The Reboot - the 2023 VFLW season summary

[theDJR]

ROUND 2 vs the Saints

VFLW - Round 2 vs Saints @ Trevor Barker Oval, 3pm Sun 2 April 2023

This is the main event after the VFL game starting at noon. No warm-ups for you! Stream etc will be at:

@theDJR

Mia-Rae is busy. Game is Saturday @ 12:05

And then

@PH_WARFRadio

Side note: Fede Frew has been named for Port Melbourne this round…

Two days out from the “oldies” AFLW draft, and Sutton plays for the Cannons. Boo.

@theDJR

This will be the first game since 6 July 2019 in which Ugle is our sole captain.

She also draws equal with Heil on 57 games for us. Nalder sits on top with 58 games… for now.

Manfre is a late omission due to illness, and Tay Hart-Aluni debuts in her place.

Crappy scheduling after the VFLM game (don’t ask, that game was awful) means we don’t get to warm up properly. I blame the loss here on that.

@theDJR

Casey lead Darebin 41-1… at quarter time!!!

Casey would go on to set the VFLW highest score record (130).

Tierney gets smashed early, first in the head and then in the ankle. That ends her day.

@theDJR

Umps are VFL-quality, for those who watched the game before this.

Sargent kicks our first two goals.

@theDJR

Our AFLW full forward appreciates what our VFLW full forward just did.

Ex-Saint Vogt, less so.

@PH_WARFRadio

@miss_ellie

How great to just watch the match with NO commentary, should be more of it.

We dominate the third quarter, but fail to convert.

Ugle gets a 41m penalty (from 56 out to 15m out – how can you get that wrong?!?) and rushes her kick. She misses, there is an 11-point turnaround, we trail 16-22, and we never get control back again. The Saints get on a roll in the last ten minutes, and roll us 17-42. Helped by some ridiculous umpiring, including one where Crook knocks the ball forward a metre and a Saint “marks” it to goal.

@theDJR

Arguably the best part of the day was Meg Ryan’s continued improvement. While last week was decent, this was easily her most complete game.

She had a game-high 8 clearances (Barba was our next best with 3), 7 tackles, and despite her usual aggression went 2-0 for frees as a nice bonus.

Barba applauds a Dicker/Hart-Aluni tackle. Alana needed a lot more midfield help in this game.

@theDJR

Strahan cracks the ■■■■■ just before 7 minutes in when she concedes a mark. Proceeds to stand on the mark and not take her hands off her hips. That’s ■■■■■■■ poor.

But I give lots of love to Bella Clarke for bashing the Saint’s biggest player (who afterwards is too scared to watch the play rather than Bella) and their smallest. Equal opportunity white-line-fever.

[theDJR]

ROUND 3 vs FCFC

VFLW - Round 3 vs FCFC @ The Hangar, 1pm Sat 8 April 2023

[image] Previous matches: Year-Round For Against Margin 2018-14 17 92 -75 2019-04 32 15 17 2021-09 72 19 53 2022-03 79 27 52 2022-08 61 15 46

Marianna Anthony gets oldie-drafted to FCFC, but doesn’t play in this game against us.

Sophie Molan and Chloe Prpic debut for us.

Mia Busch is out of the game, injured, in the opening minutes.

We hold a dominant FCFC to 0-3 in the first quarter, and brawl with them on the siren. Dicker pulls the entire pack over.

@PH_WARFRadio thinks I’m an ■■■■■■■■, but I’ll stand by this one:

@theDJR

@PH_WARFRadio

@theDJR

Ryan starting forward. Cornish to “ruck”.

“Pastie” has three hit outs already.

They have 23!

Sheep girl is having her VFLW debut for us (she played for Geelong the previous season as an U18, and from that I knew enough to simply post “GUN” when we drafted her).

@theDJR

GreatScott gets a one-on-one, and GOALS.

Sequence started with HartAluni going on a run on the wing after breaking a tackle.

Kodi Jacques (also her VFLW debut with us) is leading the clearances at half-time, but the FCFC mids are running all over us outside the packs. Luckily Molan is taking saving marks at CHB.

@theDJR

Can we drop Strahan yet?

Ignores opponent to concede mark 15 out.

it’s 1.2.8 trailing 3.8.26 at the final break, and is about to become much worse.

@theDJR

We get sucked into the contest and FCFC stay outside and murder us, over and over again.

8-42

Doonan has plenty of centre clearances and also kicks our second goal.

Scott is caught trying to sell candy.

@PH_WARFRadio

Scotty has done that a couple of times today.

Needs a word in the ear from the coaches during the week - don’t try and be a hero with the ball in defence, play the percentages.

@Catherine_Lio

There is nothing I hate more in this world than FCFC players enjoying themselves and laughing while playing footy. BOOOOOO

FCFC FF Christina Bernardi is hurt late in the game – she will be out for ages, and then return and drag those losers into finals.

@theDJR

@PH_WARFRadio

This is bringing back nightmares of Windy Hill, last round, 2018

[when Vescio kicked 9 goals]

Nah. That was individual brilliance, this is collective incompetence.

2.2.14 loses to 10.8.68

@theDJR

Over the years, there have been very few games where this team has been less than the sum of its parts. This was absolutely one of them (despite a few of the parts being pretty poor), and was an absolute refusal to learn/react to what was happening out there.

Was more frustrating (and a lot more damaging scoreboard-wise) than the late 2019 Bomb-a-thon to a forward line of midgets vs Norf.

We are 0-1-2 after three rounds, and only ahead of Darebin on the ladder.

Now, a palette cleanser:

[theDJR]

ROUND 4 vs Casey

VFLW - Round 4 vs Casey @ The Hangar, 11am Sun 16 April 2023

[image] Which Casey will be named/turn up? Because (small sample, I know) the Pies are not good, but Footscray is.

We react appropriately, by dropping Annabel Strahan (and 7 others!)

The INs include vanLoon, Radford, and El Chaston (the latter playing her first game with us).

@theDJR

This will be the first day featuring a sister and brother playing for us.

