She rang me Thursday night and asked if I still wanted to. I asked in what capacity I’d be going.
Long story short she was very apologetic. She explained why she had behaved the way she had, which was pretty much a summary of this thread. We both have some work to do to make it work - I was not completely innocent and can be guilty of some godawful communication sometimes, and my insecurity can also be pretty destructive, same as hers. I really want to do the work. I think she does… I hope she does.
Thanks for letting me rant peeps. It did help.
The weekend was great. Up to Sanctuary Point Friday, visited (and met for first time) her mum, drop her daughter off with dad Friday then back down to Merimbula (the surf and turf at Wheelers was fantastic, and I say that as the son of a Hereford farmer…), and finally back to the big smoke today. Lotsa k’s over 3 days (Berwick to Sanctuary Point, with a 2 hour diversion along the way is a BIG DAY) but no regrets.
good stuff zebba
High Five!
Someone summed it up well, it’s like watching, or well in this case reading a movie. we’ve had high’s and low’s, we’ve had travel, a love triangle, jealous gf bit of hanky panky at work with the boss.
I’m somewhat hooked now and can’t wait for the next installment. What will it be.
PS tis good that things have worked out. As someone who has way too much experience with self doubt I can relate to how hard it can be so good luck and keep fighting on :).
I, cough, temporarily interacted with a woman who was 25 years older than me at the time.
Older girls know stuff.
Have any of you blokes ever dated a girl 10 years older than you?
Have any of you blokes ever dated a girl 10 years older than you?
No, but my best mate did once, and has been living with her for 5 or 6 years now.
Seems to work pretty well for them.
Quoted PostHave any of you blokes ever dated a girl 10 years older than you?I once went out with a girl who was 7 years older than me… I was 24 at the time and she was over 30. It was fine but didn’t work out but not because of the age difference. Are you cougaring it up Stacca?
I haven’t done anything yet!
Quoted PostHave any of you blokes ever dated a girl 10 years older than you?No, but my best mate did once, and has been living with her for 5 or 6 years now.
Seems to work pretty well for them.
Hmmm
Thanks for the replies
I dated a girl 8 years older than me when I was 23. It was good times.
I agree with the sentiment Em, go for it.
