This thread has been quiet for too long.
My 3 year old singing the beasties.
Intergalactic dairy dairy, dairy dairy intergalactic.
also very large gentleman walks into physio waiting room, 3 year old, very loudly, daddy that man really needs to poo, (sshhhh little miss ivan) but he is really fat.
My kids are adults now (still say stupid things), but I remember the youngest, when around 6 years old. He was on the couch watching wrestling or something, I was cooking:
Dad, when I grow up, will I be as big as you?
Yep, I reckon you’ll be bigger, actually. You’re already growing up so fast.
No dad, I mean my tummy…
little shiithead
I copped it this morning.
7 year old daughter breaks into song:
“Daddy’s really tall, and Daddy’s got a big bottom.”
First time I think I’ve been sledged in song…
When my son was not yet 3yo, we were at a Macca’s sitting outside near the playground.
He’d found a friend, a young girl that he had been playing with for 5 or so minutes.
Now, as a lonely child, he was quite possessive when it came to making a new friend.
The young girl began to walk away from the playground, possibly because the food was ready, and she’d been called by her parents.
The next thing I hear from bltn jnr is…
" where do you think your going ? "
It’s become one of my favourite lines to use with him, even though he doesn’t remember it.
"nana G, you smell like potatoes"
Still my favourite mother in law sledge…
Young fella last night said “Hey Dad, on My Kitchen Rules imagine they take the person who loses the cook off outside and kills them”
Ummmmmmm, yeh mate. Imagine that hey…?
Young fella last night said "Hey Dad, on My Kitchen Rules imagine they take the person who loses the cook off outside and kills them"Ummmmmmm, yeh mate. Imagine that hey…?
I’d watch it. You should pitch it to Channel 7.
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My little boy had itchy nads and had scratched em red raw. We got some special cream and the next morning I took a look and saw they were healing very nicely. We had the following exchange:
Me: wow, that looks ok now!
Son: yeah! Now the willy is ok, all the kids will say, “well done Daddy!”
Me: The kids? What kids? The kids at kinder?
Son: Yeah, the kids at kinder will be excited. They will think, “That willy is NICE!”
We had a little talk about not showing your willy to the kids at kinder, nice or not.
Is it normal for a 4 year old to trash talk their father over totem tennis? Because that’s what I got over the weekend.
Young fella last night said "Hey Dad, on My Kitchen Rules imagine they take the person who loses the cook off outside and kills them"Ummmmmmm, yeh mate. Imagine that hey…?
I’d watch it. You should pitch it to Channel 7.
He’s only seven, so might have to keep an eye on him.
Isn’t letting your kid watch MKR a form of child abuse? 
Young fella last night said "Hey Dad, on My Kitchen Rules imagine they take the person who loses the cook off outside and kills them"Ummmmmmm, yeh mate. Imagine that hey…?
I’d watch it. You should pitch it to Channel 7.
Just shoot those farkin ridiculous self-important toffy-arsed judges, and even i would watch it.
Where has this thread been???
I think it’s now my favourite on Blitz.
Where has this thread been??? I think it's now my favourite on Blitz.
Yeah, I’d completely missed this one too. Had a great time reading it last night.
There’s almost a book here.
The school I work at had an AFL visit the other week from 2 hawthorn players. One of our more “challenging” grade 1 boys went up to Cyril and promptly told him “You’re not a real football player, only Essendon is real!”
Damn straight
One night I came home just after my son was put to bed. He was still awake so I went in to say good night. As I stood in the doorway he quietly said "Daddy I need to tell you something "
I went in the room and sat on his bed. “yes?”
“Daddy, you’re ugly” he says. So glad I went in for that.
Yossarian junior with some sagely advice to his brother:
“if you sit down to wee too much you will turn into a girl”
Yossarian junior with some sagely advice to his brother: "if you sit down to wee too much you will turn into a girl"
I really like Yossarian Junior.
Some recent stuff that made me chuckle 
"My friend George has two sisters and one brother, and one of his sisters has three brothers "
“It’s ok to be bitten by a spider if your name’s Peter Parker”
And the closing to baa baa black sheep
“one for the master one for the dame and one for the little boy who lives in your bum”