(Reese and Jake Sutton. The younger sibling is of course better.)

Sargent is here but not playing. The next game she plays will be for the spit Pies.

@theDJR

van Loon has power in dem thighs.

Still 18yo, will be a monster.

We kick the first 5 points of the game (Paige Scott the worst offender). Then she becomes Great, marks, and goals ten minutes into the game.

At quarter time we lead 2.6.18 to 0.0.0 – not due to wind. It’s 10 inside fifties to 1.

Not long into the second quarter we lead 21-0… and it’s about now things go awry.

@theDJR

21-14

We lead by 7 behinds, literally.

@Lifetime_ban

Jesus Christ their ruck looks like she is 8 feet tall

Courtney (on the wing) has zero disposals at half-time!

For the first time since 2019, we play Barba in defence.

@theDJR

MBateman concedes four marks in a row. Time for a change.

Great Scott straightens us up, and makes our lead 36-22 at the final break.

That’s 4.12.36, from triple the inside fifties.

Scott is knocked out by a teammates’ elbow (they was pushed into the collision by a Demon). And then it’s 37-29, then 37-35… ruh roh!

We fall over the line, from an inside fifty lead of 39-17. After that errant start, Scott kicked three of our four goals.

Alyssa Bannan finished top with 108 fantasy points (20 disposals, 7 tackles, 9 clearances).

@PH_WARFRadio

It’s clear I’m the jinx this season.
First game I miss three quarters (slept in), wake up to see the final quarter and we only scored a point. Thankfully, we scored enough while I was sleeping to set up the win!

@theDJR

MadGray is mad about this photo. Everyone else is happy

[theDJR]

ROUND 5 vs Pies

VFLW - Round 5 vs Pies @ Victoria Park, 11am Sat 22 April 2023

Pies got smashed by Port, couldn’t smash Willy, and has knocked off two decent teams. [image]

Pie captain Caitlin Bunker is also out concussed, to counterbalance Scott’s absence.

The usual chaos with 6 changes, but there is serious quality there: Lila Keck (though she injures her ankle early), Bella Clarke, and EFC VFLW debutants Georgia Clarke and Steph Wales.

@theDJR

After 293 days and 14 missed games, Eloise Ashley-Cooper is back

@theDJR

We’ve named 40 different players in the first 5 games of this year; last year (17 games) it was 36.

We play almost no legit juniors this year, so let’s highlight this one.

@theDJR

A short list of small mid/forward Lila Keck’s achievements:

• Pioneers captain
• captain of Vic Country last year, as an “under-ager” 16yo
• three years runner-up league B&F
• 2 U18 team B&F
• League Team of the Year 2022
• played seniors at Strathfieldsaye last year
• in the 30-across-the-country AFLW Academy

@theDJR

LOL, teams broke after the Last Post but before the anthems. Had to come back. The RSL guy thought that was funny, and after the anthems promised it was now over.

@theDJR

We are murdering our chances.

It’s not till after the quarter time siren that…

@theDJR

Where the helll did that come from?

After the siren Ryan bombs long and accurate!!!

1.2.8 we lead 1.0.6 at quarter tine

And for her first goal we get:

Video at https://twitter.com/essendonvflw/status/1649596794807132160

The AFLW coach is in with some advice.

@theDJR

Pie crapped her dacks when Ryan ran at her, and totally failed to grab the ball. Gold.

I would have done the same thing.

@theDJR

Why do we love entry via the pockets so much???

At half-time we lead 25-6… no wait, that’s the inside fifties. The score is 14-7

This is despite:

@theDJR

Bates unsurprisingly leads on 16 disposals. Within 40 minutes…

Also 6 tackles and 6 clearances.

We don’t have anyone with more than 2 clearances.

To be fair, Radford is on 13 disposals, with Dicker banished to the forward line from the start of the game.

@theDJR

Huge rebound by Crook. One player blinked as they ran at each other, and it wasn’t Tamsin.

The final quarter starts well, as Dicker worries the ball from her opponent and converts from the boundary. That’s her second goal, and the score is now a fair-ish 28-8.

Every coach has their favourite things:

@theDJR

Cloke micro-managing our defensive press.

Ultimately, 4.7.31 defeats 2.3.15

What that score does not show is the 10 total misses!

Radford has 19 disposals in the second half, and Bates “only” 11. Radford has 10 inside fifties (only 2 behind Collingwood!)

@theDJR

Yes, the AFL’s statkeepers think Georgia’s second name is Klarke…

@theDJR

@theDJR

Radford was great. Barba racked it up inside the packs. Ugle spent time on the wing and half-back (particularly damaging during the latter). The crew is back together!

Ryan and Wales have a joint 26 disposals.

@theDJR

@theDJR

We need a taller person to hold the board.

Well played, Laura, well played…

Insane Coach Votes – they agree on 1 of 9 players.

@theDJR

Collingwood 2.3 (15) def by Essendon 4.7 (31)
8 Eleri Morris (COL) = 4+4
5 Amelia Radford (ESS) = 5
5 Stephanie Wales (ESS) = 5
3 Jess Bates (COL) = 3
3 Amber Clarke (ESS) = 3
2 Georgia Clarke (ESS) = 2
2 Sophie Molan (ESS) = 2
1 Elizabeth Jackson (COL) = 1
1 Megan Ryan (ESS) = 1

[theDJR]

ROUND 6 vs Willy

VFLW - Round 6 vs Willy @ Willy, 2pm Sun 30 April 2023

[image] Very random output by FCFC.

Willy has just come off a spectacular smashing of FCFC 45-10.

We make six changes, though for once some of them are forced (Hart-Aluni, Keck, and Molan are all injured). We will not see the first two again this year, while Molan will end up with the greatest number of disposals for the team.

For the first time we play our full allowance (10) of current or just-cut-AFLW players. Sophie van de Heuvel plays her first VFLW game for us (after 20 for Geelong). Georgia Clarke plays her 25th VFLW game.

Radford is a late withdrawal; she carried a rib injury through that stunning last half vs Collingwood.

