Always leave a little salt on the bread, my friend…
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Upgraded the doona. This things is amazing, goose down and feather. 50 seconds in a cold bed it’s perfect, but fk me, wake up every 30 minutes too damn hot!!!
How do geese sleep at night?
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Under a human skin rug:
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By swallowing the proper gander just before bedtime.
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Would of thought this was obvious.
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It’s means goddammit…MEANS. Drives me crazy!!!#
#not really
Just jokes… Agree with your sentiment!
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I hate all grammatical errors except for two…which I think are a result of English grammarians trying to adapt European grammar to English.
The first is when they tell you to never split an infinitive. The reason for that is that infinitives in European language are a single word (to love = aimer (French), amar or querer (Spanish), amare (Latin) or lieben (German)). In English, it’s two words and therefore capable of being split.
The second is saying you can’t end a sentence with a preposition. In English, a verb is often a composite of a verb and one or more prepositions, eg set upon, set out…or put up with. Trying to rearrange the separate words is cumbersome. German does it better by attaching prefixes to the verb form.
Naturally, misuse of apostrophes or using subject pronouns after a preposition, eg ‘for he’ instead of ‘for him’ drive me mad most.
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They stick their legs out 
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You meant that right?
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Re not ending sentences with prepositions, I worked with a clever man who once said, ‘That is something up with which I will not put.’
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Famous Churchill quote, but allegedly everything witty that’s ever been said was said by Churchill and Menzies.
Or the English professor who was jailed for serious misdemeanours (probably for making plurals with an apostrophe), when the warder’s wife took a fancy to him, and offered to get him out of jail early if he fulfilled her sexual desires. He refused on the grounds that it’s improper to end a sentence with a proposition.
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A snobbish English teacher was sitting in an Atlanta airport coffee shop waiting for her flight back to Connecticut, when a friendly Southern Belle sat down next to her.
“Where y’all goin’ to?” asked the Southern Belle.
Turning her nose in the air, the snob replied “I don’t answer people who end their sentences with prepositions.”
The Southern Belle thought a moment, and tried again.
“Where y’all goin’ to, B.I.T.C.H?”.
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Classic. 
I’d heard black student at Princeton talking to preppy and suffixing the sentence with a.s.s.hole.
People who get in contact with you about job opportunities, then don’t get in contact for another 2 months. Absolutely ■■■■■■ me off!
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Sydney airport security staff. Farking slow and incompetent.
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Slow and incompetent is actually a job requirement for airport security staff.
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The Hells Angels and Comancheros say hello. 
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Spilt milk.
I don’t cry over it but gee it f#cks me off that I can’t pour a cup of tea or make a bowl of cereal without leaving a milk ring.
Unco prick I am.
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This was the worst when trying to find employment. I had to drop in resumes and cold call companies as part of my Newstart allowance.
Centerlink ■■■■■■: You called all these companies and no call back?
Me: Yep
Centerlink: And they never replied? Are you sure these are legit?
Me in my head: Call them and find out you incompetent ■■■■■■■■.
On another tangent: I hated the job agencies Centerlink align with. I was with the Salvation Army. I had just finished university and was unable to get a job in my field (lack of supply in jobs and demand to get into the field was higher). So was stuck doing casual relief jobs while each interview I went for had 60-70 applicants.
Salvation Army job people did Sweet F-all. Basically couldn’t help me write my selection Criteria or job resume as it was aligned to that specific job field and no jobs were available outside of Recruitment Online where all the jobs had to be advertised through.
They tried to get me to work as bar tender or waiter but I refused and told them I didn’t just spend 4 years studying to work as a waiter.
Centerlink acted like I was ungrateful and should be open to working anywhere. I said I was open to working anywhere up to an hour in travel… as long as it was in my field of profession.
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