W@nkword Bingo

General Gibberish Forums The Dog's Breakfast
61

Low hanging fruit

God it makes me cringe to type that. Aagh

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62

A few of us actually print out “W@nkword Bingo” cards for when we get stuck with having to attend these meetings. Only thing missing is the arthritis friendly large markers. Never filled a card but got within 2 words the other day which is a best result so far.
Helps ease the pain while people network, have visibility and assimilate ideas.
My next personal challenge is to make up my own ridiculous phrase and see if I can get it to become part of the standard vernacular.

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63

In a previous career, I named all hotel artwork ‘shart’ - meaning, the obvious.
It stuck (heh) and I am proud to say, it became an industry standard.

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64

This isnt necessarily a work term, but nowadays saying something is “on point” is in vogue.

farking hate it.

Just say “perfect” or “exactly” or something. fark.

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Used to have these monthly sales rep meetings. Every single meeting without fail, the national manager would have some load of toss that he had come up with. It would always begin with ‘right we need to do is; A) Start to focus more on our bigger customers…’ and so on.

Not once, NOT ONCE, was there ever a B), C) or even a D).

66

ha ha!

Funny thread. Glad I don’t have to experience this type of mediocrity in my jobs.

Could I recommend you read Don Watson’s “Weasel Words” book. It may be more directed to politicians, but after what you have been posting here, you may well like it.

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67

“Let’s “Workshop” that”

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Must be careful talking with this person, they have a “litigious” nature :see_no_evil:

69

“Forward Planning”. Pretty hard to plan in reverse.

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70

Meetings are the biggest time wasters in the modern workplace. We’re way beyond the day when you have to get people together in a room to have a discussion.

Successul meetings should have an agenda and an outcome. Without these two things there is simply no point.

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Swings & Roundabouts.

DOES MY FARKING HEAD IN EVERYTIME!!!

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72

Reset parameters - “I don’t like what you’re saying/proposing”
KPI’s - “what is your job?”
Potentiate - even more w@nky than “potential”
Strategic - (never tactically)
Worlds’ best practice - 260 odd countries to choose from here - can’t go wrong

73

you talk with james hird?

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C U IN COURT ■■■■■

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The University of Western Australia’s slogan at one time was “world’s best practice is our minimum standard”.

So I suppose they were going for galaxy’s best practice.

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76

Deakin had an ad where they were in a plane and some random text showed up and it finished with ‘deakin, worldly’ or something as horrid as that.

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More genocidal than Rwanda - worlds best practice

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78

Lol perfect. Our work calls the ‘concierge’.

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Lol.

Pretty sure most places now have their own version of twitter and staff are pressured to share ideas and #HASHTAG stuff on it.

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A common occurrence in my workplace

Top brass: simmo41, can you please schedule a meeting for [relevant staff] to go over [topic]?
simmo41: Sure thing, just shoot through an agenda and I’ll make it happen

…two weeks later…

Top brass: Why hasn’t that meeting happened?
simmo41: Never got an agenda, so I assumed there was nothing to go over, therefore no meeting

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