Hi Courtney hi!

Her rugby duties completed, Clifford returns.

@Hoffy

So nice to hear the dulcet tone of Mia in the forward half.

Oddly for Willy, it is a sunny day with light wind.

Dicker is back in the midfield, but kicks the first goal of the game.

We have a huge backline, and are monstering them. Several times the umps punish us simply for being stronger. They don’t punish Seagull sniping of Spargo or Amber Clarke, though.

Bella Clarke played forward in the first half, because we had so many monsters. It didn’t work, so she swaps with her Georgia namesake for the second half, and both do better after that.

@theDJR

This is an error-riddled game from all three teams.

1.4.10 trails 2.3.15 at the final break.

Yikes.

@theDJR

Ugle does the final words at the huddle, is up for it.

@theDJR

Manfre is up for it.

@theDJR

Mia is up for it.

@theDJR

Amber is up for it. Big tackle at fifty.

@theDJR

We trap it in, Kendra sells candy, and CONVERTS.

@theDJR

Some yobbo 150 metres from the play yells BAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL, and the ump has to agree.

Kendra kicks two goals in five minutes!

30-15

4.6.30 defeats 3.3.21. Willy laid 116 tackles, but we knuckled down and won it in the final quarter.

Ex-Bomber Nicole Julian topped disposals for the day (22).

Courtney had 21, and got a video for it.

VFLW Rd 6 | Ugle's unreal performance

We displace FCFC from the top six.

@theDJR

Can you believe @Hoffy had never met/seen @PH_WARFRadio before today? They were sitting 5 metres from each other.

[theDJR]

ROUND 7 vs Saints

VFLW - Round 7 vs Saints @ The Hangar, 11am Sun 7 May 2023

Saints are all over the place since beating us in round two. We can’t score big, but have won three in a row and one more gets us past them on the ladder. [image]

Ashley-Cooper succumbs to injury, again, and will not play again this year. Ash van Loon comes in to be a very big-bodied midfielder, and Molan moves to the middle as well. Big bodies on a wet day.

This is part of 13 (!!!) changes since we first played the Saints in round 2.

OUT	IN	Comment
M. Busch (28)	C. Prpic (58)	def/mid
R. Tierney (23)	E. Chaston (61)	fwd/mid
M. Pearson (64)	E. Gamble (14)	key def
C. Sargent (80)	M. Clifford (47)	key fwd
A. Barba (11)	A. Radford (22)	key mid
M. Bateman (62)	G. Clarke (17)	KPP
A. Strahan (79)	S. Van De Heuvel (27)	med ute
Z. Hurrell (53)	S. Molan (73)	med ute->big ute
M. Gray (48)	A. Van Loon (26)	med ute->big ute
A. Clarke (33)	R. Sutton (72)	mid/fwd
J. Richardson (52)	S. Wales (30)	ruck
L. Spargo (51)	M. Wilson (66)	small fwd
E. Cornish (55)	D. Marshall (6)	tall ute

@theDJR

With Kendra a late out today (was present; no obvious ailment) that makes Courtney our solo games record-holder on 62.

14 minutes into the second quarter we lead 0.7.7 to 0.0.0… it’s 1.8.14 to 0.1.1 at the final break (Wilson kicked the goal).

Manfre marks and goals early in the final quarter.

@Catherine_Lio

Grace is tackling with wanton abandon.

@Catherine_Lio

Champion data guy just turned to his colleague and said “bloody hell, 44 has 18 tackles”

2.8.20 defeats. 1.2.8, and we move up to fifth.

101 tackles for us, 96 for the Saints. Dicker 19 (and each of hers are worth two), VanLoon 13 tackles (scary) and Radford 11.

For the opposition, you can tell there were a lot of stoppages: Madison Capsalis has 11 clearances from 15 disposals!

The only thing Grace fears is the cold.

[theDJR]

ROUND 8 vs Hawks

VFLW - Round 8 vs Hawks @ Box Hill City Oval, 12noon Sat 13 May 2023

[image] In theory the winner could be top of the ladder, but it’s probably safe to say Geelong can scrape over the line vs Darebin… Excellent chance to pass Port (vs Sts) and maybe Pies (vs Norf).

@theDJR

It’s 1423 days since we last lost to the Hawks.

(not including practice matches)

No pressure.

Year	For	Against	Result
2018	21	60	-39
2018	14	41	-27
2019	20	56	-36
2021	55	27	28
2021	29	14	15
2022	31	31	0
2022	60	7	53
2023	27	27	0

@theDJR

LOL at Paige Scott jumping up during the warm-up stretches to bomb a goal from forty.

Naughty girl.

@theDJR

Wilson (“Willo”) comes off… and heads to the wrong bench.

0-2

@theDJR

We had three tackles at the 12 minute mark. “Not our brand” says Cloke.

@theDJR

The vast bulk of the ground will be dry for the second half.

The cricket pitch is… juicy.

@theDJR

Willo is embarrassed she ran to the wrong bench. Luckily no one documented that

@theDJR

GreatScott selling candy. Opponent grunts in frustration as she is conned. Everyone laughs.

4.3.27 we lead 1.5.11 at the final break.

Cloke usually leaves the huddle swearing for Courtney: “Farking foot on the throat—sorry to swear”

@theDJR

Willo bloodied nose, off.

She’ll come back to Nut Bush City Limits Box Hill City Oval come the finals, and cop a worse blow.

@theDJR

Hawks 1.9.15

Same score as 2019 in the awful wet here.

We win with 5.2.32

(7-10 scores looks bad, but we always looked more dangerous.)

This is five wins in a row, and for a moment we are top of the ladder.

Manfre kicks 2 goals in a game for the first time with us.

@theDJR

Marshall 14 disposals and 6 marks
Boyd 7 and 2, and zero score

Good work, Dani!

@theDJR

Scoring accuracy this year by the two teams is nuts: Hawks have saved their worst for us, and we’ve saved our best for them.

