Things yer little uns say


“Daddy can you not sit there, you’re blocking my view of those girls playing”

If this is what he’s like at 6…


My 5 year old wants to be PM. Insisted i take him to Parliament House.


They’d be a huge improvement on the current options.

I’d vote for them, or support a coup. Would that make you chief of staff to our new overlord PM? Or would you be replaced for your insubordination in not taking them immediately to PH.


Miss almost 4 playing “farm”. Those little people are for sale…


We walked past the PM portraits. I told him who i liked and disliked. We got to Abbott and he said “i knowwww you don’t like him” without me needing to say anthing. He’s paying attention.


We walked past the PM portraits. I told him who i liked and disliked. We got to Abbott and he said “i knowwww you don’t like him” without me needing to say anthing. He’s paying attention.


Did she happen to say how much she wanted?


Was at my sister’s place the other day and she was teaching her son, my 3 year old nephew, how to pick peas.
So he held the stalk part, and with a bit of effort, he tugged at the pea pod, and after a bit of pulling, it came off and he accidentally socked himself in the forehead… He paused for a second, and then with a huge grin he says; “Wow, I didn’t see that coming!!”



“How much for the little girl?.. the women … how much for the women?”

“Your women… I want to buy your women… the little girl, your daughters… sell them to me… sell me your children…”


Takes it from her dad and the fact that he works for one of the big 4.


I didn’t ask, I was just glad she didn’t pick any of the black little people to be “animals” for sale.


Fair point.


Was trying to explain to the kids what dial tone to listen for before you dial out on an old landline.

Figured Yourube would be able to help. This is just like having your very own grandad explain dial tones for you.


My 7yo has decided that I “need to start acting like a dad, not a kid”. The last 3 times she has had friends over she has taken me aside to say those exact words to me. Who would have thought making funny faces was so frowned upon!


I was droping miss 6 off at school today, she’s in prep. There is a rather attractive grade one teacher across the hall who often catches the eye. This morning I saw no less than 3 of her young male students arrive and grab a cuddle on the way in and plant their faces right in her chest. I had to chuckle.


Miss 4 year old niece, “Is that your real hair?” Yes it is. “You should wear some made up of someone else’s hair.” Do you mean a wig? “No not one of those little hairy things old men wear!” That’s called a Toupee. “What a stupid name for hair.” When you are four I guess it is?


l have spent the last couple of days having my wife’s 2 year old niece in the house. Keeping in mind that English is not her first language, and she has had very little exposure to it, she does appear to have a gift for it. She has picked up a few of our pet phrases very quickly like, 'yes and okay (although she struggles with the hand sign). Her best effort though is, ‘no cry baby.’ A phrase we first coined for her 6 yo niece, who is a bit of a sook.


When explaining to miss almost 4 that Santa was unlikely to bring her 6 month old sister any food treats this year. “He should bring them and I’ll show her how to eat them”.


Happened to whisper into 8yo’s ear.
Stop dad, you’re fogging up my ear!


Question of etiquette
there’s a bunch of about 4 neighbour kids. The parents let em basically roam around the street between school and dinner time. They have recently become obsessed with doggo P and also young Mr P whenever we’re either playing out the front or out for walks.

The kids are fine in and of themselves but what’s the right/polite way to get em to rack off? And not to assume that cos I live next door, and they’ve followed me down the street, I’m supervising them?

Do I talk to the parents?