The winner
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Where’s the Maltese version?
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I’ll ask my mum. Won’t be dissimilar.
Mum is in Malta at the moment and visited her aunt who owns a shop and some customers were coming in right as she was mopping up to close for siesta and my grat aunt said very loudly wirds to the effect " now they ■■■■■■■ conun. FFS. " customers quickly left. LOL.
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Playing Uno with my 4yo, beats me 3 games in a row. Answers “Sorry mummy, it’s just what I do”
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Ford day of December. One kid wearing reindeer antlers to school, the other one chooses the family Thursday night movie, Die Hard. Christmas is definitely for the kids.
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Miss 5 YO finds a coin down the back of the couch.
Excitedly she says “ I can add this to the ones in my treasure chest!”
Miss 7 YO slithers by, looks at me with a devious grin and says “Just found my next heist!”
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This reminds me of a meeting l had with a little guy about the same age in Kashmir many years ago. We had not one common word of language between us, but he sure did vent at me for a full minute at least, with a full array of gestures. He was on the point of tears but held them in, it must have been a very serious issue for the little guy.
Yesterday l had a grade 1 class in the afternoon for computers. I have them making e cards for Christmas. We went through an app and got to the stickers button. I told them there were 2 stickers they couldn’t use, a cigarette, because Santa doesn’t smoke, and a dog turd. Ten minutes later one little Miss comes up and declares she has found a big juicy pink butt and is going to use it in her card! Close examination showed that this sticker was actually a peach, but there was a strong resemblance to the posterior.
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I was getting some chips ready to throw on the bbq. 5 year old points at the translucent part of the chop and said what’s that? My response: just a piece of membrane that holds the two pieces together. Satisfied, he walks off and starts singing…. Chuffed!
Playing Cards Against Humanity. (Family Edition).
The black card says “Where do babies come from?”
Now, the young one (age 9) has very little concept of this. He has some fairly rudimentary information about how it grows inside Mama’s tummy and a few other things, but we have not really had “the chat” yet, nor has he had much about it at school yet.
So imagine our reaction when he plays this card: “Balls”
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Been feeling a bit crook over the past few days so that had lead me to snoring at night to Mrs TeeBee’s misfortune. Last night she grabbed her pillow and jumped into bed with little miss 8 whom we’ve discovered is a bit of a sleep talker. Sometime during the night LM8 rolled over and whispered in mrs teebees ear and said in a voice that would match any horror movie, “I know I am poisonous…”
MrsTeeBee didn’t get a wink of sleep last night.
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“Mummy, for Christmas, can you buy a potato?”
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Watching the game with little Miss ASB 3.5 years…Hey Benny,Benny!! that Bomber touched the ball!!! with much excitement
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Miss 7 yo: “Dad, I’m allowed to barrack for Collingwood now.”
Me: “YOU ARE NOT!”
Miss 7 yo: “But Dad……!”
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Classic Tim and Eric. Their father/son sketches were brilliant.
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Context is everything. I’ve had to drive my daughter and my 7 year old granddaughter to Monash Medical Centre several times and prior to today they were difficult drives home. My granddaughter was diagnosed with underdeveloped hips early on and has had 2 lengthy periods in hefty hip braces. The first time when she was a baby was difficult to deal with but the second time, when they had said she’d probably be OK, appeared to be devastating, only allowed out of the brace one hour a day for what must have been six months. As it turned out my granddaughter adapted far more readily than I did. Still treasure the vid I have of her using her walker toy to walk towards me fully braced up and beaming.
After the 6 months they said she was much improved and to come back in a few years. Then Covid hit and the appointment was delayed. Only just got back today from the final check and the great news is her hips are now fine. Such a relief because if they hadn’t been, surgery was the next step. Hate to think there are kids out there who weren’t so lucky. Lots of stress relieved for my daughter but my granddaughter had different things on her mind.
She was in the back of the car listening to adults talking seriously in the front and refusing to answer when I asked her how she went, didn’t like the Xray experience at all. Then she piped up.
“Granddad! Blah blah blah etc.”
My daughter said, “Don’t be silly.”
Now I’m basically deaf if you’re in the back seat and so I turned to my daughter who was stifling a smirk and said, “What was that?”
My daughter said, “She said, Granddad, if you pass a trampoline store on the way home, please stop.”
Sure you know, but if not, kids with hip issues aren’t allowed to trampoline.
Almost crapped myself.
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So I ask Miss 7 yo to get the sauce from the fridge.
She replies as straight forward as possible - “Which one? ■■■■ the Bed or Masterfoods?”
Not quite believing what I’d heard, I say to my wife - “I thought Maisie just said ■■■■ the bed”
“She did” my wife said, “I bought it yesterday”.
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So many things I could’ve posted in here from my 3yo, but this one I couldn’t not post…
He was crying and wouldn’t go to sleep. I came up and asked him why he couldn’t sleep.
“I just want to watch the Bombers with you”
I said, don’t worry, they play Sunday. It’s only Collingwood on now, we don’t care about them 
Then he rolled over and went to sleep.
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I don’t have a funny anecdote - just wanted to say how proud I am of my little boy who has become enraptured with singing and is really very good. He’s not that little. But he’s just found a little bit of joy that he really needs. He sends me these singing clips he’s making, and has just taken up singing lessons. It may be because I’m his dad - but he is actually terrific.
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