Games	EFC	BHH
Against each other	9.5	4.18
Against other teams	18.41	31.38
TOTAL	27.46	35.56

18.41 by us vs other teams, holy ■■■■

Hurrell gets her first win with us.

@theDJR

Dani didn’t get the joke.

[theDJR]

ROUND 9 vs Cats

VFLW - Round 9 vs Cats @ The Hangar, 11am Sat 20 May 2023

Geelong kicked 3 of their 4 goals vs Darebin in the last 22 minutes of the game. Was ugly before then. [image] Common opponents above are Pies (we did better) and Saints (call it a draw).

It’s Sir Doug Nicholls Round.

Fede gets a bunch of Port Melbourne players to do similarly.

@theDJR

The Cats have got to the top of the ladder courtesy of facing:

• 2 x Darebin
• 1 x Dogs
• 2 x Norf (one win each; the Cats win came a second before the final siren)
• 1 x Pies (lost, the week after we beat them comfortably)
• 1 x FCFC (won by 1 point)
• 1 x Saints (won 17-7)

Where would they be if we took away the teams they’ve played that we haven’t:

• 2 x Darebin
• 1 x Dogs
• 2 x Norf

and replaced them with our opponents:

• 1 x Saints
• 2 x Hawks
• 1 x Willy
• 1 x Casey

?

Holy ■■■■.

We’re gonna win.

Nek minute: we withdraw all of our AFLW players, and the Cats do not.

That creates slots for Cannons Maddison Ford and Sarah Grunden to debut.

@theDJR

Cannons Sutton, Ford, and Grunden.

@theDJR

Changes made this year (ignoring round one): 5, 7, 8, 6, 6, 5, 4, 8.

Only four players have been there for every game: Ryan, Crook, Ugle, and Dicker.

Mia is the sole scorer in the first quarter:

@theDJR

1.0.6 we lead 0.0.0 at quarter time

Inside fifties 2-13 against us!

Sensational team defence, but the game must change or we are doomed.

We need to actually hold a mark when we rebound, and give everyone a chance to move upfield and provide options.

@theDJR

34 tackles in a quarter is great. Zero marks is shocking.

@theDJR

Sutton lays a cuddle in advance of The Beast arriving.

Clifford leads, marks, and goals to make it 12-0.

@theDJR

■■■■ I hate the Geelong cheer squad. More than any other.

Nuffie nuffie nuffie goal goal goal!

Courtney takes advantage of a Cat fumble, and we lead 18-6. Surely us kids ain’t beating the top-of-the-ladder AFLW-packed midfield (Charlotte Simpson has 16 disposals at half-time; we have Sutton on 8)…

@theDJR

3.0.18 we lead 2.1.13 at halftime.

This is my least fun game of all time, because nuffies.

@theDJR

We love it when you snarl, Kendra.

@theDJR

This is an unimpressive fight for top of the ladder.

@theDJR

@theDJR

HOLY ■■■■. At 13:25 Mia stumbles and then flips over the fence at pace!

Cats and the umps go BANG-BANG, and we trail after 65 minutes of hard but inefficient work.

Manfre marks a not-15-metre kick, and goals to make it 26-27 with 3.5 minutes left. We eventually lose 26-28, which was bloody impressive given the teams named. We had our chances late, including a Dicker handball that didn’t get over the top to Clifford in the goal square.

But Grace has 21 tackles!

@theDJR

Let’s look at our post-AFLW starting mids. This is only a sample of 12 centre throw-ups, but still useful. Sutton and Dicker missed only one each.

Player	Q1	Q2	Q3	Q4	Total
Sutton	2	5	1	3	11
Dicker	2	4	1	4	11
Russell	1	3	1	4	9
Davidge	1	4		1	6
Molan			1	3	4
Prpic	1	2		1	4
Ryan	1	2			3
Grand Total	8	20	4	16	48

at the below, I got excited:

@theDJR

FREE AND FIFTY TO BOX HILL WITH SECONDS LEFT!!!

SUCK ■■■■, FCFC!!!

Box Hill wins 4.5.29 to 4.4.28

[theDJR]

ROUND 10 vs Darebin

VFLW - Round 10 vs Darebin @ La Trobe Uni, 10:30am Sun 28 May 2023

[image] I think their ladder status says it all… [image] … but they’re still much better than Footscray was last year. They actually held relatively even against the improved-everywhere-except-for-the-actual-winning-bit Dogs today (6-29 after quarter 1, 14-25 in the last three quarters). Side note, not relevant to us till round 14: both of the Dogs wins saw them smash the first quarter and then stagnate (vs Norf they went 27-1 and then 27-14 for the remaining three quarters… and Norf were a…

@theDJR

I’ve never seen us lose to Darebin (in 2018 I watched the VFLM lose instead).

Year	For	Against	Result
2018	14	41	-27
2019	34	26	8
2021	70	3	67
2021	52	2	50
2022	64	7	57

With Wales withdrawn and Russell playing for the Jets, we debut rucks Jamiee-Lee Morrow and Sophie Ure. They are the 127th and 128th EFC VFLW players.

@theDJR

Since no one asked, there is no singular player #50 or player #100. In both cases (round 2 of 2019 and round 1 this year) there were multiple debutants.

I therefore nominate Nanscawen and Sutton as players #50 and #100.

@theDJR

This is what is needed to exceed the Hawks’ percentage and be third after tomorrow.

Darebin ain’t great, but our top score so far this year is 37.

@theDJR

Darebin now flooding, but the rain is dwindling.

@theDJR

Dicker wins the photo contest, AGAIN.

@miss_ellie

Thanks for the updates @theDJR the stream has stopped quite a few times.

Also, is that gaelic football they are playing on the other field ?

It is! To be precise, it is camogie (the women’s version). Later on, the men play hurling. This is cool, and explains the many lilting voices around us in the pavilion.

It’s sopping wet, and the second quarter is scoreless. Sutton is bossing the game on 15 disposals at half-time, with Angelica Gogos the expected leader for the Falcons.

@theDJR

At half-time Meg puts her hair up in a bun, and Froggy goes on the ball and therefore crosses into the same area as Meg. This confuses the hell out of me for a while.

