Wrestle-MAN-ia spoilers:
Geez, not a good start when the champion (Buddy Murphy) comes out first. Probably so they can introduce the “local boy” Tony Nese last — catch with that is no one cared, or slightly booed him.
A minute into the match, they cut to an ad (albeit with the match continuing in an insert). Yeah, there’s respect for the belt (shut up, Vince).
Buddy gets his left eye screwed up early. Looks like he has Ronda red racoon makeup.
After a while the crowd start to get interested, especially with the sweet hard strikes sequence.
Fairly inevitable result. Haven’t been watching 205, so can’t tell you if the story was there to support the adequate but hardly epic match. But booooooooo.
(There are too many shows on Wrestlemania weekend. But I’ll watch at least parts of the ones with Adam Brooks in them — hopefully at least one of the pair had a good weekend. There’s one match with Brooks, Australian Suicide, and Robbie Eagles on the same team.)
NOBODY IS READY FOR ASUKA. Except Charlotte, which is why she’s stuck in this pre-show non-televised Battle Royale.
Lana’s Wonder Woman costume was nice, but her eliminating Ember? That’s a demotion.
On the other hand, WTF for Sonia? Long pants and not putting her hair up? Get outta here.
Dana “I had too much surgery on my face” Brookes gets decent pops for eliminating two-thirds of Riott Squad.
OK, that’s just dumb. Sonia has to wait till it’s three left (her, Logan, and Asuka) before she is allowed to “put her hair up”. Pls.
Oh deity. Staten Island Princess hiding outside so we can get the false pop for Logan “winning”. It appears Creative has nothing for Asuka, or for anything but (modest) cheap local pops.
Drink every time they say “history-making”. If you want to die.
Disappointed at the lack of overt chants for Dash as he comes out with Dawson to defend against the Losiest Losers Ever team (and oh deity, they’re both locals). Dash does get a reasonable pop when he first tags in, and the commentary notes “you don’t want to get in a fight with this young man”.
Fark this ■■■■ and fark this booking. The RAW tag team scene is farking embarrassing, even if they win it straight back tomorrow.
Men’s Battle Royale has 600 people (including two random TV “stars”) in it. Ring must be extra reinforced.
Harper vs Strowman is the contractually-obliged hoss stand-off, but goes nowhere. I hope they use Harper properly this time around — guy can go.
Strowman eliminates Luke and Mustafa (screw you and your one-name fetish, WWE) at the same time. That’s some heel ■■■■ right there.
No point describing the last few minutes or winner. That’s 4/4 cheap/obvious results for the pre-show.
Main show starts, and Bliss has changed already. New dress for each appearance?
Oh shiiiiiiiiiiit. I agree with deadpan New Day; get Hogan outta here.
Also Bliss: learn how to actually snap your fingers, or get them to dub the click in.
Lesnar curtain-jerking, and it’s story-driven? LIKE (especially with Heyman interrupting Hulk).
The whole idea of Rollins-as-face cheating via unprovoked punch to Lesnar’s balls to win the (secondary) heavyweight title of the WWE is weird.
I guess we can safely say Lesnar is gone now. The guy is awesomely tralented, but was a massive drag on the WWE week-to-week and one of the reasons RAW was generally awful.
Not sure what distracted the crowd midway through AJ-Orton. But Orton made sure to bring the attention back to the ring.
Kick-out! Seems AJ hadn’t specifically nominated a match versus Orton as a career goal just to eat the RKO and lose.
OK match, some nice moments, but no more.
Yay, Usos on the main card at Wrestlemania…
BEST. CESARO. SWING. EVER.
Ha, a tower of doom where the top guy ends up fine.
I got distracted from the ending by the “dhal + roti” sign… I did just spend six weeks on the subcontinent.
LOL at the Hall of Fame intros: Beefcake gets zero response.
Not minding Shane’s early punches here. And yes, as established yesterday, he’s a fast runner. For the first few minutes, anyway.
Shane’s (unplanned?) drop off the top of the golf buggy was nasty. And now we’re going to somewhere he can fall/be thrown off… ha, Shane wins while sleeping. Nice. Good match; Miz brought the righteous fury and they were both believable.
