This morning I was lifting the tab on a new cereal box with the handle of a spoon. 6 year old son was watching.
“Daddy, is that a knife?”
“No, it’s the other end of a spoon. Good, yeah?”
“That’s the worst use of the other end of a spoon I’ve ever seen!”
“Well, what other things have you seen the other end of a spoon used for?”
“Umm… scratching an itchy bottom.”
“Honey! We need to wash all the spoons!”
Miss 5 “wouldn’t it be cool if a person could take their heart out and give it to a house and make the house come alive”
I think your only issue here is that if he has seen it, he probably wasn’t doing it, which means it was likely someone else.
“Honey” might just be a prime suspect!
I genuinely laughed extremely loudly at this post, family thought I was going mad. Thanks.
Haha! I didn’t dare ask for any more info.
Reminds me of this situation.
Me: “what are you doing with that spoon???”
“It’s OK. It’s only scratching me down me undies, it’s not up my bum!”
The mrs set up a playdate with a friend of my 6yo. Unfortunately the 2 (my daughter and her friend) had argued earlier that day so the idea was not popular.
6yo “Why did you invite her to play with me?”
Mrs “Well, I was walking with her mum and we thought it would be a good idea.”
6yo " It is NOT a good idea and see, if you hadn’t been so chatty with her mum we would all be ok"
Miss 7: Dadda, I just saw the world’s cutest baby, but don’t tell Augie (2-year-old brother) cause he still likes to think he is.
Mrs TB and I took the 3yo daughter for a rare treat for dinner at “the big M” and a play on their playground.
While she was playing I said to the wife, “I’ll watch her, you go grab those 2 donuts at the cafe for us later” (Surprisingly good donuts by the way)
Donuts bought, hidden away in brown paper bags.
3yo comes in, “Whats that?”
Me: “nothing, just rubbish”
3yo “Can I SEEEEEE”
Me looking towards Mrs TB pained, “no sweetie, it’s rubbish, why would you want to look at rubbish”
3yo “can I seee ittttt, I want to see it”
Me in frustration I change strategy, “sweetheart, it’s a treaty for charlie (the dog)”
Unfazed 3yo “Let me see it, I want to see ittttt”.
Me: “Fine, here”
I quickly thrust the paper bag, slightly open the end for a half glace and put it back on the table.
3yo, “MMMMmmm, charlie is going to LOVE donuts”
Can I ask perhaps a silly question ?
Why would you not tell your child the truth ?
Duh… They wanted the doughnuts!
He wants the kid to go into politics.
I am a great campaign manager.
Never lost an election, except for me !
This happened Friday at school drop off… Jnr needed to poo and we were too early for school so I took him to “b4 school care” where I knew there were toilets, but only the girls was empty (single toilet). In he goes and I’m standing in the hallway checking on him (wipe your bum, wash your hands, etc). Out he comes and as we leave to go outside 2 little girls go into the girls and I hear them say “ewwwww gross hahaha look at that ewwwww!!”.
I ask Jnr “did you flush?” and he thinks really hard and tells me he might have forgotten…
I said “that’s really gross, what if some sees that?”
He gives the cheekiest grin I’ve seen yet and says “I THINK THEY JUST DID LOL 
“
Miss 7 was annoyed today that Miss 10 was getting to go for a sleep over at a friends house.
The friends came over to pick her up and I said “bye, have a good time” and Miss 7 pipes up with “No, don’t have a good time!”
Jerk
Nurse to 8 y.o.
‘o.m.g. I love your shoes! Pink is my favourite colour!’
‘These are rose gold.’
When Mr 8 had just turned 3 we moved from a 400m2 block to our current acreage block. He quickly discovered to delights of peeing outside.
One day he ran past the 3 toilets in our house to tell me couldn’t possibly make it to the loo and had to do a “grass wee” then promptly ran back passed the 3 loos to head outside.
This was all a good chuckle (once we stopped him doing right outside the front door) until my wife took him to a friends house for a play and he took it to the next level - yep…he shat on their lawn.
Technically correct is the best kind of correct.
That reminds me…don’t go into the dunnies at Gateway Warrnambool for a couple of days.
Winner
