Is it wrong to say I want one of these shows to be heavily rained upon? Bit of wind to cope with/enjoy though.
Neville (c) vs Aries
There’s not necessarily anything wrong with leading with a Cruiserweight match to get the crowd going (who had pretty much all arrived more than an hour before the nominal start of the show), but going to ads during it remains disrespectful.
Damn, Aries, don’t break your freakin’ neck. Both of them are doing Angle’s “playing possum” thing though. Nice top-rope frankensteiner.
Crowd slow to get involved and then they go to a relatively cheap finish courtesy of some Judd-ing by Neville.
(No, not a chicken wing, sadly.)
15 minutes and they certainly didn’t steal the show (well, at least I bloody well hope they didn’t, I write before seeing it).
PayDay Battle Royale
Seriously, Harper eliminated by Jinder and Titus? FFS WWE FFS.
Crowd really appreciated some hairy-backed fatty just arrived in NXT cleanly eliminating Zayn…
I’m not hyped for the primary purpose of the match being a celebrity run-in. But hey, I can watch RPW Evolve etc later if I’m interested in wrestling.
Orlando vs Shane-O-Mac
Only Shane could make a simple backwards jump over a table nearly result in a broken neck. Geeez.
Happily most of Shane’s punches look good.
The crowd are willing to credit Shane’s work but when they briefly alternate punches the loyalties are obvious.
Ref bump, and we can go hardcore. Sooooo surprised. The entrance aisle is so long no replacement ref bothers to come down.
Coast2Coast and (attempted) table splash. I don’t even know what the hell Shane just did to convert a Phenomenal Forearm into a spinning DDT. Props. Shane misses a Shooting Star Press and cops the Forearm on the second attempt. Dead, one two three.
Just over twenty minutes. Clever reversals and planned spots, some very hard hits. I was Sports Entertained, even if it is an insulting waste of AJ.
Jericho (c) vs Owens
Hmmm, I was hoping that when the sun went down the wind would die and stop messing with their amateur mic setup.
At least Corey Graves knows the difference between a Frankensteiner and a hurricanrana.
LOL, one finger on the rope. Troll Owens Troll.
And NEW champion! Enjoy the Fozzy touring, Jericho, you were one of the few good things about RAW (that I didn’t watch).
Bayley (c) vs Charlotte vs Banks vs Jax
FFS. Champion always comes out last. Why do you hate wrestling/tradition so much?
(Pretty sure I know the answer. Charlotte must be getting one hell of an entrance.)
(Nope, a few fireworks aside. They’re just reminding us of the pecking order.)
Hopefully the bookers saw the TakeOver three-way elimination tag match, and understand how to book a monster in that scenario.
Hmm, they did, a little. But they didn’t have the balls to push Nia past the first elimination.
Twelve minutes, for essentially three mini-matches. Yeah nah.
Hall of Fame
‘YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!’ — so much love.
Cass/Enzo vs Cesaro/16 stitches vs Club (c)
LOL, they’re listening to my complaint. Next match New Day add an extra team after the champs come out: oh wait, it’s not themselves, it’s the HARDYS.
Crowd goes full Fark Carlton at this addition to the ladder match.
Matt starts the DELETE chant with a single chop of the air.
Match starts hot, within a minute we have THIS IS AWESOME.
DELETE DELETE DELETE.
I want a ‘fark that owl’ chant. So bad.
Cass does four fantastic big boots in a row.
Jeff is still crazy (he missed the senton a tad, but no damage), and Matt gets to take down the titles.
They never spoke, though Matt did laugh that way.
Maryse & Miz versus The Fakes
LOL, this special guest announcer thinks he’s cool and on the face team’s side. Crowd disagrees.
Miz jumps on the corner ropes at the start to get the crowd cheering for him. He knows who the face team is. He’s working the crowd heavy, and the people in the expensive seats love him as he beats down Cena.
Lawler tries to push the “contrary fans” company line, but JBL is not having any of that. This is bizarre. Lawler is being so obnoxious he’s actually making Maryse the legit face.
MIZ IS AWESOME.
YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! they cheer the kicks.
Finally, a tag. Nikki with a brutal BellaHammer. When Cena comes in for the dual finishers… BOOOOOOO.
