What's your funniest Essendon story

Feel like we need some light humour

So what’s your funniest Essendon story either at a game or overheard by a player or coach at training etc. Need some laughs

I worked at the club part-time many years ago for six months. Peter Sommervile was having injury problems and was told by the doc to go see a rheumatologist. To which Somer replied “What’s that c**$ do, start rumours?”

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In the late eighties a mate worked in the fitness department and told me a couple of good ones. No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t get Vander into the gym to do weights, the reply was always the same “with a body like mine who needs to do weights?” My mate said he couldn’t argue with that.
Another was the day Sheedy asked him to put together a tape so the players could exercise to music and suggested a few tracks to use. Anyway the stereo was blaring when Slug Jordan walked in to “YMCA” and immediately demanded "who selected this shiit. Sheeds simply said “me, any problems?” Slug walked away muttering something about fairies.

At an Essendon family day circa 90/91 was about 8 at the time, Timmy Watson came over to our group after to give some advice to us kids, we were all absolutely awestruck and in silence,his advice?
“Boys, always keep your eyes on the ball…otherwise it’ll hit you in the nutts”

bought tickets to my first finals series in 2011 thinking we would beat carlton.

bought tickets to my first finals series in 2011 thinking we would beat carlton.

Ha that day sucked. My father decided to take us to the MCG by going up Flemington Rd and Elizabeth St, which the whole of Essendon and Moonee Ponds were doing. Needless to say myself and the bro had to get out of the car and run to the MCG. Was not worth the effort.

bought tickets to my first finals series in 2011 thinking we would beat carlton.

By the end of that game, I’d already moved from disappointment to plain boredom. Best seats I’ve ever had at a game and I sat there watching seagulls for the last quarter. Couldn’t believe I was so close to the seagulls who are on the telly! Is that funny?

That game at Port Melbourne Oval where Jay “silent non-achiever” Nash was destroying Shane “waaaaah” Harvey. Jay had kicked a couple goals from the midfield while playing against Shane (prompting much singing of “heeeeeeey hey Harvey, ooh ahh, I wanna knoooooow… did you see that goal?”)

Anyway, Jay comes off the bench and I naturally yell “go to full forward!” – and he turns ninety degrees and does so! He ran twenty metres before wondering who the hell said that and why ten people on the boundary are absolutely corpsing themselves over his action.

(That day also featured a Hird Jr in his Peter Pan costume. Innocent days.)

‘I don’t like this, I’ve got a bad feeling about today, I’m too nervous to watch’ said an Essendon supporter next to me at the Gold Coast game in 2011, the first time we played them.

LOL

'I don't like this, I've got a bad feeling about today, I'm too nervous to watch' said an Essendon supporter next to me at the Gold Coast game in 2011, the first time we played them.

LOL


Reimers says SHHH.

Living in Hobart, I try to get to a couple of games each year. I Haven’t seen Essendon win since 2009.

OK, not so funny. But it is turning into a joke.

What about being at the trading table with Freo?

We’ll take Lloyd and Lucas. Let’s see…you can have, Delaney, Kickett, Ridley, and a couple of spuds…

Can you imagine saying that with a straight face?

  1. The Bombres banner.
  2. Justin Madden’s first day back at Windy Hill after defecting to the scum. Gets dragged and pretends to run to the Essendon bench, does a massive face palm then turns back to run to the Fark Carlton bench. Funny man.
  3. This one is totally wrong, but I was 21 and ■■■■■■ and found it hilarious: Windy Hill (again) mid 1985, two months after the Bradford disaster. The hot dog stand behind the scoreboard goes up in flames, the kid selling hot dogs runs for his life and the willow tree yobs (ancestors to the grog squad) start chanting “Braaaaadford”.

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Living in Hobart, I try to get to a couple of games each year. I Haven't seen Essendon win since 2009.

OK, not so funny. But it is turning into a joke.

You too, hey? I think my last win was a pre-season game against St Kilda when Sheeds was still coaching!

Nothing to say Tinhill??

Feb 4th 2013

“This is all a storm in a teacup, it’ll blow over soon. The AFL will cover it up thank God.”

Feb 4th 2013

“This is all a storm in a teacup, it’ll blow over soon. The AFL will cover it up thank God.”

dude its the funny story thread, not the depressing put a revolver in your mouth thread

I once got excited at something Watson Jr. did and then dropped my entire beer down the back of a eight-year old Carlton fan’s back … I think my face would have been pretty funny at that moment

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