Make it yourself
I have a Victa Corvette (about 1 year old) which only starts first time if Iāve used it within the last couple of weeks.
It doesnt have a primer like my old mower, so two pulls gets it started for some reason.
Two!
So youāre pretty stuffed by the time you even start mowing.
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Beat me to it.
That sounds like way to much hard work.
Would need a beer on a hot day to quench the thirst.
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Go hunt the pig, kill it, etc?
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Saw a method for Nitrate free curing the other day. Thinking about having a crack at it.
Could Victory Bacon everyday without worry then. 
Maybe she means find the pig, capture it, wine and dine it, get a cheap motel room, etc.
A man walked into his bedroom where his wife lay in bed, carrying a duck under his arm.
āThis - this is the pig Iāve been screwing, sweetheartā!
āAh - thatās not a pig, itās a duck, you idiotā, said the wife.
āHeyā, said the man - āI wasnāt talking to youā¦ā
I was gonna give that a like, but then I thought if Mrs D sees it I would have to deal with her.
At that point I wimped it.
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Scon.
Itās scon.
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Youād never say āOh fk I got hit in the Sc-oh-nā ā¦
Yeah but they got their win against us for the year and made us miss finals.
Their feral fans would be satisfied with the season now
Whatās it did with? Iāve always run with the thought of itās not cured with nitrates itās just porkā¦
What if you had a st-ut-ter?
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Just wait until its g-oh-n.
May well be right there. More kind of a ācornedā Pork. They call it āWet Curedā
Iām going to check up more on the details when I catch up with him & buy some next Market, ,ā¦ but it involved soaking in a high salt brine for a few days, ā¦ beetroot, (yes, Beetroot) and then a low & slow smoking ācureā.
Suspect the Beetroot may be involved to replace /reduce what I suspect would likely wind up being a Grey colour to it, as unlike using Celery it contains little to zero natural nitrate.
Proof will be in the eating.
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Corned pork hey
Now now ā¦
Steamed hams
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Thatās a euphemism for boob$