Yes, the sleeves should have also clued me in.

@theDJR

3.5.23 we lead 0.0.0 at the final break.

Can we serve the three donuts for the second time in our history?

The AFL code monkeys never considered that a scoreless quarter could happen, and it breaks their app.

@theDJR

Everyone else was too gutless to go out in the rain to provide huddle photos.

Not sure Cloke got advance permission from the players to NOT wear THE hat.

We then concede the next 8 points

But some comedy amidst that:

@theDJR

Dear reader: she did not, in fact, kick the goal.

Mia kicks her second goal, gets decked immediately afterward, and kicks her third goal from the free. In a late rush we reach our best score for the year (6.6.42 defeats 1.2.8)

@theDJR

First EFC goals for Madison Ford and Reese Sutton today.

Both had notable games: Reese had a team-leading 22 disposals, 8 tackles, 7 clearances, and that goal. Ford faced conditions not kind to a slender tall, but her 14 disposals were equal-fourth for the team.

Sophie Ure has a bit off the Angus Milham about her: she is very good at being tall, but at least in this game not much else. Not that this wet slog was ever going to be great for a light young ruck on debut.

@theDJR

“Look at all those little people down there!”

We move up to fourth on the ladder, and for the first time this year we move our percentage above 100%

Elsewhere, Willy destroy Fark Carlton for a second time.

@theDJR

Q: What’s the difference between rank wooden-spooners Darebin and FCFC?

A: Darebin scored three times as often as FCFC did in the last 77 minutes and 14 seconds of their games

(joke was better before FCFC scored that one time)

[theDJR]

ROUND 11 vs Norf

I start doing extended history lessons to start the game threads.

IN: Bateman
OUT: Bateman

This is Lily’s official debut for us – she had played in both of the practice matches three months ago.

@theDJR

Norf article says:

They have been replaced by the Felicity Theodore, who missed last week’s loss to Box Hill with illness, and Round 10 emergency Zara Flanigan.

You’re no Langford, ex-Bomber Felicity (9 games and 5 goals as a forward pocket in 2019 and 2021).

The Felicity will unfortunately play a very good game versus us…

@theDJR

“Let’s do it, big dog” Ryan screams at Ure before the bumping part of warmup.

It’s a foggy day even at high noon, and raining.

@theDJR

Grandstands getting used.

@theDJR

Got to just outside our fifty for the first time in 10(?) minutes right before the halftime siren.

1.3.9 trails 2.8.20

A lot of their shots weren’t from great spots, but they could have finished the game that quarter, rather than kicking 1.5 to our 0.0.0

2-15 on inside fifties that quarter.

@theDJR

The accompanying text says this is a hit-out by Morrow. Footy faces!

@theDJR

This ruck experiment needs to stop. Ryan and Russell are more competitive.

Ure has 6 hit-outs but zero fantasy points.

Norf are shockingly good in this game – I’d attended their game vs lowly Footscray earlier in the year, when they looked near-Darebin level.

@theDJR

Inside mid (Prpic) gets the ball to outside mid (Huta)

Manfre clunks and goals (yes, the fog has cleared!)

@theDJR

2.5.17 trails 4.9.33 at the final break.

The last five minutes were good, but we will need to win the final 20.

Shocking umpiring of tackles that quarter, mostly but not entirely against us.

Ryan starts the final quarter at CHB.

@theDJR

Saving us… lots.

And we STEP UP.

@theDJR

Wow. Wilson grubber goal. Came from Molan clearance, and Mia fighting.

35-39

LET’S GO.

I hear Mia from 190 metres away.

5.7.37 loses to 6.9.45… and I wasn’t too impressed with the umpiring.

@theDJR

I was annoyed at getting beaten in the first half. I was livid at improved work being shat upon by gross incompetence in the second half.

@Catherine_Lio

Grace doesn’t need to buy suits - she just wears her opponent.

A weekly reminder.

@theDJR

Dicker 19 tackles; next best was 10.

She comfortably won the fantasy point tally across both teams.

[theDJR]

ROUND 12 vs Casey

VFLW - Round 12 vs Casey @ Casey Fields, 12noon Sat 17 June 2023

The sole bye for the VFLW season is next week on King’s Birthday weekend. Then we go interstate. [image] They’ve beaten the Cats and Norf recently, and we haven’t. But we beat top-of-the-ladder Saints, and they couldn’t. The Cats differential mostly relates to the inclusion, or not, of AFLW players.

Ure is out, injured (but absolutely not a good match versus Swain anyway).

@theDJR

It’s interstate GAME DAY.

Let’s continue our 100% win record at that ground.

@theDJR

The last 4km I was stuck behind this car. Ignore the stickers on the bottom left; they’ve done all our games this year.

We have the very substantial wind in the first quarter.

@theDJR

Manfre point.

Dicker miss.

I return the ball quickly because we can’t waste wind time.

@Chris_1993

@theDJR racking up stats in the first quarter

@theDJR

We clear, Meg roves, we get that goal.

3.2.20 leads 0.0.0 at quarter time.

It’s easily a 20 point wind if you win clearances.

We need a stoppage fest.

@theDJR

Meg rucking; has no problem wrestling with Swain.

@theDJR

3.2.20 leads 1.5.11 at halftime. Phew.

I hope you enjoyed watching me and La Presidenta and Boofhead that quarter.

It takes us 16 minutes with a huge wind to kick a goal in the third quarter (Manfre outworks two Demons).

@theDJR

4.6.30 leads 1.5.11 at the final break.

All scores have occurred at the end Casey that will have to finish this game.

We manage to burn 6.5 minutes before they goal to creep up to 30-17.

@Catherine_Lio

I hope everyone is enjoying the view of my dogs butt for extended periods of this play

It takes them another 8 minutes to score the next point. Awesome defending.

But then…

@theDJR

Ump gives them a free in front of goal (Dicker tackled impolitely).

30-24 with 3 minutes left.

I don’t know what a draw means for us. It kills Casey.

