Yeah. Good one.
Yeah Fark you.
Funny stuff.
Cheers.
Nah but seriously, a grown up man hitting a 2 year old is hilarious.
What about a 2 year old hitting a grown man?
That’s basically how I’m woken up every morning.
Cue “grown” jokes 
2 Likes
That leap onto your bollocks while you’re sound asleep and having to restrain yourself from swearing or even seeming in any way cross is something you don’t forget.
It’s great fun when the smash straight into your nads to wake you up out of a deep sleep innit?
Fk me…
Snap.
1 Like
Our kids just hated us, … 
Little ■■■■■■’s latest game is “tunnel”.
He runs along pushing his dump truck toy as fast as he can and goes “through” your legs.
Basically headbutting your nads at full pelt.
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Daddy: where are you going miss 3?
Miss 3: nothing!
Oh really…
She was slinking off with some lip balm with the intention of painting her face, it’s a thing at the moment, it’s disgusting
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Miss 3 is very in touch with the dictates of her stomach at the moment.
Slipping into our bed well before alarm o’clock and asking for breakfast, me pleading with her to nap a little longer, miss 3 “sorry daddy but my belly is too awake”
Mrs Ivan asking her to walk to the cafe with her, miss 3 “sorry my belly doesn’t want to”
Shortly after “Daddy my belly wants to watch tv”
6 Likes
I have to admit I am proud of my youngest but equally worried about my oldest who was convinced by my 5YO that a fair deal was for the 5YO to give him all his money and then the 7YO had to give him all his money back. So now the 5YO has both their money.
5 Likes
I just overheard my 9 year old tell his 7 year old sister (in a fairly decent north England accent actually!) “you know nothing [sister] Snow!” He has no idea where the line is from, but has heard me say it enough and he absolutely nailed the context too! GoT just keeps on giving…
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Came home from work to see a hand made card on the table and considering it was birthday last weekend and it’s father day this weekend I thought there is a reasonable chance it was for me.
Front of the card says something like buona festa del papà, so still feeling pretty good and narrowed it down to my 7 year old who is learning Italian at school. Inside page is a picture which could be anyone but does seem to have more hair than me (considering I am bald) but I find it is hard to tell in a lot of these pictures so I am still feeling pretty good. Move onto the personal note “Thanks Sebastian for making me laugh” a nice little inscription which would have been nicer if I was Sebastian, but Sebastian is his 5 year old brother.
So I head into the back yard to question him and apparently I have had enough celebrations. So yes the card is a Father’s Day card but his little brother deserves it more because he has been really funny lately.
17 Likes
Checking out rental properties with the kids a while back
Kid A to the estate agent - can I have a fish tank at this house?
Agent - yes, you don’t need approval for a pet in a tank
Kid A - so I could have a snake in a tank?
Agent -yes you can
Kid A - what about if I get a really big tank and a horse can fit in it. Can I have a pet horse?
Agent - ahhhhh… well… yes… yes you could have a horse I guess
16 Likes
How much would you have to pony up for a horse?
Imagine you would need a stable income at the very least.