Reality TV for Morons.
Old timey freak show without the possible shame of being caught staring.
In our extended family there is a story of my cousin when she was about 6.
Took one of her father’s jewellery pieces to school for show and tell. (He was a jeweller and made fantastic pieces).
She came home and proudly told her parents she had traded the jewellery for a whizz fizz plastic ring.
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My oldest was upset at not getting enough bombers footy cards so he made his own set last night at his grandparents.
Full marks to anyone who can name them all
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Is he left-footed, by any chance?
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LOL I only just noticed that - and no he is right footed but he is trying to learn on his left
Is…is that Dylan Shiel?
Momentum!!!
5yo in the Hamilton Is chandlery:
Wow, they’ve got a lot of ropes dad.
Yeah, what are the red and green ones for?
Port and starboard.
Made my day!
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Little kid gave me a hug, yesterday.
“You’re wearing perfume, aren’t you”, he said.
“No it’s deodorant”.
“Nah, it’s perfume!”
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It was perfume, wasn’t it?
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“Daddy, can I get some hot chips?”
“No”
“But daddy, I really need them!”
Compelling argument
“Ok, but don’t tell your mum”
“Ok daddy”
Get home
“Mummy, I had hot chips after swimming”
Spawn of Satan!
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Superb!
Trying to get my young blokes to spend some time out side on school holidays.
“Mate get off the Ipad and go outside”
“But what if I get a splinter? Ipad is way safer”
Fair cop.
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Yeah, with him on this splinters are up there with stubbing your toe.
In my case it’s, “Daddy, can I have an ice cream after swimming?” “Sure, but don’t tell your mum, she thinks you’ll just be having a juice box.”
Then he gets home and his mum offers him a Tim-Tam or something, thinking he’s not had a snack. I have to bite my lip so I don’t get in trouble and watch him score two separate chocolate treats.
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Conniving little brats
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nah that’s fair play if he can work you both over like that without giving anything away, shows a cool nerve
my boy has developed a little habit which drives my missus nuts, whenever she is baking something or giving out treats, if she leaves things out, when her back is turned for even a second he’ll pinch something without her noticing. like a little ninja. she’s on guard duty today being GF day.
the other day she baked 12 muffins before visiting a friend, she left the room for a couple of minutes to get something, didn’t notice till she got out of the car at her destination that there were only 11. managed to get them out even though it was covered in glad wrap and covered his tracks on the scene pretty well by all reports.
I was known for the same thing as a little tacker, and I am so proud I didn’t even have to teach him. although I may have to give him some pointers on disposing of evidence afterwards, wrappers have been known to turn up at times, stops him from achieving the perfect crime. 
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Jnr “do what i say daddy”
Me “is that how how you talk to me?”
Big huff. “Fine. Do what i say please”
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At a playground the other day with a few families, and then other random familes not connected to our group. My young fella needed the loo so he and a mate ran to the public loos. 1 person at a time per room. 1 female, 1 male and 1 disabled. My son’s mate got to the male room 1st and my lad was busting. After watching his uncomfortable dance I checked the crowd and noticing no-one who would be inconvenienced I said to him to use the disabled one.
In the way only a child can get away with, he replied loudly " Bit I’m not unstable"
Not very PC but got a few chuckles around the playground.
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Mrs Wim be post surg.
Mrs Wim: I’ll get my own drink, then.
Me: I have failed.
LMW: Noooo.
Me: Yeah, I have.
LMW: Little bit.