30-25… oh ■■■■, if they goal in these last two minutes there is ZERO chance of getting even a draw.

A series of repeat stoppages later, and we survive.

All 55 points were kicked at the southern end.

Inside 50s	EFC	Casey
Q1	13	4
Q2	0	12
Q3	11	3
Q4	0	9
TOTAL	24	28

We got smashed inside (clearances lost 14-28), and outside. Our 96 tackles saved us: Dicker had 15 of them, and 6 clearances.

@theDJR

What Mia said!

42 points is our highest score this year (so far).

42 points was our 14th highest score last year.

The squads are totally not comparable, but we’ve willed ourselves to 7 wins in the past 9 games (and the losses were by 2 and 8 points).

Today was hard. That’s what made it great

@theDJR

I’m never gonna watch this again, but geez those last 11 minutes was us fantastically refusing to die.

I’ve been doing ladder predictions for the last month, but with so many teams so close freakish things keep happening…

@theDJR

Hawks farked up! Again!

3.9 is one of their favourite scores.

That draw puts Hawks 7th rather than 3rd!

Hawks 39 inside fifties to the Cat’s 20.

Find someone who loves you as much as Box Hill loves throwing away a win.

[theDJR]

ROUND 13 vs Port

VFLW - Round 13 vs Port @ Port, 11:30am Sun 25 June 2023

[image] Win this, and we may be minor premiers (no matter how improbable our percentage suggests this should be). Lose, and maybe fourth.

Manaia Huta plays her 25th VFLW game (the first 16 were with Darebin).

Also, she is 21yo this day!

@theDJR

They presumably read every single name, and still didn’t get it.

@theDJR

@AngryAussie

Seeing Frew named is so bittersweet. She is absolutely killing it there.

She isn’t.

Caruso is going very well, though.

And NEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW Lisa Hardeman medallist!

@theDJR

This ground was rebuilt just a few years ago, and is a sandy craphole.

@theDJR

We’re fighting and tackling harder than Port. But our attacks are not good: twice in rapid succession we kick to a sole Port player in the goal square.

Spoiler: this is one of those game where you can watch the replay and repeatedly say “oh, that’s when we failed to finish top of the ladder”:

@theDJR

We go deep and Manfre, Huta, and Wilson stay calm and get Sutton a set shot.

Which she utterly botches.

That ball does not appear to be on the line between Reese and the goals.

I agree with Mr Cloke:

@theDJR

“18 inside fifties for one point: that’s bullshit”

@theDJR

Ryan gets elbowed in the face by Dudley.

Ump says “I’ll allow it”.

Brains can win you a premiership:

@theDJR

Port not just bombing with the wind. Willing to chip short to advantage.

We are smashing them on the clearances (20-10 at half time), with Dicker Molan and Chaston top of the stats.

@theDJR

ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY LET FEDE HAVE A SNAP AT GOAL.

@theDJR

Chaston has a bad habit of looking at the ump after they are tackled high. Both times the ump has pinged them for stopping and expecting competence. This one creates an inside fifty, and goal.

1-19, eek

El does bounce back to kick the next goal of the game.

Mia follows up. We trail 13-19 at the last break: the wind is a problem but not at all Casey-like. Ex-Bomber defenders Caruso and Liv Barton lead the disposal tallies with 16 and 15.

OUTTA NOWHERE! Orritt goals!

@DonBomb

Scarlett making Port see red!

It’s 19-21 with 8 minutes left.

We win inside fifties 36-21 and lose 19-23

Dicker has 21 disposals, 10 clearances, 13 tackles, 6 inside fifties…

@theDJR

Orritt and Chaston kicked their first goals for EFC today.

@theDJR

Most of today’s standouts for us today are obvious per the stats, but special credit to Meg Ryan as CHF/ruck (an aggressive 16 disposals and one grab hands) and Maddy Pearson (particularly in the first half, where she repeatedly beat back attacks with good reading of the conditions).

Crap; I just remembered the mark Meg was not paid twenty from goal with the wind directly behind her. When the result is <6 points, moments really matter.

@theDJR

Prespakis watched (at least briefly) from outside the main gate, because dogs aren’t allowed in.

[theDJR]

ROUND 14 vs Footscray

VFLW - Round 14 vs Dogs @ Windy Hill, 11am Sat 1 July 2023

[image] [image]

After their win last week, Port are the only team guaranteed finals. All we need to do to make finals in beat the team 11th on the ladder. Let’s see how hard we can make that look…

For the first time of the year, we’re at the magical place that is Windy Hill.

Sophie Ure, MadGray, Eloise Ashley-Cooper, and some other yobbo.

La Presidenta is on scoreboard duty on the far wing, where you can say anything and no one will know.

@Catherine_Lio

The umpire just mis threw the ball, said “ohh ■■■■, sorry guys” and threw the ball again.

I’m a fan.

@theDJR

I think this is after Meg kicked it forty metres down the wing, and then chased it down, and beat everyone, and they had to close Footscray.

We give up the lead, and steal it back just before half-time. It’s 3.0.18 to 2.1.13, but we’re mostly being out-worked.

@theDJR

Brendan Major tells us nerds to stop discussing ladder possibilities: “wait half an hour; we’ll win this by six goals!”

Nek minute: the Dogs rapidly double their score, and we are looking at missing finals.

Kenny makes a rundown tackle for a set shot… misses. Then she gets in space, kicks from 25 on the run… hits the post! Argh!

@theDJR

3.3.21 trails 4.2.26 at the final break.

Do or die time.

@theDJR

Mia doesn’t care if there are broken bones… let’s ■■■■■■■ go, she demands.

@theDJR

Molan rebound in the middle, to Chaston who chips it forty metres to the goal square: Manfre marks!!!

And goals.

We lead.

27-26

Urgency is on display, finally.

@theDJR

They miss, and tie it up.

27-27

A draw would mean we miss finals.

Mia gets whacked, distant ump has to over-ride the local. Slots it!

AND THEN THIS HAPPENS!