Wait… are ALL the champions coming out first?
iiConic! Cheap as the win was (albeit perfectly fair) they’re going to be so effing annoying as champions.
(I don’t rate Kay at all, but yay Peyton.)
I don’t know if I’m ready for a concave-chested champion, but so be it. He may also be weightless, as they forgot to announce it (Bryan is 5 pounds over the 205 limit).
‘Tickle the fickle’ sign.
They have a belt (presumably not made of wood and hemp) under velvet at ringside. Spoilers!
Laying it on a bit thick with the endless cuts to the back to show Kofi has support. He should be able to demonstrate why he should win in the ring alone.
Just realised Kofi has pretty much the same black horns as Billy Kay. Good sign?
Outside stuff kept thankfully outside and brief.
Bryan is so awesome. Not many can be the heel and still outwrestle the face (most of the time).
Kicks to the head of the fallen man by both are nasty.
KOFIMANIA, BABY.
Booooo… belt already has the custom plates on it. No anticipation and backstage footage of them being added.
Kofi’s kid climbs the ropes pretty damn easy.
Time for the cooldown match where we retire HHH (joke). Oh wait, I forgot Rey was recovered (maybe).
Yowsers. That was a quick cooldown.
Oh wait, other matches I forgot. Thought this was feeling a bit too easy.
Fark cancer, but McIntyre needs this win sooooo much more than Reigns does. It also sets up an obvious follow-up story: McIntyre retires Ambrose, beats Reigns, and Rollins is champion…
Nope. Short and sweet, and the commentators immediately remind us that this match was not about wrestling or the two wrestlers, it was about anyone who ever had an illness.
The long cooldown continues with Elias. Oh, and crap, Corbin yet to come later.
Thank fark Dr Thuganomics is wearing a hat to hide his hair.
That wasn’t awful.
No pyro in front of Batista for his entrance. I was going to write some abuse on that but then this happened:
https://twitter.com/tde_wrestling/status/1115082607157567488
Seriously, HBK at ringside? HHH is a snake.
“It’s all about the Game ’s entrance …”
When did WWE announce tables become so solid? Too soon, one finally collapses.
Batista has a ridiculously wrinkly head.
Man, there was a lot of air in most of those late big hits.
Alexa: DAMN I forgot she existed/was “hosting”.
Ha, commentators making it clear that Corbin being in the semi-main-event is Angle’s fault, not Creative’s.
Well, with that result they can’t let anyone but Becky win in the main. Would be a really stinky end to a long show.
https://twitter.com/tde_wrestling/status/1115094092378144769
You Never Sucked.
OK, not semi-main-event. Fark, these matches keep coming…
In what sense has “The Demon … brought Balor Club with him to Wrestlemania”? Man they talk rubbish.
Finn sticking his tongue out and growling is… something.
OK, all of the (mostly) inoffensive but ultimately forgettable crap is out of the way now… LET’S DO THIS!
Ha, on the helicopter shot I was half-expecting the camera to pan to the left and reveal Becky and/or Rousy… and then they would start kicking the hell out of each other.
Audio failure!
Phew, Ronda in first, Flair still has a long way to (kayfabe?) walk…
Hmm, no one noticed Rousy enter (and even if they did, we couldn’t hear it). Love ya Joan Jett but FAIL.
AND HERE COMES THE MAN. With zero theatrics, bar some fog jets and a skin-tight top.
And at 12:01am (legit) they ring the bell, and we’re out of the gates at full speed.
Becky’s over-done hair was never going to last.
Audio turned way down after the top rope Bexploder — odd.
Too many spots too commentate on.
Fark me, what happened to the little weirdo’s leg? That is going to be NASTY tomorrow.
The three are down and static for the first time: applaud, you ■■■■■■, because THIS IS AWESOME.
Someone(s) going through a table…
Ooh, that’s quality heel work, as Ronda removes the table.
Is this a Japanese crowd? So quiet.
OK, it’s finally Becky versus the little weirdo (maybe). Let’s go!
Oooooooooh ■■■■. The wrestlers, the ref, or (most likely) Creative botched that finish. FFS FFS FFS. ■■■■ end to a great match.
Definitely not a classic show, but at least they got the winner right for all of the three big titles.