Wow, as a match post the first tag… that SUCKED.
Oh dear. Cena has the mic.
It’s maybe 1% of the impact of the Savage/Miss Elizabeth reunion, but hey, the crowd doesn’t ■■■■ on it.
Rollins vs The Destroyer
(I note Samoa Joe wasn’t in the PayDay Battle Royale, so surely gets involved here? I hope he comes through the crowd, ‘cause otherwise that’s a bloody long run-in.)
Yeah, not really inspired by these two. But like the crowd I popped huge for Stephanie’s accidental bump through a table, to signify the end was nigh. She dead.
MUSICAL ■■■■ AND POO BREAK TIME.
Bray (c) vs Orton
Champion out first. I don’t know whether to rage about that or that people still exist that don’t know how to turn on their phone light for his entrance. Thanks to those with a clue, it looked pretty damn good.
That maggot projection was pretty cool. Good on them for not using it in a lesser fashion in the five-and-a-half hours prior to that moment. Funny how the cheap seats got to see it best.
And RKO out of nowhere, not even in a storyline sense. It just… happened.
Oldberg (c) vs BAAAAROCK
2:45 for Oldberg to get to the ring.
Hmm, I wouldn’t say that was much of an ovation for his ring announcement.
First suplex at 7 seconds in. Two more by 16 seconds in.
Lesnar turns his back, turns around, speared at 19 seconds in. Hid well by the director.
Second spear at 30 seconds in. Lesnar rolls out of the ring, something he overtly failed to do in their first match.
At 45 seconds we get the waaaaay over-used spear into the timekeeper’s area. Seriously, stop doing that on every show.
That spear was a bit slow-motion, and Oldberg appeared to accidentally land on/whack his head on the steel structure normally hidden under the padding.
At 90 seconds Lesnar is rolled back in the ring. A few reversals, then a fourth spear at 112 seconds.
Jackhammer at 142 seconds.
Kickout at 145. Uh oh.
YES YES YES YES YES YES the crowd is thinking like me.
At 180 seconds, Brock leapfrogs the incoming spear, with Goldberg eating turnbuckle.
10 seconds later, suplex #4.
There’s a guy dead centre front row doing the official suplex count.
9 seconds later, suplex #5.
8 seconds later, suplex #6.
9 seconds later, suplex #7.
11 seconds later, suplex #8.
16 seconds later, suplex #9.
TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN they implore.
14 seconds later, suplex #TEN.
At 281 seconds in, F5.
At 286 seconds, ONE TWO THREE.
That resembled an actual match
Bliss (c) vs Lynch vs Mickie vs Carmella vs Nattie vs Naomi
Ellsworth’s gear is fantastic.
Continuous action. Highlights include Bliss being insulted that Carmella is in the match, Ellsworth copping an exploder suplex, Naomi botching, Nattie botching…
Can’t say it isn’t fun, though.
Naomi flies onto everyone at ringside, and takes care to only bring the champ back in. She cops a “knockout” forearm from Bliss as reward, but seconds later puts on an odd submission hold that looks hard to break but not painful… and with four others in the match to break it up, Bliss taps. Like, really?
I guess being the 4.5 minute cool-down match before the main event is better than being on the pre-show.
Wait, New Day are still hosts? Worth seeing Xavier’s hair again, I guess, as they announce a kayfabe Citrus Bowl attendance record.
Booman Reigns vs Undertaker
Dis gun be good. But not necessarily in a good way.
Jim Ross is special guest commentator.
Wasn’t a monstrous boo to “welcome” Reigns. It’ll come…
Over a minute from first bell tolling to Undertaking appearing. It takes him another three-and-a-half minutes to get into the ring and take off his hat — WHICH IS AGAIN TOO SMALL, leaving a welt on his forehead.
Match was pretty unremarkable. Taker was mobile early. Then it got slow, and the crowd was mild. Undertaker botches the finish by not turning to face the rebound spear, but Roman wasn’t phased and covered for him.
Ten minutes at the end to formally say goodbye to Taker. Mind you, I remember when Cena left his gear in the ring too. He came back.
Overall: surprisingly little padding, over-the-top entrances, and non-wrestling/celebrities on the main show. Someone’s getting fired.