@theDJR

Crook disposes of their giant, Huta shimmies through congestion. Morrow kicks to the wing; Davidge is tackled and just gets the kick away. Orritt collects and kicks long… the ball bounces sixty out, and The Beast has got the break. She collects, she runs to the pocket, she kicks… SHE GOALS!

2023 VFLW Round 14: Essendon v Western Bulldogs

@AngryAussie

That is Sam Draper-esque levels of celebration!
So happy Meg has stuck around after missing out on the AFLW spot for season 8. What a legend.

@theDJR

THE BEAST after her second goal. Her season has gone through several stages:

1. me worried about our ruck stocks
2. Meg proving me wrong by being a huge part of our clearance stats, both before and while Steph Wales was present
3. spending more (too much?) time forward, and struggling
4. the last few weeks she has been scary forward: she is one-grabbing the ball, playing on aggressively, burning people off in space (as here) and, yes, kicking goals!

The last quarter is 20-2 in our favour, to eventually win comfortably 41-28.

Pressure like this Sutton rundown was how we turned the game around:

@theDJR

TARGET LOCKED.

TARGET LIQUIDATED.

Kenny looking after a dazed Pearson – she copped a late hit to the head, and Wilson with a GOOD DOG.

Disposal-wise, it’s the usual culprits up the top: Molan 25, Chaston 21, Dicker 16, Sutton 15, Ryan 15 and 2 goals. Prpic has a game-high 6 clearances… from 7 disposals!

@theDJR

Crook bashed up (kick to calf, blow to the head) but will be good to go.

SHUT. UP.

@Blummers32

Another gritty game.
Thought that first 5 minutes of the 3rd was going to hurt us again, but we responded well.
Chaston, Meg and Manfre were very good. Sutton and Dicker great too.

[theDJR]

Elimination Final vs Hawks

VFLW - Elimination Final vs Hawks @ Box Hill City Oval, 11am Sat 8 July 2023

Will be final #7 within 2 years (730 days)… let’s roll.

Back to Box Hill to play the Hawks, for the fourth time this year.

You know how I reported Crook would be fine to go? After 21 games in a row, Tamsin is OUT.

It’s worth noting that Saints AFLW stole Maddie Boyd from Hawks VFLW the week before… and then lost to them in the final game, and missed finals!

There is an ever-increasing wind across the ground, slightly favouring our end in the first quarter. We lead 8-0 at the end of it (Manfre marked and goaled).

We give up the lead, and then with seconds left in the first half:

@theDJR

Tia takes her contractually obliged mark, and pumps it to our pocket.

Hurrell mark. Tia mark. Richardson mark.

Converts from hard on the boundary!!!

14-13

We’ve got a few injury concerns: Pearson gets the thigh strapped, and then Wilson busts her left elbow and comes off in tears.

Manfre has a string of near-goals. We lead 23-14 at the final break, with the Hawks to have the (cross-)wind in the last.

Manfre (tackle) and Prpic (CLUNK) have chances, and don’t convert them. The Hawks get the first goal of the final quarter, and are a kick from winning the final.

@theDJR

@theDJR

Chloe goes CLUNK!

@theDJR

Grace says the mark “looked like an accident”; is howled down by the crowd behind the interchange gate for saying that

@theDJR

Meg scared the ball from that opponent.

From a distance it looked like the Hawk handed it over, screaming “don’t hurt me! I don’t want any trouble!"

The below is representative of the umpiring in the last quarter. Fend-off = opportunity. That is pinged every day of the week, ya nuffie.

2023 VFLW Elimination Final: Box Hill v Essendon

@EssendonPride1

How the hell was that not htb

@theDJR

Tackling calls are ■■■■■■■ disgraceful this quarter.

@barnz

umpires a hawks fan 100%

@barnz

why do umpires respect the hawks, they dont even give the ball back to them?

@theDJR

Umps are swinging this game, 100%

We keep tackling, we stop them scoring, Manfre goes CLUNK on the siren.

She converts, and 4.7.31 defeats 3.3.21

@Slappery

2 huge clunks to finish
Brilliant

@barnz

cop that diving/throwing flogs

@miss_ellie

That was a great win girls.

The tackling was really good and loved that they were a bit aggressive in the last.

Ryan should strut her stuff more.

And the most important outcome of this final:

@theDJR

@theDJR

Wait… is Chloe’s surname pronounced Purr-pitch or Prip-itch? I’d just assumed the latter till now. Goes searching, hears both Prep-eck and Peer-pick.

I asked a Croatian and he says Purr-pitch (keep the Purr short).

[theDJR]

Semi Final vs Pies

In a direct copy of 2021, we finish fifth and win our Elimination Final.

@theDJR

Have I ever mentioned how much I love FCFC? A very unexpected win by them over Willy means we are the highest-ranked winner of an elimination final, and therefore we are now playing for a spot in the Grand Final. Even if we lose, we get a double chance via the Preliminary Final.

Thank you, FCFC.

P.S. Fark Carlton!

No changes (no Crook! Wilson lives!)

@theDJR

“Bella Clarke, come hither”

Legit quote, just before the team runs out.

After 11 minutes, a scorching pass from Molan hits Mia on the lead. She converts to make the score 8-0, and to be the first Essendon VFLW player to kick 50 goals. Frew only kicked 49, and is here today near our bench and players. And so is Alex Quigley, another noted FF for us.

At quarter time we lead 9-1… is this real, are we about to become Premiership favourite?!?

Mia hurts her ankle. She comes on and off for the rest of the game.

There’s no wind, but the Pies beat us 0-15 in the second quarter.

@theDJR

Dicker 1 tackle, WTF.

Bunker 10 and Bates 8

Ryan has more clearances (6) than Jess Bates (5).

After getting tested prior to the third quarter for some kind of ailment, Dicker has 14 disposals and 8 tackles in the second half to tie Bates.

@theDJR

Dicker v Bates (f/ Morrow and Caris)

@theDJR

@paddyl90

@theDJR

@paddyl90 is going to get off his arse and get behind our goals in the second half.

Hello old friend its been a while.

MIA!!!

Contested clunk top of the square.

16-16

@paddyl90 gets some credit for that goal.

And that’s the score at the final break:

@theDJR

At 3:10 Dokiok is pinged for the throw. She walks over the mark more than 10m, gets called back 3m, fails to come back, quisling ump allows it. For a quarter-competent ump that is a set shot less than 20m from goal, and likely entry to the Grand Final. FFS.

Throw (note the relative position of the centre circle)

Ump asks Dojiok to come back a small fraction of her cheating.

Came back 2 of the 3 metres asked.

Mark should have been set 15m from our goal.

We got the first point, but then a ghost from our past (Caitlin Sargent) arises to mark and goal.

It’s the only goal for the quarter, and we lose 2.6.18 to 3.4.22… Molan surprisingly fell short with a kick on the run at the death.

@theDJR

Mia and Kenny in tears on the way off.

[theDJR]

PRELIMINARY FINAL vs Port

VFLW - Preliminary Final vs Port @ Port, 2PM Sun 23 July 2023

FCFC choked after having the first 6 scores of the game, and lost by 1 point!

Port knocked off Fark Carlton (BY ONE POINT ) to join us in the Prelim.

Mia is struggling to be ready:

Two huge ins: Crook for us, and Emily Harley for them.

@theDJR

Froggy is brutal.

@theDJR

VFLW Stats - Upcoming Games

We are on average 2 years younger than them, despite having the two oldest players. That includes 8 players junior to their youngest. Our middle bunch of players have played half as many games as their equivalents.

And then @Riolio went on holiday, and the Blitz server burnt to the ground… so no coverage of the Prelim for you!

@theDJR

@AngryAussie

Guessing Kendra has decided to hang up the boots, what a stalwart to the club.

Port get on a roll in the second quarter, and so…

@theDJR

I went double-or-nothing in the second half, watching from behind our goals. I got nothing, apart from this Wilson goal.

Unfortunately, that placed us next to some of the unsavoury types in the cheer squad. During the third quarter a Port player went down, and comments to the effect “and stay down!” were made.

Mia turned around, and made it clear we wish that upon no one.

@Blummers32

Best on had to be Bella.
Without her, the game would have been gone by half time.
Class act.

Hopefully the majority of the group return back next year.

@theDJR

Molan was clearly our most influential player. Was everywhere.

Grace was our most talented and scariest-for-Port player (and she also Dicker-ed 15 victims).

Bella was our most complete defender.

Lauren dis-obeyed me, and went on to get TWO shiny things!

@theDJR

Get yourself a shiny thing, Lauren Caruso.

@theDJR

@HBomb

Umpiring standard worst of all our games on the weekend (Port 22 Essendon 5).

It was 4-10 at halftime, so make that 1-12 in the second half. We were not playing dirty, if you’re wondering.

It very much followed the Footscray script: we jump them early (but don’t convert enough chances into goals) and then a rapid rash of ump interventions turned the tide. Momentum shifted, and once their confidence was up we never clawed the game back (and in this case the frees split got worse!)

@theDJR

LOL, we have a 2-photo gallery on the EFC site, both of which are Georgia giving Kenny a hug.

@theDJR

Oh no! The Child of the Corn is coming at me!

Nek second:

@theDJR

Harley kicked half of their score.

@theDJR

Fede had 14 disposals despite never venturing midfield – more than last week when she never ventured forward!

Crook kept her scoreless, though.

Fede blew our many current and ex players and staff a kiss before this shot.

[theDJR]

But tell me what you feel!

Let’s be up-front here… there’s not many games this year that would be high on my re-watch list. It was very often a slog, and we weren’t the only team struggling.

• Darebin lost to Casey 130-8
• Casey lost to the Saints 59-17
• The Saints lost to a Boyd-less Hawks 21-4
• The Hawks kicked their favourite score 3.9.27 (never change!) to draw the Cats 4.3.27
• The Cats lost to the Pies 43-3
• The Pies lost to Port 57-20
• Port lost to Norf 6-4
• Norf lost to Footscray 54-15
• Footscray lost to FCFC 45-9
• FCFC lost to Willy 45-10 and 50-12
• Willy lost to EFC 30-21… SO GIVE US THE FLAG!

That was legit my first attempt at an all-teams chain… half-way through I was thinking I should gave written a program to check if any such chain actually existed. Good thing I started with Darebin

Our backline was fantastic, with quality additions such as Hurrell, Ford, and (when not midfielding) Molan. Molan is the “old” one at 22yo.

Midfield we had to replace the likes of Nanscawen Radford Zanchetta Anthony Doonan Barba… I mean, basically Mission Impossible. In the practice matches we experimented wildly.

We lost our expected #1 ruck on the eve of the season. We started the midfield with Sutton, who had a total of zero VFLW games to her name. Dicker grew, and grew, and grew. Wee Meg Ryan proved me to be very very wrong (big-bodied midfielder! If you had that on your bingo card, you’re lying). We threw 18yo kids in to scrap (Prpic and Davidge). And then we picked up Chaston and Molan (the latter when not CHBing).

Come the end of the year, the midfield was solid. Hell, even Kendra acolyte Huta got aggressive on a wing in that Semi Final.

The forward line… well. I already commented on that. It’s bloody hard to win games when you can’t score. Just ask 2019 and 2021.

And the even-bigger question? No Miller, no Major, massive player turnover? Would the spirit survive?

Yes.

We are not anywhere the best squad, or the most experienced, or the best balanced. But having an attitude of “no, ■■■■ you, I’m gonna fight” is a hell of a thing, and can take a flawed team to one kick from minor premiers, and a different single kick from a Grand Final. This list had no right to do that, especially after starting with a draw and two losses (one of them being our fourth-worst ever).

Our captains inspire. Grace and Meg inspire. That’s infectious.

We are not that many players, or midfield-forward connection, away from being right up there again.

[theDJR]

I rushed the writing and then had to wait 16 days anyway…

[theDJR]

[Hoffy]

Never in doubt